Saturday 31 December 2011

Different

It's yet another last day of YET another year. I hope it's the best one for all of us, me, you and everybody else. I hope it feels like a never ending firework. I hope it's like a constant orgasm. I wish you that every single day goes by with the thought that it was the best day so far. May all your dearest wishes come true. I really wish for world peace, so that we all live in harmony and accept each other just the way we are. I hope I learn to be more welcome, and more patient. I hope only good things will happen. And if anything bad does happen, we should take the best of it and add it to life experiences. I want 2012 to be different than any other year. I want to do things that I haven't done, and make it memoriable. Truly, may it be the best so far!

Friday 30 December 2011

Nu nav jau labākā kompānija.

Vēl līdz šim brīdim neesmu līdz galam izdomājusi ko darīšu vecgada vakarā. Bet tas tak būs jau rīt.

Man ir uznācis kapitāls besis. Ir brīži, kad sirsniņa sitās strauji un ir "labais papīrs," bet lielākoties pavadu laiku domājot par visādām ģēlām. Vispār esmu nogurusi. Ir fizisks un morāls nogurums. Gribas mājās.
Neh, vienkārši gribas kaut kur citur. Pēdējo pāris nedēļu laikā esmu apskatījusi vairākas potenciālas jaunas dzīves vietas te pat Glāzgovā, bet pati neesmu nemaz pārliecināta vai gribu te palikt.

Jāpadomā!


Cik gan ilgi es mocīšu sevi ar to domāšanu?

Thursday 29 December 2011

Draugs vai ienaidnieks?

Izlasīju citātu twitterī, ka tavu ienaidnieku ienaidnieki esot tavi draugi. Tas tā visai absurdi izklausās, bet tādas lietais jau bij iepriekš lasītas un dzirdētas. 'Bunga' tāda, ka man ienaidnieku nav, bet, protams, draugi gan man ir. Un tomēr, varbūt, ka nav, kas to maz var vairi saprast. Pēdējo dienu laikā esmu visai apmulsusi par pilnīgi visu. Galvā jau atkal noris nebeidzamu domu vētra. Jau atkal esmu pārtapusi par pastulbu pesimistu.

Indulis, Dzintars, Daiga, Bunģis, Gundars, Gaida..... Ko vairs maz var saprast?

Gribu kaut kur doties, tālu prom, sākt visu no gala. Man patīk būvēt jaunas domino rindas, lai tās nogāztu...tad atkal būvēt jaunas. Katru reizi citā vietā. Vispār nē, negribu visu sākt no jauna; tas jau būtu tikai turpinājums.

Tas būtu tikai turpinājums.

Galvenais nevajag pieturēties pie ierastā; bieži sanāk daudz domāt bet maz darīt. Jāmācās darīt lietas otrādi, vismaz vairāk tiek padarīts.

Tuesday 27 December 2011

Mana devīze.

Man nav devīzes, un man nav kauna. Mana dvēsele ir sadedzināta sārtā - tā redzēja vairāk kā ļauts. Mēs nododam viens otru, un tā pat meklējam vainīgo. Mēs meklējam naudu netīros seifos. Tiek galēti nevainīgie vārguļi. Nav zināms mājupceļš no stacijas. Nav mājas. No stacijas dodamies uz nākamo ostu, uz nākamo pieturu. Nedomājam par sekām. Nevar tikt sveikā ar vienīgo alibi, jo draugs nodod draugu. Nosūtītas vairākas vēstules svešiniekiem. Tukšas vēstules, lai nav jābrīnās, ka atbildes nav.

Izgāžamies klasisko triku priekšnesumos. Braucam ar smalkiem auto. Pa dienu lasām kriminālromānus, bet naktīs klausāmies nebeidzamus mūzikas ritmus, skatāmies Hičkoka filmas, mācamies jaunu cīņas mākslu.. un dzeram līdz rītausmai.

Man nav kauna, jo to man nozaga tie, kurus kādreiz devēju par draugiem.

