Nenogurt

Kā zvaigžņota lupata man virs galvas plešas debesu valstība. Es esmu aizkustināta. Ir vēss, piebrieduši krūšu gali un es viegli, jo viegli teku pār lauku. Kājas basas, rasa dzeļ pēdās, bet es tik gaisīgi nesos, gandrīz kā lidojumā. Man nav kurp skriet, nav laika, sen iztecējis, vai varbūt nekad tāds nemaz nav bijis. Es esmu vienīgā dambretes dāma - karaliene pati savā pļavā, un neviens man pāri nodarīt nevar. Es elsoju klusi, jo klusi; ir nogurums no nemitīgās dancošanas, bet es nevaru stāties. Es negribu stāties. Man uzsmaida mēness gaišā puse, vai tas ņirgājās, vai patiesi smaida, nezinu. Bet ko gan tas maina? Es esmu karaliene pati savā pļavā. Ir robežas, sēta laikam arī kaut kur ir, bet es nezinu cik tālu. Bieži šķiet, ka teku pa pļavu, kas ir apaļa kā lode, bez malām, bez gala.

This is Rubbish

This will be me ranting, consider yourself warned. 

I'm at work now.
This place is seriously starting to get on my nerves. I don't even know where to start.
I'm not sure if I've mentioned this, but I work at a hotel as a receptionist. I've been here since end of summer. The job is really fine, I have a list of responsibilities, not just one task to do over and over again. During night shifts I also have to prepare the breakfast. I also have to work in the restaurant as a waitress. And when there is no chef in, then I also have to make food for people. Now this is where the rant starts. Two people went to the restaurant, I tell them that there is no chef in, however, I can prepare something for them form the weekend menu. Now they make a face that makes me think that I've told them something so offensive that they are about to get up and walk away without saying a thing. But no, they just sit there with their... unhappy eggplant faces and unwillingly start to view the Weekend menu. Why the un-satisfaction is aimed at me? Is it my fault that the hotel is low on money? Is it my fault that they can't afford a chef for all times? Is it my fault that due to lack of clients it is inefficient to have the chef in? Yeah, I didn't think so!
Meanwhile I'm hoping they don't pick something that we don't actually have available. In a lucky case, they do pick something I have in the kitchen. Then I ask for drinks. There can be various scenarios;
1) They ask for beer, I ask what kind of beer. Many of them then ask something that they know (example, Carlsberg) - sorry, we don't have that, I can offer you some Latvian beers. - Emm, ok. - Then I usually ask if the want dark or light, and they usually don't know what they want. Other times they ask for draft beer, which is also something we don't have. Then often I bring them the first beer (the brand doesn't matter, as tastes vary from person to person), and they don't like it, and ask something different next time. And then for the third beer they go back to option one, assuming that every next beer I'd offer them would be worse and worse.
2) They ask for coffee or tea. That's not as difficult. The tea simply takes more time, as I need to boil hot water. But then there is no tea that they want. Then they say they don't want sugar, but turns out they wanted it after all, same story with milk.
3) They ask for something that I don't have (and that isn't even in the menu) - for example - fresh juice - any juice other than apple or orange - smoothies - ice cream cocktails - some other random drink.
4) They ask for spirit with something. Well, I am still not aware as to what goes in what glass. Then there is also the issue of lack of right sized glasses. I believe there is about two glasses that fit a shot with a full small glass bottle of coke in it - and they are always dirty. Same thing with G&T, I know I should pour the two together, but I don't have such a glass that fits it all!!!
5) They ask for just water, I believe that in any normal place they'd bring water for no charge, but we give the small bottles, there is 300something ml (or 400somthing, I don't care TBH), and then sometimes they are unhappy that I charge them for water.
6) Cola! Yeah, the cola problem is that about 50% of the time there is no coca cola available, because it is the most requested drink and finishes very fast once delivered. So here the question is, why not order more?? You gain more in the long run!!!
So then they pick something to eat, salad, soup or some hot dish, what ever it is, I have to go and make it for them. But wait! Who's doing my real job? Who's working at the reception, you may wonder! It's me! I'm supposed to be everywhere doing everything.
Now here is more bullshit - the reception is open 24/7, for guests that is ideal! But for us, not so much. There is a lot to do in the morning, and a lot in the evening. But middle of the night and middle of the day are usually quiet and there is nothing to do. So you sit on your ass for some hours and then you have to run like a horse for the rest of the time.
I often get comments form the guests asking/wondering how it is that I am all alone and have to do all the tasks. Well, I wonder too!

