"Wonderful World"

This song pretty much explains how i see the world, not all of it, but some lines are spot on.

Now Playing: Nine Horses - Wonderful World

WONDERFUL WORLD

It’s a wonderful world

And you take and you give

And the sun fills the sky

In the space where you live

It’s a day full of dreams

It’s a dream of a day

And the joy that it brings

Nearly sweeps her away

It’s a wonderful world

As the buildings fall down

And you quicken your step

‘til your feet leave the ground

And you’re soaring above

All the sorrow below

And you’re falling in love

With those you don’t know

And your heart feels so wide

And your heart fills so strong

It was never a place

That you felt you belonged

It’s a wonderful world

Full of wonderful things

And the people fall down

And abandon their dreams

(I hear him, he’s talking out loud

Sometimes he whistles while walking

How could he know any better?

I weep for him, I weep for him now)

It’s a wonderful world

It’s a real crying shame

Cos she’s hurting herself

In a violent way

And there’s people she knows

That won’t even try

And they’re trapped in their lives

Feeling terrified

And it’s in times like these

That she promised to call

But the scale of our love 

Is diminished and small

It’s a wonderful world

And she doesn’t know why

She wakes up each day

And continues to cry

(He’s sleeping his troubles away

He’s finding it too hard to bear

I’m with him every step of the way

I weep for him, I weep for him now)

It’s a wonderful world

And you take and you give

And the sun fills the sky

In the space where you live

Gym

Life keeps changing around me. There are some things that remain constant, however, there are also things that don't stop changing. I keep changing in ways I never thought possible, outlook on life keeps changing as well.

You know how there is people who talk a lot about doing something. Well I'm one of them. But in some ways I've finally begun actually doing stuff. I should't get too excited though, since there still are many plans that I have not completed yet, for instance, letter for future me, or finishing reading this book I started several months ago. What I am saying is that there is still a lot of place for improvement, and I know I am getting there.

So here is my gym story. I finally joined a gym, that happened on the 28th of February (the day my third nephew was born (: ). And I've been attending the gym not less than four times a week for seven weeks now (for those who are looking at the logistics, the first week was before I even joined, went there on a guest pass). I love it there! Keeps me out of the flat, keeps me feeling good. Soon after joining I started to go to Zumba classes on Tuesday mornings. And now I'll start to go more often in the mornings. Doing some cardio in the morning is a great way to start the day. I go to many other classes too, my favourite is Body Attack. Plus I've also begun to eat breakfast on a daily basis. I've built some muscles that I never knew I had. I feel stronger. 

I've met a guy there at the gym, and he asked me out. But I can't seem to care to reply to the last text message. He asked me out despite the fact that I told him about my plans of moving soon. He is nice, smart even (a rare bread!), but I don't like where it's going. So I don't know if I'll get back to him. I'll see him at the gym when his tattoo heals, and it will be awkward at first, but I'll get over it. 

My brother is here for four weeks now. He's not found a job yet, and is starting to annoy me a lot. I know I could be more supportive, but the way his first two weeks went here, I just can't be bothered. He has to try harder, but he is not doing anything. This morning my flatmate was asking him if I'm at work, and he replied not yet. I was raging! He sits about the house all fuckin day, and I am home one day in I have no idea how long. He still hasn't fucking learned that I'm off every Saturday. I know it's a little thing, but all this shit is piling up, and I keep it in, because I know he is my bro and I can't be a bitch. I wish he was actually looking for a job. FUCK!!! He's not doing anything. How does he not understand that I can't fucking keep supporting him? 

 

The Cute Guy

The cute guy at the gym started up a conversation

Feeling

What is a feeling? I've never really understood what it meant when someone says: "I've got feelings for you." Well, so do I, but what kind of feelings? I don't know. I can feel cold, warm, scared, tired. But what is it like to feel love for another being that is not your family? How is it possible to have any feelings towards someone? I don't get it. This is so confusing. What is love?

How is it possible to have feelings for someone you don't care about? How can you suddenly care of this one person when before there was nothing to care about? Why is this so confusing?

Now Playing: Tegan and Sara - Hello

Right now I feel so empty,

And someday won’t be ending,

Until I’ve done all that I can,

All that.

