Gym

Life keeps changing around me. There are some things that remain constant, however, there are also things that don't stop changing. I keep changing in ways I never thought possible, outlook on life keeps changing as well.

You know how there is people who talk a lot about doing something. Well I'm one of them. But in some ways I've finally begun actually doing stuff. I should't get too excited though, since there still are many plans that I have not completed yet, for instance, letter for future me, or finishing reading this book I started several months ago. What I am saying is that there is still a lot of place for improvement, and I know I am getting there.

So here is my gym story. I finally joined a gym, that happened on the 28th of February (the day my third nephew was born (: ). And I've been attending the gym not less than four times a week for seven weeks now (for those who are looking at the logistics, the first week was before I even joined, went there on a guest pass). I love it there! Keeps me out of the flat, keeps me feeling good. Soon after joining I started to go to Zumba classes on Tuesday mornings. And now I'll start to go more often in the mornings. Doing some cardio in the morning is a great way to start the day. I go to many other classes too, my favourite is Body Attack. Plus I've also begun to eat breakfast on a daily basis. I've built some muscles that I never knew I had. I feel stronger. 

I've met a guy there at the gym, and he asked me out. But I can't seem to care to reply to the last text message. He asked me out despite the fact that I told him about my plans of moving soon. He is nice, smart even (a rare bread!), but I don't like where it's going. So I don't know if I'll get back to him. I'll see him at the gym when his tattoo heals, and it will be awkward at first, but I'll get over it. 

My brother is here for four weeks now. He's not found a job yet, and is starting to annoy me a lot. I know I could be more supportive, but the way his first two weeks went here, I just can't be bothered. He has to try harder, but he is not doing anything. This morning my flatmate was asking him if I'm at work, and he replied not yet. I was raging! He sits about the house all fuckin day, and I am home one day in I have no idea how long. He still hasn't fucking learned that I'm off every Saturday. I know it's a little thing, but all this shit is piling up, and I keep it in, because I know he is my bro and I can't be a bitch. I wish he was actually looking for a job. FUCK!!! He's not doing anything. How does he not understand that I can't fucking keep supporting him? 

 

Motivation as My Pet

Life changes. Ideas are born, and soon they die. What makes an idea sustainable? What is it that some ideas remain with the root in my mind, and then they never leave? How do they manage to stay there? I can't find anything that the few things have in common. What is it, that despite my laziness and procrastination some ideas just continue to flicker until they are realized. How is it that there really are things that I simply refuse to give up on, while there are other all sorts of thoughts going through my mind; bigger and smaller ones. How do I manage to not give up every time? Where do I find this mysterious strength, where is it created, and hoe does it breed. I need some of that food, the one that feeds creativity and motivation. What is it that makes the good things grow?

Now Playing: Foo Fighters - The Pretender

(yeah, just like the olden days...:/ ugh, memories)

Here's a small recap of my weekend that was nothing like me. Or was it. I don't even know who I am. But I like the part of me that gets out every now and then. Friday we got off work at decent time for once in a long time. I went home, and was well rested when I headed early to city center to meet my friend (aka mīļums). We had a few drinks here and there, and soon enough I was quite drunk. Therefore cheeky enough to send a text message to a certain someone. Because I had to write something that the guy HAD to reply to, I wrote something very brave (to say the least). Never the less the time flew by fast, and there were several cute guys at the last pub that we visited that evening. And, well, then later I met the certain someone. I had slept two hours that night. Then Saturday I went to a gym with one of my colleague. She had arranged for me to enjoy the gym as a guest. Spent about three hours at the gym; great warm up, toning up some muscles, and then we went for a swim. After that we went to a noodle place for lunch. Then I biked back home for a well deserved sleep. All in all it was a great day. Then work today, which was, of course not the best day (cuz my job sucks, big time). But Friday and Saturday went well, so that counts as having a good weekend. With the exception that I have understood that at times I'm a terrible person, big time.

Be a Monster if You Have To

I'm extremely tired due to the messed up sleep pattern that I've had this week. Most of all it's due to my constant procrastination. It's back, and I'm working hard to fight it.

December's here, and I'm feeling depressed. The snow and the cold aren't helping. I really do not understand why I'm in such a state of mind.

I have a nonstop feeling that there is something missing in my life. This too is bringing me down.

But lately I've been enjoying some music in my own kind of way. This is what I do: put on my sweatpants and my sports bra. Then I set my slippers aside, leaving my feet bare. I plug earphones in my mobile phone. The volume is turned up so that all I hear is music. And then I "dance"/workout in my room. The light is off, and it helps me to go crazy. :)
This seems to be the only source of happiness in my life at the moment. I do this for hours!

Bye now.