And who knows? Maybe it's time to get a new job?! I work hard, and I really try to do things well, but the thing is that nobody cares, no one seems to notice that you do so much. And the salary is an absolute joke! It's like a spit in the face. I can't imagine how I'd survive if I was living all by myself. It would be a nightmare.

Anyway, my shift is over in ten minutes. Then I'm going home for some sleep, since I've not had a normal night sleep for a week now. Oh, my colleague will be late, isn't life great?!

Fuck weekends. Fuck work. Fuck men. Fuck people. Fuck music. Fuck the sunlight. Fuck the moon and the tides. Fuck the polluted oceans. Fuck life and fuck death. Fuck all this bullshit.

I'm not satisfied with life today and everything seems to be wrong, everything makes me sad.
I don't even want to apologize for all the swearing.

--Basta.

No Boundaries

Have you ever taken a look at the world map and felt like there is virtually nothing holding you back from just picking a spot and going there? Well, things are the way they are at the moment, and I truly feel that some time this year I will be able to go to a random place on this planet Earth.
That is, of course, if everything goes as planned.
Right now I'm looking at life through the simplicity lens, and I can't say that it's bad. It isn't always easy, but in the long run it is definitely better than complicating things and assuming that everything is impossible, too complicated, or too difficult to achieve.
Life is tough, and maybe that's why it's worth living.

SONGS I

There is so much that needs to be said, there are things that are burning inside of me, and they are eager to burst, to see the light of truth. But no! I don't want to share, because not always is sharing caring. There are words, even sentences ready to be born, but I don't let them, I keep them trapped inside. All this because I know that most things are best left unsaid. It's moments like this that I want to shut down and just exist without thinking, without worry. In moments like this I stay silent even if I know it's not the right things to do.
However, when the right moment comes, the right things will be done.

It's sleeping time, but insomnia has taken over. That's why I have spent the last few hours going through songs that for some reason have been close to my heart at one or more moments in my life.
Here is  a list in no order what so ever!

Ben Howard - Promise
Mumford and Sons - Little Lion Man
David Lynch & Lykke Li - I'm Waiting Here
Example - Changed the Way You Kiss Me
Foo Fighters - The Pretender
George Thorogood - Bad To The Bone 
Wintersleep - Smoke
Wintersleep - Weighty Ghost
Wintersleep - Orca
Morgan Page feat Tegan and Sara - Body Work
Tegan and Sara - Where Does the Good Go
Tegan and Sara - Hello
R.E.M. - Leaving New York
R.E.M. - Losing My Religion 
Simon & Garfunkel - I am a Rock
Simon & Garfunkel - Sound of Silence
Simon & Garfunkel - Leaves that are Green
Simon & Garfunkel - Cecillia
Passenger - Feather on the Clyde
Passenger - Let Her Go
Jaymes Young - Northern Lights  
Nelly Furtado - All Good Things (Come To An End)
Amy Winehouse - You Know I'm No Good
Goo Goo Dolls - Iris
Willie Nelson - On the Road Again 
Rednex - Cotton Eye Joe  
Eminem feat. Rihanna - Love the Way You Lie 
Flo Rida feat. Sia - Wild Ones
Don Omar feat Lucenzo - Danza Kuduro
Pitbull feat Chris Brown - International Love
Marc Anthony - You Sang to Me
Peter Gabriel - My Body is a Cage
King Charles - Mississippi Isabel
The Beatles - Yellow Submarine
The Coral - Dreaming of You 
Ylvis - The Fox (What Does the Fox Say?)
VAST - Pretty When You Cry
Gary Jules - Mad World
Passion Pit - Sleepyhead
Lenka - The Show
Placebo - Pure Morning
Katzenjammer - Tea With Cinnamon
Katzenjammer - Le Pop
Auburn - Perfect Two
Juanes - La Camisa Negra
Cyndi Lauper - Fearless 
3 Doors Down - Kryptonite
Eagle Eye Cherry - Save Tonight
Ricky Marin - Livin' la Vida Loca 
Rihanna - Unfaithful
Rihanna - Man Down 
Eminem feat Nate Dogg - Till I Collapse
Eminem - Lose Yourself
Kanye West - Homecoming
Kanye West - Heartless 
Nine Horses - Wonderful World
Nine Horses - The Banality of Evil
Billy Joel - Piano Man  
Sting - Shape of my Heart
Stevie Wonder & Paul McCartney - Ebony and Ivory
Jona Lewie - You'll Aways Find Me in The Kitchen at Parties
Gregory and Hawk - Oats We Sow
Yolanda Be Cool - We no Speak Americano
Men at Work - Down Under
The xx - Friction
The xx - Crystalized
Bob Marley - Buffalo Soldier
FUN - We Are Young
P!nk feat. Nate Ruess - Just Give Me a Reason
P!nk - Try
The Kelly Family - Flip a Coin
Tiziano Ferro - Rosso Relativo
Michel Teló - Ai Se Eu Te Pego
Swedish House Mafia - Don't You Worry Child 
Zucchero feat. Ronan Keating - Il Volo (The Flight)
The White Stripes - Seven Nation Army
Lighthouse Family - High
Soul Asylum - Runaway Train
Coldplay - Fix You
Gotye feat. Kimbra - Somebody That I Used To Know