Until I’ve done all that I can.

One day, it’ll get easier,

'Cause right now,

I feel so simple,

Until I’ve done all that I can,

All that.

Until I’ve done all that I can.

And so I said, "Hello hello hello, I’m right here."

Oh, hello hello hello,

I’m right here.

I’m right here waiting for...

Drinking to yesterdays news.

I’m sorry I was late, I was so blue.

Oh, my hands hurt from holding your hands.

And I’m young but it’s hard to believe, yeah-e-ah,

That someday I will never see you again.

And you might not believe this,

But you’ve changed me so much.

But baby (baby) it’s so hard leaving you.

And maybe (maybe) this was the only, the only way.

Yeah, yeah. 

But right now I wish I was older,

And right now,

You look so simple.

Now is not my time.

No, no,

Now is not the time,

And so I said, "Hello hello hello, I’m right here."

I said, "Hello hello hello, I’m right here."

I'm right here waiting for...

Drinking to yesterday’s news.

I’m sorry I was late, I was so blue.

Oh, my hand hurts from holding your hand.

And I’m young but it’s hard to believe,

Yeah-e-ah,

That someday I will never see you again.

And you might not believe this ,

but you’ve changed me so much.

But baby (baby), it’s so hard leaving you.

And maybe (maybe) this was the only, the only way.

Yeah, yeah.

But baby (baby), it’s so hard leaving you.

And maybe (maybe) this was the only, the only way.

Yeah, yeah.

But baby (baby), it’s so hard leaving you.

And maybe (maybe) this was the only, the only way.

Yeah, yeah.

'Cause someday I will never see you again.

I think love doesn't simply appear out of nowhere.

There is no love at first sight.

It's probably lust, a spark, maybe, but it isn't love.

Love grows, from a small seed it grows into a tree.

It's an odd tree, it requires nurture or just good laughs. 

It's complex, every tree is so very different.

But the bigger any tree grows, the tougher it is to cut it down.

Happy Much?

Life is getting to be more compete. I have set some sort of goals. While i might still not know what i want out of life, i can say I'm happy for now, I've gained a perspective on life. I've formed a personality of my own. And more and more my carelessness of other's opinion grows in size. I have faith in me and my future, no matter what it brings.

I'm very proud of myself that i can say that I'm happy and truly believe it. I've been let down by others and myself. But it seems that all the faith I've had in humanity has turned to faith in myself. This planet might still be doomed, but at least I'm happy. And you can be judgemental all you like.. i could not care less for what you have to say about me.

I feel like a melody, i feel like a weightless leaf that's falling from the highest branch of the tallest tree. It's windy and i could end up anywhere. That's how i see myself in life. And as long as I'm as happy as i am now, i will not mind landing even in a puddle. I love puddles.

Life now is a neat 7!

Happy

http://i.behappy.me/67/preview.png

This picture has a significance to me. This image is now my background image on my phone.

What the heck, I might just break the news to you: I AM HAPPY.
Yeah, I can say it out loud, I scream it out! I really am happy. All those things I've known, learned, studied, read about...all that material I've laid my eyes on about how to be happy has finally sunk in. It is here, right here in my mind, and now I am using all the tools I have. Not all the tools, because not everything I know is relevant. But now instead of thinking how to be happy, or why to be happy. I just simply tell myself that that is how I feel. What is even more odd is that in my head I don't say You have to do this and this, or this is what you should have said. Instead, I simply think to myself I am happy, I will do this and that. This change has been happening over the past month or so, not more than that. I've reprogrammed my mind in the last three weeks. I am the same me, but yet I am much, much different. I am happy!

And I can't stop smiling now that I'm writing this post.
This feels odd.
This feels great!!

"This ain't a scene"

Life just keeps flipping around .. every day.
So now I have, what I'd like to call a "pet". Yup, that's definitely what I would call it. As of yesterday Kristaps is living with me. I'm here just trying to be a good friend. But i feel like i'm making the wrong choice.  Eh, what the heck. OMG i just wanna like emm, idk . this sucks. oaefguhjjqrykut6lie39i7mjyehfbgdv