Friday, 24 February 2012

A Moment's All it Takes to Say Goodbye

I wish I had the courage to leave everything behind and (yet again) start anew. It would be difficult, unbearable, but I believe it would be worth it. Would it?

I know that it is very possible to pick myself up this very moment and do things that have actual meaning and reasonable consequences. What I mean is that I am doing very little to improve my current situation.

Bye now.

Now Playing - Zucchero feat. Ronan Keating - Il Volo (The Flight)

Wednesday, 22 February 2012

A Seven Nation Army Couldn't Hold Me Back

In life we face countless choices, often we pick the bad ones, other times we choose the great ones. The thing is that you can't always be sure which choice is the right one. Plus to make life even more difficult, there is no ONE right choice. In every situation there are several choices. Sometimes we get more of the ones that lead to a good conclusion, in other cases we are forced to choose one of the few lesser evils.

Any-who, a wise person once said something along the lines of "to be old and wise you first must be young and stupid." Interpret it which ever way you want, but I do want to point out that not all young-and-stupid will become old and/or wise.

Sunday, 19 February 2012

Šūpulī līgo lēni, Dzelteni valodzēni.

Viss nāk un aiziet tālumā.

Bet ne vienmēr viss sākas no gala. Ir iespēja pārtraukt ciklus, vajag tikai ļoti gribēt un izvēlēties pareizo brīdi. Varbūt pietiek latviešiem nīkt un pūt? Varbūt ir vērts saņemties?

Tu nevari nogremdēt to, kas ir mans, tu nevari atņemt to, kas man pie ādas pieaudzis klāt.
Tu nevari bērnam atņemt māti. Tu nevari manus vārdus no mutes raut laukā.
Mana valoda ir kā nasta. Citreiz smaga, nepanesama.
Bet vispatīkamāk ir, kad tā viegla kā latvja dziesma, kas ausīs kūst.
Lai kur arī esi, tai skanot var justies kā mājas.

Es esmu latvietis un mūžam latviets' palikšu.

Skries mana vālodzīte,
Pakalnu klaigātāja.
Sauks mani atkal mājās,
Pasaules staigātāju. 

Tagad skan: "Viss nāk un aiziet tālumā" un "Vālodzīte"

Saturday, 18 February 2012

Let Go Your Heart, Let Go Your Head

I simply like the fact that if I keep things up the same way, you will never be able to fully understand what I'm thinking.

Who am I?

Thursday, 16 February 2012

It's the End of the World as We Know It

Every day a piece of You dies. A little, tiny piece of you suffocates, then disappears to never return again. About 50% of the time you die with it, and the idea that a part of you is gone brings you down. It keeps you back, it holds you behind and doesn't let you succeed, progress. So we end up as failures, as the injured souls, as the ones who lost the fight, when there wasn't one to begin with. It's much like a chicken - egg situation, or the nature-nurture debate. Despite what you want (or, in fact, what you need), a piece of you dies, and you are forced to accept it no matter what. If you don't, you're the loser!
The other 50% of the time it's a good thing that a part of you dies. We take it as a hint to move on, and so we do that. Often it might be something we were trying to get rid off in the first place, there fore you are satisfied and are able to move on. Either way, you must learn to leave certain things behind. In life everything changes. A wise guy once said that the only thing that is constant is change.

And so, because this is MY blog, and I WANT it to be all about ME! This is where I can be as selfish as I want and there ain't anyone who can judge me for it.. AND SO, my problem is that I'm scared to leave certain things of the past behind. I want to hold on to things as a security kind-of thing. I need my past to reassure that even when I fail miserably, I'll have my rescue boat right by my side. I'm a coward.

When I talk to You, I feel like I'm talking to a stranger. Suddenly everyone is a stranger. I'm a stranger to myself. I can't seem to put things together. I refuse to accept the reality.

I don't know how to live, I've lost it.

I exist.

Saturday, 11 February 2012

Thanks for the memories

-Do you ever think?
-I think all the time.
-Really? What do you think about?
-If that would be true, then there wouldn't be coffee all over your table, floor, and your soul.
-What can I say, at least it's good coffee.

Moving is a pain in the ass. I'm not usedd to this place, this setting in general. Further more, as bad as I feel about it, I do not want to get used to this. Living with an other family is harder than I thought. Plus the hardest part is that I know these people, not that they are a family. That didn't come out right. Let's try again. The hardest part in moving in with a family that you know is not that they are a family, but that you know them. Who am I kidding, the family part is breaking my nerves as well. The KID! OMFG!! As much as I like their parents, and, to a certain extent, him (the child), he can be a real tourture. First of all him going to bed, for certain there will be tears and crying, i.e. your movie night - ruined. The child is a spoiled rat. From what I hear, the parent actions could be backed up with certain past events, and things that they all have gone throuh. But what is going on here is a bit TOO much. The kid gets a new toy every time anyone goes to a store. Most of the time it is something small, like a car, a new sword, etc. But for fucks sake, how is the child going to learn to live? Everytime he sheads a tear that he wants to go to the store, guess what happens? The family goes shopping. This kid, so far, has learned that to impress people you need new things. For example, a new scary mask to frighten people. Further more, as you probably imagined, it doesn't stop there. This kid has more shoes than his mother. Plus he eats dinner (or any other meal, for that matter) ONLY because he WILL get a sweet afterwards. If the kid sees a cartoon where someone is having a birthday party, the next day there is going to be a cake in the house. Thank god it's nothing specialy ordered.
Obviouusly the kid misses his gradparents and family that are back in Latvia, and he has no FrIeNdS, so parents try to compensate that by buying crazy amount of toys.

By the way, it's the classic story, the kid gets a new toy, he plays with it for a few minutes, an hour tops, and then it is forgotten.

Oh, and this kid has this thing, where he says "i don't like it" (it latvina, of course). He uses his cute voice and he tells it in a manner that makes it sound like he is in pain. When ever he says it (about 100 times a day), his parents drop everything an dgo right to him to find out what it is the kid dislikes, and then, no matter how redicilous the thing is, they try their best to defeat the obstacle. You might wonder what kind of things they are, well for instance, he might not like the toy in the happy meal that he got, or he got tired of the cartoon that he was screaming for five minutes ago..

Well, i'm done. It's my day, and I'm having the morning and afternoon only to myself. Watching old seasons of Two and a Half Men, THINKING about taking a shower, burning food and setting the fire detector off, spilling coffee everywhere, and missing important calls.

Yeah life is great!

Tuesday, 7 February 2012

You don't have to..

You don't have to be fabulous to make things happen; You simply have to be determined.