Tuesday, 1 November 2011

How to be a Buffalo

It's November the first, and what else is there to do if not be a buffalo. I know; everyone is talking about it. You're on the public transport and you hear people next to you wondering about certain details of the whole process. I was on my way to work the yesterday, and as I walked passed the Conservatory of creative arts I heard third year students discussing their this weeks assignment. Guess what it was? Yes, of course it was about how to be a buffalo. So I decided that my today's task will be to explain to you all how it's done the right way. There are several things that one has to be aware of before starting the process. These quite important factors will determine how successful you will be at being a buffalo. And when you finally get the expected result, you'll also need instructions on how to become normal again.

So first of all there are three vital things you should know. One, never try this under influence of any intoxicating substances. Second, you should avoid this experience if you have health problems such as weak heart, breathing issues, strong allergies, etc. Last, but not least, make sure you have had enough food before you become a buffalo.

As someone who is about to take up this jurney you might want to know that some myths that you've heard are not exactly accurate. You may be a buffalo if you're pregnant. This will not harm you or your child. Quite opposite, it's good for growing minds. Another myth is that one can become a buffalo only in November. While most of us do choose this moths due to different reasons, many still practice this throughout the entire year. The myth that I've heard the most is that it's not good for one's health. This is not ture if one follows the accurate steps on how to be a buffalo.

Alright, so now to the business. First thing is that you have to choose the right time. Any time can be good, it depends on when you feel the best. It could be early in the morning, or late in the evenig, mid day, or midnight. You should be well rested and not hungry. There is almost no other preperation needed. You'll get best results if you'll do it alone, but it could be done in twos or even as a group activity. (The reason why it's better to do it alone is that not everyone will be 'feel at their best' at the same time.) After you have chosen the right time, you need to decide the right place. The most comonly chosen location is own personal space, so it would be either your bedroom or office. However, you may do it anywhere else. I do suggest that you avoid public areas, it could be harder to concentrate, and so you will not be able to achieve the expected result. Now that the location is confirmed you are ready to be a buffalo. Stand (you are allowed to be sitting if you have circumstances that do not allow standing) with your feet together, hands down by your side, and closed eyes facing any diretion. Relax your body and mind. Imagine there are no walls around you. Not physical walls, but the walls we create in our heads. In other words, step out of the box, let your mind fly. Think of one day in a buffalo's life. Better be a positive one, if you want to gain positive emotions from being a buffalo. Now remind yourself that you are strong. Yell it in your mind. Repeat. And again. Free your mind from the illusions of real life. There is nothing but you, a strong buffalo. Remember to breath. Keep your mind on this frequiency. Repeat the thoughts back and forth for a few times.

Now when you've come out of the experience you need to rest well. This activity will take a lot of your free energy and you will feel tired. Make sure you sit or lie down. Always remeber to keep your breath at constant levels. Now count to ten in a very slow manner. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. TEN.

To conclude have a hot drink with no milk or sugar. Take the drink in small sips. Once the drink is finnished you may continue with your day as you normally would.

If you have any questions please don't hesitate to contact me.

Thank you, and have a nice day. :)

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