Friday, 31 December 2010

Don't Look Back ?

Boo hoo.

It's officially the time when we should look back to yet another year that has almost run through our fingers.

Let's see where I'm at. I'm living in a student residence, and attending my first year at UWS. I'm in Scotland, Paisley, an adorable but boring town not far from nation's largest city Glasgow. Though snow surprised local people very early, late November, i'm pleased that there is no snow outside at the moment. It was quite warm yesterday, for a winter day, and according to BBC it will be around plus five today. Murr, not bad for the New Year's Eve.

I miss my friends and family dearly. And it was sad to not be with them over Christmas.

I'm feeling good though because my life has changed in the past year more than I thought it would.

Let's run back now. At the begining of the year I was still living in Canada. I had applied to universities in December and I wondered if I'd get accepted. I was very frustrated about school because of upcoming exams. However, i was pleased that the second semester would start within a month.

I don't think I ever even pictured myself at a university. Yes, of course, i had the thought, and hope that i will be, but the image in my head never reached beyond a piece of paper that would say that I'm in.

Feels so weird how much life can change in one year. I was hoping i'd be able to explain, but i can't find the right words.

So I plan on having an unforgettable last day of the year. I have a secret. You guessed it, i'm not gonna tell you.

Blah, today words are not being my friends.

So, do look back on the things that have changed. Take a bow, yet another year well played. The curtain closes and quickly the set is changed. Light and sound operators are ready, actors in places, director's palms are getting sweaty, the audience turns to quite as the room sinks into darkness. The stage crew re-open the curtain as sound operator hits PLAY - a brand new theme song is on. Light operator turns on the fifth knob to full brightness, it's a spotlight on you.
Let the play begin.

Ay, happy new year my dear imaginary friends!

P.S. I might change the title from "i'm like a dragonfly" to "i am a dragonfly."

Wednesday, 29 December 2010

6 Words

Describe what happiness means to you using just six words.

Happiness - biking when it is raining.

Monday, 27 December 2010

It's in Your Hands

Feels like my hands are growing bigger. I wash my face with water of rain. It stings. Small drops run down my face. I feel them tickling my neck and I can't help but to smile.

My arms are getting bigger - I'm able to hold my own head. Feels like an absolute mystery. Can you imagine how it is to have your own head in your hands, and have full control over it? It almost feels like a dream, like flying in clouds. And then you want to hold on, but there's nothing solid. It's the sky. So I just keep holding my own head, I can't let it fall.

It's not really a story. More like a confession you see. My arms are eager to hold the entire world. I know I'd trip and drop it on the ground. It would brake into billion pieces and I'd feel like the one who drove the earth over a cliff. I'd have an unbearable feeling of guilt. So I always choose not to take the risk.

I'm too coward.

The rain hits a pause button and my face slowly drys off, while my arms begin to shrink. And the next thing I know, there's surface beneath my feet, and no longer am I holding my head.

Why did I have to let go?

Wednesday, 15 December 2010

Kam negadās

Zinu, zinu, ka nēsmu rakstījusi katru dienu. Tā nu sanāca, ka blogi galīgi izkrita no prāta. Pat biju piemirsusi par Song of the Day blogu un četras dienas no vietas nebija jauna dziesma. Šausmas!

Bet es tiku tam pāri un tagad viss ir labi! Nē nu patiesība jau vienmēr viss ir labi, bet dažkārt ir labi to uzsvērt.

Svētdien tiku izbraukt no pilsētas. Tas bija atsvaidzinoši. Kaut ko savādāku vajadzēja. Vairāk jau tāpēc, ka "lielo" sniegu dēļ sanāca sēdēt istabā teju vai visu nedēļu, jo univeristāte taču bija slēgta.

Rit pēdējā nedēļa pirms Ziemassvētku brīvlaika. Jauki! :)

Pagājušajā nedēļā arī pirmo reizi cepu zemesrieku svieta cepumus. Sanāca ļoti gardi!!! Un biju mīļa un padalījos ar dzivokļa biedrenēm. hehe

Bučas mīlīši!

Thursday, 9 December 2010

Ļoti netīšām.

Nezin kāpēc atminējos kādu savdabīgu blēņu kuru pastrādāju 2007. gada vasarā. Pat nevaru īsti saprast kādēļ šis nedarbs atausis prātā. Visnotaļ savādi.

