Saturday, 26 January 2013

A Week Ago

It's been a week since I moved. And just about yesterday I realized that I've lived in four places in the last 12 moths. How crazy is that? It's a rhetorical question, no need to answer. It seems like all I've been doing is looking for a new room to rent.
Anywho, I really hope that this place will be satisfying enough to not have to move again any times soon. At least not while I'm in this city.
I moved to a place where I was least likely to move to. A flat on the other end of the city, meaning I have to take public transportation in the morning to get to work. (I am a person who can not stand crowded buses!!!) Before I used to walk almost everywhere, but now I have a bus pass, so I choose to take the bus even if for a short distance.
Second is that I live with one person, a guy, from a different ethnic background. While originally I was looking to live with more than one person, since I've always believed it is more fun to live with more people. While I don't necessarily like people with me all the time, i like knowing that there is someone in the house. And well, I chose a flat that is not very cheap, the rational part of me would have gone with a not-so-good flat with cheaper rent.
So I contradicted myself in every way, chose something that I was least likely to choose. This surprised not only me, but people around me as well.

Last Saturday I was out with some friends, and got home at around 3 am. I had to be in work on Sunday, so I went straight to bed to get at least a little sleep. At 7 am there were police officers banging at the door (welcome to the neighbourhood), they had received a call from my flatmates cell phone, and they had come here to check if everything was ok. However, my flatmate wasn't home, so it was quite frustrating. The police, and I called him several times, but he refused to share his location. It was so confusing!!!
But in the end everything turned out well, and I even made it on time to work.
On Monday was poker night, but Bar 10 was closed and no one had been informed that it will be shut for the night. So we all just went to a casino to play poker there, but i had little luck and lost soon. Played some Blackjack, that turned out to be fun, since I got some money out of it! :P
Rest of the week went by pretty well. Work is like usual, just getting to it is a hassle, it's not a hassle, but ugh, i just dislike going to work by bus. When it's time to get home, it literally takes ages. OK, NO it does not, but it takes long. I don't like this. But I'll get used to it.
On Thursday I bought pizza. Had watermelon for dessert. And topped the evening with loads of Youtube videos (enjoyed the unlimited wi-fi).
Friday I went out with two gals. The club was alright, but one of the girls got sick soon, and started disappearing on us. So we found her and had to call it a night a bit earlier than expected. By the time I got home I too got a bit sick. Probably because too much drinks had been mixed (wine, champagne, gin, apple sourz....). And today I had a bad hangover, I don't usually get that.. It was not a pleasant morning. Spent rest of the day watching Big Bang Theory and Bones.
My life really seems empty at the moment, maybe I need a new hobby, or just pick up an old one...?

Friday, 18 January 2013


I am one of a kind, not because that's what they all say. And not because it is original to be different, but because I really am like no one else. There are several things that bring me out of the crowd. Tonight, for instance, it is the fact that I learn from my mistakes.
I made a choice once, and I regretted it. And then I felt silly, since I knew that if I hadn't done what I did, then I would still feel the same, but for different reasons. BUT now, I simply know to not do that again.

I am like no one else because I know what I want and I do everything possible to not achieve it. And when I finally do the right thing, I fail. It's pathetic. (But really it's just Murphy's law.) I'm doomed to fail regardless of any other external (or internal) factors.

I'm tired. I want to go to bed, but I can't; not today, not now. I want to say what I think, but I can't.. and I never will, not about this one thing. It's called life. It sucks on every possible level. And yet I enjoy it, it must be the masochistic side of me speaking.

Anywho, I'd like to say one more thing, no several more things, but not now...not ever.

P.S. Men are stupid. (Just so you don't forget!)

Tuesday, 15 January 2013


Yeah, the title doesn't lie, I will be moving, yet again(!!!) this weekend. I don't have a plan as to how I'm going to move my things. I'll probably end up taking a taxi; the big one, since I have quite a few things to move. Whats even more bazaar is that I will now be living at the almost opposite end of the city. I'll be roughly the same distance away from city center. But now I will have to take the bus every morning to work. Now that's something that will be hard to get used to!