Saturday 17 December 2011

le Weekend

Yesterday was the Christmas night out. The bosses of our workplace had invited all of us to a dinner and a free bar evening. First of all, not many people showed up, that was a disappointment. The food was not well prepared. The main course lacked seasoning and was cold, but the dessert was much too sweet. The starter, though, was prepared very well, and tasted nice.
The free bar was limited to main menue drinks, and our boss shut down this part of the event at eleven o'clock due to the already high bill. How great is that? At around midnight me and my friend left, had a few drinks at my place, and that was the end of the story.

Today i must buy two important postcards. Then i might go view another room (you know, me moving and all..).
In the evening i sort of have a date, but i'm gonna cancel it anyway. :D

Work tomorrow, and then Latvian poker final table at 19:00 (i'm definatelly gonna be late, since sundays are always busy at work).


Happy go lucky....

Sunday 11 December 2011

Edit

"I want to move. It's more like I have to move. The only queation is: To Where?

Now, i'm no fool, and nor do I take you for a fool; there are several options:

Option one, of course, is to not move, i.e. stay in the same flat where I live right now.

Option two is to stay in Glasgow, but to move in with different people and somewhere closer to city center.

Option three is to move elsewhere in Scotland. Maybe more to the East, not quite as far as Edinburgh, but that direction.

Option four is to move down to England.

Option five - move to a new country. If I do choose this option, then I'd probably choose Spain.

Option six is that I move back to Latvia.

Option seven does not exist, yet...


Now, if I am to move, it will not happen in the next few days...not this year that is.



So there, I said it. One more post where I'm legitly telling the truth. Love me."



Jā, iespēja palikt šajā dzīvoklī tiek kategoriski izslēgta, jo nevaru vairs sadzīvot ar Kristapu un Miku. Esmu nosolījusies sev, ka vēlākais līdz Februāra beigām vairs šajā dzīvoklī nedzīvošu. Puiši vienkārši vairs nav izturami!

Monday 5 December 2011

Move

I want to move. It's more like I have to move. The only queation is: To Where?

Now, i'm no fool, and nor do I take you for a fool; there are several options:

Option one, of course, is to not move, i.e. stay in the same flat where I live right now.

Option two is to stay in Glasgow, but to move in with different people and somewhere closer to city center.

Option three is to move elsewhere in Scotland. Maybe more to the East, not quite as far as Edinburgh, but that direction.

Option four is to move down to England.

Option five - move to a new country. If I do choose this option, then I'd probably choose Spain.

Option six is that I move back to Latvia.

Option seven does not exist, yet...


Now, if I am to move, it will not happen in the next few days...not this year that is.



So there, I said it. One more post where I'm legitly telling the truth. Love me.

Saturday 3 December 2011

Friday 2 December 2011

Gone for Good

Is it possible to change everything? Just for the night i'd want to be with you, there in your arms. We could pretend that there is no sky. We'd switch off the gravity. We'd fall in love like Romeo and Juliet. We could turn all the clocks sideways so they'd get confused. And so we'd gain more of the precious time. How about we forget the past for a second. What's gone is gone for good; i'd never want that back. But truth be truth: i miss you. No, i simply miss you when you were at your best.
Remember how we danced in the rain. Do you remember how nor the time nor the place mattered, as long as we had each other, we were good for the day. Do you remember talking to strangers like they were our pals. Do you know why it was so? We really were strangers to each other. I loved jumping into other cultures with you, it was great to experience all that with someone who was more than a friend. Do you remember how i refused to hold your hand. It must have pissed you off. My temperament is too hot for you, you couldn't handle me.

Do you remember turning off the lights?

Does any of that ring bells?

How about walking home together and singing odd songs that we both knew by heart. Do you remember how we yelled at each other at the bus stop? Do you even remember what we were fighting for?
I don't..

Do you remember holding my hand while others weren't watching? We got caught, you weren't careful enough. But i know why, i really do. I recall you telling me things that you said no other soul knows. I know you opened up. And even though there was nothing there..not even a second worth remembering, i'd like to spend this one timeless second with you.

You see, we used to dance to sweet music. We always kissed like stars were upon our heads. We lied to each other several times... And once you even said that you loved me.