"I'll Miss You! ♥"

I'm too lazy to search for a quotation that would say something about time, but You can just imagine I have a quotation here to start of my today's writing. I do realize that I have been writing about time too much, but it is something that I don't get enough of. Alright, instead of writing a quotation about time, I can insert a quotation about friendship. Ok? Sounds better already, doesn't it?

It takes a long time to grow an old friend.
/John Leonard/

I'm leaving the following Thursday. I am happy because I will see my friends and relatives in Latvia, but I am sad because I have to say goodbye to all my friends here. I still can not swallow the fact that I will most likely never see my Canada friends ever again. I can not imagine a day when I would want to chill with them and would not be able to meet up in a few hours. I can't believe there will no more be drunken nights with tons of booze and ridiculous conversations that somehow end up involving my boobs (don't ask :D) or other just as random topic. I refuse to accept that there will no more be emotional dramas and fake meanassness, lateness and evil prank calls, and other even more unforgivable actions. I simply can't imagine not tweeting about how I feel when with them. So there will no more be greedy eye glazes, and fighting about things I should be thankful existed. No more dancing at clubs where all you hear is the TOP 50 chart songs and so are able to sing along to every song, no scratch that, yell along to every song. There will not be any "mystery guests" at parties, and no more dares like making a girl turn on a gay guy. There will never be a group of people who comprehend jewish and black, and communist jokes on the level that we do,  nor will there be any new retarded inside jokes (I guess this is where the boob thing comes in).

This is THE END to an era, but as the old times go, new ones are about to unfold. And even though it is extremely sad to leave everything behind and move on, I am looking forward to the future.

But for now, let's forget about the past or the future. I adore this moment and there is no way I will give it away. so... LET'S LIVE IT UP!!

bird's song

Overwhelmed with the new ideas that had been just born that night i was lost. Lost once again in my thoughts. I pulled myself under my blanket with my eyes never moving away from the screen of the phone. I was waiting. Though i new that it was way to late for any sane person to be sending text messages. I still hoped. At first i even had a thought that i should text him, but no, i couldn't. No matter how much i wanted to contact him i refused to bring myself that low. That is just not how i function. It would be like a robbing a police station.
Could not sleep all night. Woke up with a cheap look at my phone. Nothing. Why could i just stop hoping? Who cares? Do i care? I suppose i do. I needed someone there to take the phone away from me, at least for a second.

I need a plan for next weekend for every minute. Ok, not minute, but every hour! So far it is pretty full. Except for saturday night. Let's go clubbing!



On another note.
I cleaned up my facebook applications. I deleted 241 applications from my list!! Yes, 241! Now i have just 16 out of which 7 are the ones you can't delete. So that is pretty good! ;D
I am very tired.

Good night my loves.

A very gorgeous and calm song: Gregory and the Hawk - Oats we Sow

Bang Bang..

Maniac, i say maniac. You are the maniac of my life. You sit inside me and don't let me go. You control me as a captain controlling its own Titanic. We all are doomed to fail sooner or later. Why delay these thing? But there you are keeping me away from extinction and following the so called common sense.
All i need is to get away. Away from days, go and live only at night. Live with a lower life and breed of of drugs and alcohol. But you say no, you keep my head cool when all i can think of is going underground. You keep me down on earth on nights and days when i just want to fly in the clouds. You order me to do things i don't want to do. You scream like a raped child in my head, you never let me free.


Yesterday got home at around half past three. I was walking and the cold just hit my face. Slap by slap. It was numb, i didn't feel a thing. The skirt was still cheating on guys, one by one, but all i cared was that i had to walk. Just walk. Never did i mention the destination in my mind. Even the other me kept out of this. She had been yelling at me all night, so it was time for everyone to shut up. I got home, colder then ice and crawled into my bed the blanket was at my feet. I was so cold and yet i relied on myself to regain the warmth. I couldn't fall asleep. Thoughts kept waking me up. And in total i had slept four hours with more then ten times waking up during this so called sleep time. The other me tried to keep me in the bed, so i could get some more sleep. But my body needed to move. I finally changed and tried my best to get out of the bed with the right leg. A fail. My head is still dizzy and i am rethinking so many things in my head.

I'm am beginning to be even more careless.
Never did i know that that was possible.

Song: Bang Bang by Nancy Sinatra

Craft of Writing

Hi my LOVES! I missed You more then a mother has ever missed her child. Really. Missed in the literal meaning and i can't express the layers of happiness over my heart.

Life is OK. I guess. Have two important things to catch up on: Letters!!!! and Ottawa Youth For change meetings and volunteering. Have done nothing about that lately so i have to catch up on stuff since the events are approaching fast. And i have a LIST of people who i own letters, messages and e-mails to.. so i really hope they can be a moment more patient.

A few days ago i started to write a post about my last exam and about a movie i saw: AVATAR! Everyone is screaming about it! Ha ha. At first i was really not willing to see it, come on, some movie about weird blue people, but after hearing SO many good references and comments, i decided that i should see it after all. Yeah, so i did. Went with a friend and saw it on IMAX 3D! It really was incredible. Though as a person who likes to pay attention to details i could say some stuff that was not top noch, but hey, in general, it really was one of the best movies i have ever seen. After all they were making it for several years!


Second semester has begun! The first day was normal. You know, get to know the teachers and stuff. The second day...more in the ups and in the downs. Writers Craft was amazing, we had 10 minutes to write about ANYTHING. and then the teacher asked if anyone wants to read theirs, and i kinda liked mine, so i read it to the class... People liked it and it made me kinda feel like there is something that i CAN do! But then as i was walking to my next class i talked to one of my classmates and she said that after hearing my piece she did not feel like reading hers. I totally discouraged my classmates!!! Can't believe i was the evil person!! Grrr...
and math... oh math... the teacher did not give us a lesson, we had to work on hand outs. The sad thing here is that everyone (!!) found the tasks easy while i was struggling to even understand what i was asked to do. I felt sad. I really need to work on my math... but there is a problem, ..this is previous course stuff and it is not included in this textbook. eh...... i'll figure out something! You know i will! ;D

About 10 minutes ago i received a missed call... I checked my phone before seven minutes and called back. (...This number was not in my contact list)..

i guess i have a date, tonight! :) (kk, i don't guess, i know!)


With more then enough Love, always Yours, Marta!
(i am starting to learn to write my name with the capital "M", not easy..)

Special Thank You kisses to Muffindoddess!
And a extremely nice "Hi" to Lācis!
Who knows, maybe they will peak their pretty noses in here too!