Till I Collapse

I'm short of breath. Something terrible has happened and I don't know how to deal with this. I am 100% to be blamed. But I simply can't wrap my head around this. I do not know how to pass this forward. I don't know what comes now? What happens now?
Life seemed so great! Just .. most things were going well. But now .. now, there is no now.

Till I collapse. I've collapsed. I am so happy for my next weeks adventure. But I don't deserve it. I really don't. What now? I can't not take this trip, because that's not fair to others. But taking this trip is not fair to me, because I don't deserve this. I deserve nothing and I am a terrible person. I have no heart. I do, but I don't.

What now?
How do I tell the truth?
What happens now???

God damn, I feel dizzy, all the thoughts are overwhelming. My head is spinning!
What's the right thing to do?
There is no good way to do bad things.
And yet, they have to be done.

Please.
Stop.

Now Playing:  Eminem feat. Nate Dogg - Till I Collapse