Tas atgadījās iepriekš minētā gada augustā, kad biju tanī dīķa pusē. Neatminos kādēļ, bet es meklēju savu dzimšanas apliecību (vai pasi). Kamēr meklēju netīšām uzodu kaut ko, ko nevajadzēja, un es pamanījos ieurbt savu degunu tā ne pa jokam. Diemžēl nedrīkstu neko stāstīt, jo nevienam tā arī neatzinos par to ko biju uzrakusi. Bet es jutos nelāgi par to, ka biju pārlieku ziņkārīga.

Tā lūk, tagad jūs zinat pusi no noslēpuma kuru nekad nevienam nebiju klāstijusi.

Rīt universitāte vaļā, bet man piektdienās lekciju ņau. Murr. Visu nedēļu sanāca gurķi laist.
Bet nu, protams, es turpinu cītīgi atbildēt uz Yahoo jautājumiem. Njā, visai skumji....

Wednesday, 8 December 2010


"Men are made of disappointment."

I still can't figure out what women are made of..

Tuesday, 7 December 2010


Well hello my dear imaginary friends. Today was a lazy day.

My uni was closed today, and it will be closed tomorrow as well. This is due to the extreme weather conditions. I'm having a great laugh at this. They get a little snow and close down almost everything. Seems so odd after living in Canada. Bad news is that i'm not sure how they expect us to hand in our essays if the university is closed. I sent an e-mail, so i hope to get things clear.

As the title of the post states, today, seventh of December, is my first blog's two year birthday!!! And, yes, i'm like a dragonfly is my first one. So happy birthday to my favourite blog. Today I was trying to remember what the title of it was when I created it, i did remember, it was "Sviesta pika". This blog has been changed around so many times that even I can't remember them all.

I can sure say that I know much, much more about blogging than I used to. In fact, two years ago I wasn't really sure what a Blog is. Hehe.

+one thing to be happy about: my blog!

Life is getting better, for now. (:

Time to sleep now!

Monday, 6 December 2010


For the past three weeks or so I've been addicted to Yahoo Answers. I can't help it. I'm enjoying answering questions knowing that I'm helping some one. It might be surprising, but I've also learned some new things. So I think it's a good addiction. Maybe not to an extreme as mine, but still.
If you do undertand anything about Yahoo Answers, I can tell you that last week I got close to six hundred points. And this week (which is just Monday) I have about one hundred fifty points, but that's also because today they give double points for answering questions (i.e. 4 points for each answer). Also, three weeks ago I had 14% best answers, today I've got 18%. Hehe.

I better get some sleep now.

Sweet dreams my dear ones.

Saturday, 4 December 2010

Tas ir izlemts

Rīt iešu uz veikalu notērēt pēdējās divas mārciņas. Pirkšu raugu un vīnogu sulu, un cerams, ka sanāks kapeika kādam balonam. Un tad es mēģināšu pagatavot alkoholisku dzērienu.

Jā, es zinu, ka atkal esmu sagājusi galīgā sviestā.

Friday, 3 December 2010

How much more?

You don't understand, you never have, and you never will.

How much more do you expect me to pretend? When will you realize that I'm not as strong as it seems? I can't always be there for everyone, I can't always be the shoulder that everyone can cry on, I can't keep drinking everyones sorrow. I've got so much in me, I want to be able to burst. I want you to see how weak I really am. How can you not see that I'm the one who needs help? I need to be able to let it all out. It's burning and it hurts, it hurts more than anything ever has.

I need you to help me to stop this pain. Please, please, open your eyes. I can't pretend to be strong forever.

Thursday, 2 December 2010


I need more sources of inspiration in my life.

Just saying.

Wednesday, 1 December 2010

Be a Monster if You Have To

I'm extremely tired due to the messed up sleep pattern that I've had this week. Most of all it's due to my constant procrastination. It's back, and I'm working hard to fight it.

December's here, and I'm feeling depressed. The snow and the cold aren't helping. I really do not understand why I'm in such a state of mind.

I have a nonstop feeling that there is something missing in my life. This too is bringing me down.

But lately I've been enjoying some music in my own kind of way. This is what I do: put on my sweatpants and my sports bra. Then I set my slippers aside, leaving my feet bare. I plug earphones in my mobile phone. The volume is turned up so that all I hear is music. And then I "dance"/workout in my room. The light is off, and it helps me to go crazy. :)
This seems to be the only source of happiness in my life at the moment. I do this for hours!

Bye now.