Le LIST goes on and on, but now I really have to get going.

There is no Right Answer to All the Questions

Rīga 2013

 

"Nepūt pīlītes"

My new header picture on Twitter

 Cēsis, Nov 2013

 Tērbatas, Rīga, 2013 Autumn

Lisbon, Feb 2014

How?

Why bother with love
when there are so many broken hearts?
It makes no sense,
and it makes me question life.

It makes me wonder why humans are so weak,
why are we mortals so fragile?
We melt like sugar,
and we break like a thin pieces of glass.

We are so full and empty all at the same time.
We have a gift - life, and then we ride through it.
We break at the moments when we have to stay strong.
We give up and forget.

Us, humans, we forget the important thing.
At times we hide away from the truth,
we cry and we let it all out.
Or we trap it all inside of us.

When there is no certainty on our planet,
how can we know;
how can we know
that it's right to go on?

It's March!

Well, well, well.

Time sure flies. So many things have been going on, I don't even know where to start.
First, last month my first niece was born (after four nephews you'd think it's about time!), and that has been on top of my happy list lately.
I also begun my driving theory classes, so far they've not been awesome. I am learning things, but the dude teaching me and le group is some old fart who has zero faith in young people and he thinks that Latvia's current president is the only decent president he's seen in office ever. (To put in in a perspective, the current president has the worst rating off all the presidents we have had.)
But lucky for me that I study from books, and it's basically just memorizing so I don't really have to give a damn about what he says or doesn't say. Just have to be at the class twice a week.
Later this month I'll be going to Portugal again! I can't wait. I am so excited, I just want to make flips like a small puppy, but then I realize that I can't do that.
My friend has moved into a flat, and her boyfriend has arrived, and to be honest I am jealous of her. But she knows it. :D
And I have a job interview next week, and I am so worried, but it's good that I've not quit my current job, so I don't have to panic too much.
Life is moving forward at a speed that I can't really follow along to, just keep playing catch-up with it. I've also been sick for two weeks or so. Bad cough, had high temperature and the past two days my head just keeps aching. Oh well.

Work has become really dull. I'm at work now and I seriously can't be bothered to do much. Blah! Have to reply to yet another complaint, people are just ridiculous!


Also winter was gone all February, ha, I've even forgotten what snow feels like. Winter was gone before it actually got here. The migratory birds have started to come back. The pussy willow has begun to bloom. The sun leaves later and comes right back up around the time I get up from my sleep. The lights in the city dim off soon in the morning. People seem to ditch their warm coats, hats and mittens. I guess spring is here.