Friday, 7 September 2012


How about You give me the capital strength to travel far, far away. I don't need your money, I don't need your gifts. Just encourage me to go further than the sea. Further than the borders that I've laid out for myself. Give me the things I am unable to create myself. Give me motivation. Give me some kind of strength. I don't mean physical, I can torture myself to build up physical strength. But emotionally I'm a wreck, there is so little happiness, so little joy of life in me. It's like all I do is for some kind of other side of. For the small part of me that wishes life was different. I go places just for her. Sometimes I leave for some days so she can feel how it is to be alive. I hate that the small part of me that is human has to be trapped inside the depressing mind of mine. I deserve better; she deserves better. So just give me a small push, a tiny encouragement to go further.

Am I really asking for more than I deserve?

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