Saturday 13 February 2010

Bang Bang..

Maniac, i say maniac. You are the maniac of my life. You sit inside me and don't let me go. You control me as a captain controlling its own Titanic. We all are doomed to fail sooner or later. Why delay these thing? But there you are keeping me away from extinction and following the so called common sense.
All i need is to get away. Away from days, go and live only at night. Live with a lower life and breed of of drugs and alcohol. But you say no, you keep my head cool when all i can think of is going underground. You keep me down on earth on nights and days when i just want to fly in the clouds. You order me to do things i don't want to do. You scream like a raped child in my head, you never let me free.


Yesterday got home at around half past three. I was walking and the cold just hit my face. Slap by slap. It was numb, i didn't feel a thing. The skirt was still cheating on guys, one by one, but all i cared was that i had to walk. Just walk. Never did i mention the destination in my mind. Even the other me kept out of this. She had been yelling at me all night, so it was time for everyone to shut up. I got home, colder then ice and crawled into my bed the blanket was at my feet. I was so cold and yet i relied on myself to regain the warmth. I couldn't fall asleep. Thoughts kept waking me up. And in total i had slept four hours with more then ten times waking up during this so called sleep time. The other me tried to keep me in the bed, so i could get some more sleep. But my body needed to move. I finally changed and tried my best to get out of the bed with the right leg. A fail. My head is still dizzy and i am rethinking so many things in my head.

I'm am beginning to be even more careless.
Never did i know that that was possible.

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