Anywho, it has been an elaborate, exhausting process to find a new place, ie. a new room to rent.
Things will be different, and I doubt they will be better. Yeah, my hopes are not high up. I mean until now, the last two-three moths have been more or less great. No, that's a lie, they have not been great. But it was good, in a really odd way it's been a good few weeks.
Besides living five minute walk away from work has definitely bee a luxury.

Saturday, 12 January 2013

Man Sāp Galva

Es nezinu cik ilgi es šito vājprātu izturēšu. Bet turos. Bļins, turos par spīti visam.
Gribu ieritināties mazā kūniņā un tā arī palikt.

Sunday, 6 January 2013


2013 has just begun, and it's already been quite a journey. Problems keep appearing, some out of nowhere. Other problems I seem to fetch out of thin air. You know how I am, I like complicating everything. 

But I've decided to make some lemonade. You know, when life gives you lemons.. ;)
Gotta take what ever I can, and the past few days have been a nightmare, to say the least. So very few good things are happening. None. Zero. Close to zero. Just because I'm positive. And I shall keep this attitude no matter what.

Oh, I just remembered, I've gotta read my letter to myself. And write a new one for the future me. :D

Hehe, maybe I'll do that when things settle down. Now life seems to be a bit of a chaos.

P.S. Is it ok to be an ass to people for own benefit? I don't really do that often, so feels a bit odd. But this person has been an ass to me, so he deserves it. FUck. I don't care. :P

Saturday, 5 January 2013

You Should Know This

There is this thing that I have to tell you. You really deserve to know this. However, there are obstacles. There are facts, even digits in this fragile issue. This is not a quantity, this is an issue. It concerns only me and you, and no body else. Which is why I can not tell you. I have to, but my lips are sealed. My voice is mute, I can not say a word, not to you, not about this one thing. So it is easier to avoid you all in one, it is easier to stay astray and doodle off into my own little world. It is actually better this way.

You have to know just this one thing. You deserve that. It's the least I could do to support fairness in this world. But you've betrayed me once, twice, three times.. It became too much to count. So this time, when it really is a matter of your concern, I will make an exception. I will be selfish and put myself first. It might be about you, more that one could think, but it's more so about me. It is me.

I can not tell you. You would not know how to react. You would panic even. You'd lose your head. But me, I've got a special skill to handle such issues. I'll live through it.
I want to share with just one soul, just some one, anyone really. But no one would understand. No one has the ability to understand, even you don't.
I'd tell you. I'd tell you because it would be so much easier for me. I'd tell you because you have a right to know. I'd tell you because just maybe you'd have an opinion, or a previous experience. Maybe we could put our minds together and deal with this.
Who am I kidding? You would never help me out, even if it was for your own good. I can not tell you, for it is a secret. You talk to much, and your mouth is too big. I could not deal with thinking that too many ears know my secret.

So I will keep it to myself, and not tell a single soul. Eventually everything passes, and life returns to a certain cycle. But as I deal with this, all I ask is for you to leave me alone. Leave me be, and don't you dare even ask what's wrong. Because deep down we both know that you couldn't care less about me.

This shall be the second real secret in my life that no one knows. Ever. It will never be written down. It will never be said out loud. It is something that will pass. And maybe, just maybe, I'll forget about it one day.

Tuesday, 1 January 2013

Koka Karote Azotē

Vakar nopirku koka karoti, jo accoding to Kristaps mājās nebija koka karote. Atnākot mājās es konstatēju, ka rosola bļodā ir koka karote, un ne jau tā kuru es nopirku. Man jau patīk, ka, kad Kristapam kaut ko vajag tas pekšņi ir, bet, kad man vajag, tad nekad nekas nav. Es nevaru ciest, ka cilvēki pret citiem izturās kā pret sūda gabaliem un sevi vērtē augstāk par jebko citu.

Tagad mājas ir koka karote. Ir divas.

Bet es te tā pat drīz vairs nebūšu, un savu koka karoti es ņemšu līdzi.
Pie velna viss.

Tagad skan: The xx - Fiction