There is this vast abundance of sadness. It's overwhelming; it has filled my soul, overflowing and taking over my life. I can no longer function, even on autopilot; I exist no more.
I can taste the pain on every cell of my tongue. It tastes like blood gushing so fast that I'm drowning in it. I don't know what happiness feels like anymore. I don't want to know what happiness feels like anymore. An undiscriminating numbness has set in. I have lost what I once used to be.
This sadness tastes so bitter of lies and distrust. It's sour like a funny-smelling milk, not funny like a comedy. Funny, like the joke my life has been these years. It leaves my eyes in tears, my jaw in trismus, my palms in fists.
It feels like burnt lips and a bitten tongue. It feels like sharp pain, like sharp needles hitting every nerve in my body. It feels like despair. It tastes like despair. It is gruesome, it is chilling, it is earth-shattering sadness and pain.
Isn't it ironic how someone you used to love more than yourself can hurt you more than you could ever think to hurt another human being? Isn't it ironic how such love and loyalty can be faced with deceit, lies and duplicity?
This is how love moulds into hate and remorse.
