My thoughts have been wandering places again, and it has led me here. I've missed you, my dear dragonfly. Lately, I've been thinking about time again. How it's fluid and solid depending on what is next saved in your google calendar. I've taken out the trash, Wednesday is long gone. I've input the October appointments. It's all so bleak. Why is time always strategically trying to screw us? What did we do to it to deserve such betrayal? It remains silent to my endless sea of questions; it just keeps ticking forward and never back.
I want to scribble my thoughts, so I have some snapshots of today's memories. I don't want them to just disappear into the nothingness that we call life. Today is my day off. These last couple of days the weather has been miserable. We had more than a fair share of summer this year, I must be honest about that. The sun was spoiling us, or was it global warming? Who knows anyway(?). I don't like to get up to too much on days off, I don't like to disappoint myself. We had a lovely date night yesterday though, yes, despite the weather being absolute shit. Any time spent together feels way better than a boatload of sun anyway. The feeling cannot be written down, it can not be expressed, not even drawn. It's beautiful at its core, heart-warming shells around it, and draped in wholesome happiness... Something like that, but waaaaay better. I can honestly say that I love that man more and more each day.
Work has been alright, dare I say it, it's actually been good. It has its challenges, and not-so-great-days, but I don't feel as bad before going to work. I don't know what it is. I bet it's all in the head, I can't let my thoughts run wild without a leash. They go to bad places. I get shit days too, when everything seems to be failing and falling into the wrong places, and just when you think that things cannot possibly go worse, life throughs a brick straight to the face. These days happen, and I think getting through them is what has created this feeling that it's better now. Is it better now, or is it just an illusion?
I miss people, I miss family and friends in Latvia, and it honestly breaks my heart. It sucks, sucks a fuckton.
Right, time to put the leash back onto these thoughts and wonder other corridors of this head of mine.
Come, take my hand and let's go for a walk in this wonderful rainfall, the flooded streets, the sun teasing avenues.
