Life Just Goes On

Lately i have been trying my best to find the most appealing Template for my blog. So far i have found nothing that would make my heart race faster then of those who are in love. But this one was pretty close, so i have decided to quit searching. For now. Maybe i will sometime else, but now i am just tired of the templates stuff. I like that this one kinda smiles at You when You open my blog. And at the same time it is a little sad, since the majority of the blog is black. I think it is too black, but the top part (the place where title is) is so pretty that it is worth to keep this one. At least for a while. Also, i have been going crazy "Dropping" on blogs. Do You see on the very right column at the top there is a featured blog? Well it is this add campaign thing, You put the widget on Your blog advertise your blog elsewhere and get more traffic and more followers. I am not REALLY sure why i'm willing to put much work in to just advertising this blog. I say it is because i like it too much and i want more and more people who might be reading the jazz that i right.

Today had a field trip to a universities lab. Chemistry, all Chemistry. We did a laboratory work something about iron concentration in a Pro Lab! Was pretty cool, since i don't plan to study chemestry once i graduate it was once a lifetime experience. Once the lab was done we had an hour for lunch and after that we went to an auditorium with university's first year chemistry student and listened to one lecture. This was the first out of five about acids and bases, don't mean to insult anyone, but it was all grade 11 review for all of us. So that part of the field trip was not exciting. Not at all.

Then i got home and never received a call from Mrs. B (I call him Visvaris, not important why). The conclusion is that i hope i shall never see either of them ever again. Yup! As i said after last saturday, i was happy the way it was, even with them not contacting me. Btw, i kinda hate how much males fale at communication. It kinda brings me down, but i don't let it, so i'm alright!
(And, just to let You know, i met A yesterday, a complete disaster, with a hint of the worst seasoning there is, and Bull Shit as a side dish.)

As well as wanted to let You know that my TTT (Tavas Tintes Traips) blog has been renamed, now it is "Growing Words", but knowing me, it might be changing. I really love the blog description line: "·¼ of my life·". And even though it is no more TTT, i will still be calling it TTT, since that is the Label that i used for it and i just like it! ;P

School tomorrow. Friday is PD (professional development), a day when only teachers have to go to school and learn new ways, strategies, tips in teaching, while we (students) have a day off! I am not complaining about that! School is just not for me, not any more!

I really want to be "Outta Here" [here being my school].

Kisses. Wet and ugly, and yet filled with all the love i can possibly give right now.

Promise(?)

Why do some people promise, but never keep what they have said?

My mind is blank, and so is my life. I don't know where i am heading, but i know for sure that where ever i end up it will not be the place where i want to be.

At this point my life is pretty much screwed up more then You (or me myself) can imagine, comprehend... Impossible. And even though i have come to some kind of epiphany, it is too late.
About two weeks too late.

It was painful, i cried. I hadn't done that miserable thing for too long, so the strangeness of this activity made more pain (and disappointment). I felt pathetic, more then other days. I was a step away from begging, but i just didn't have the power. So now i have nothing, just the impossible dream that i will never have to face any of this again. (Though i know that the whole things still needs to be done.)
I just don't have the strength.

And it is not only school.

As i mentioned already at the beginning, he PROMISED that he would call, but didn't. It is the second time. I don't have the nerves to think about him any longer.

And the other fella. Oh, thats a funnier story, he "threw the ball in my court", it was with me for two nights and when i finally decided to call him and give it another shot. He didn't pick up. So he got the "ball" right back. Bastard. Why did he ask me to think about it and then not answer the phone?

I hope neither of them will try to contact me. No more. I need something that has more potential since i have none. I need to feed off of someone. Like a carnivore on a fresh capture.

Meanwhile i shall shrink to the size of an unlucky, sad, miserable being that can hardly remember to breath.