Showing posts with label song. Show all posts
Showing posts with label song. Show all posts

Thursday, 22 May 2025

Infinite sadness

There is this vast abundance of sadness. It's overwhelming; it has filled my soul, overflowing and taking over my life. I can no longer function, even on autopilot; I exist no more. 

I can taste the pain on every cell of my tongue. It tastes like blood gushing so fast that I'm drowning in it. I don't know what happiness feels like anymore. I don't want to know what happiness feels like anymore. An undiscriminating numbness has set in. I have lost what I once used to be. 

This sadness tastes so bitter of lies and distrust. It's sour like a funny-smelling milk, not funny like a comedy. Funny, like the joke my life has been these years. It leaves my eyes in tears, my jaw in trismus, my palms in fists. 

It feels like burnt lips and a bitten tongue. It feels like sharp pain, like sharp needles hitting every nerve in my body. It feels like despair. It tastes like despair. It is gruesome, it is chilling, it is earth-shattering sadness and pain.  

Isn't it ironic how someone you used to love more than yourself can hurt you more than you could ever think to hurt another human being? Isn't it ironic how such love and loyalty can be faced with deceit, lies and duplicity?

This is how love moulds into hate and remorse.



Now Playing: Damiano David - Perfect Life

Monday, 4 April 2016

This Song

Some weeks ago I came across this song. I think it was playing in a shop or some pub. It washed over me like a wave. I know this song! I looked it up by the lyrics I heard. I was able to find the song, however where ever I was, the connection was very poor. So I took a cheeky screen shot on my phone. And today I came across this picture as i was browsing old stuff on my phone.
It's a song from 2005 by Röyksopp, a duet from Norway. This song gives me a magical sense. It touches the memory pearls like a mother would touch her newborn child. These memories are not tangible, but they are there, I just can't really see them. But i feel them. I feel a sense of wonder, and most definitely heavy nostalgia. It doesn't weigh me down, it leaves me wondering, as if I am in a fairy-tale. All this mystery makes me love this song. It's going on repeat.



Now playing: Röyksopp - What Else Is There

Thursday, 10 September 2015

Le Birthday's Approaching

These days nothing really comes as a surprise, it's been a while since I felt really surprised about something.
Life is changing, a lot. The passed few months have really been a roller-coaster with some real bad downs and some fascinating ups. It's been difficult to stay positive at times, but with the right attitude and while keeping great people close to me, I have managed to come to where I am at now. September, it has arrived. Yet another September. While in school, it used to mean a new beginning. But this time I am having a new beginning without having to go to school. It's ANOTHER start. It's yet another section starting.
I've had more fresh starts than many people combined. Maybe that's what is my thing, starting things anew. Heck knows.

And yes, birthday is approaching, it will be next week. This year it will be a bit special. ;)

Well. My thoughts are still a mess, but some things I am more certain about than others, so that's marvellous.


Song for the mood these days: Arctic Monkeys - Do I Wanna Know? 
"'Cause there's this tune I found
That makes me think of you somehow

And I play it on repeat
Until I fall asleep"

Saturday, 13 September 2014

Doing This and Doing That

For the first time ever, I truly can not explain my own actions. Usually everything I do made some sense on some sort of  (maybe even messed up) level. But now, now, now... it's a mayor mystery and it's beginning to bother me a lot.




Monday, 25 August 2014

This is That

I came across this song on another blog, there's something to it that caught my ear:



Or, as the person in THE blog calls it - 3 flops in a row.

Saturday, 7 June 2014

Multiple Universes

We live in multiple universes, in multiple realities. That is the truth! We each see the world via a different lens. It's strange when you really wrap your head around it. You suddenly feel all alone, because the truth is, you are alone in your own world. Earth, most literally, becomes a scary place to live in. Like back when you were a child, even closing your eyes was scary. When you come to think about it, the earth really is just like a dream world. We each live in our own, and somehow assume that everyone else lives in the same one, or some place similar to it. Further more, we tend to fool ourselves that we can relate (or better yet, understand) how the other person is experiencing life.
The truth is, there are countless realities, parallel realities, if I may. They co-exist because the choice is not that big, they just have to co-exist.








 Now Playing: Lorde - Royal


Monday, 28 April 2014

SONGS II

In the past few weeks (ever since I puplished SONGS I) I have been compelling a list of songs that bring back good memories, or songs that I simply like a lot. So here is what I have for now minus the ones I have already posed in SONGS I.
Again, there will be no order to them, just a list of songs.

Evanescence - Bring me to life
Daft Punk - Get Lucky
Harry Nilsson - Put The Lime In The Coconut
Maroon 5 ft. Christina Aguilera - Moves Like Jagger
Robin Thicke ft. T.I., Pharrell - Blurred Lines
ABBA - Mamma Mia
Meat Loaf - I'd Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That)
Avril Lavigne - Sk8er Boi
Avril Lavigne - Complicated
Anastacia - Left Outside Alone
Flo Rida - Good Feeling
Ugly Kid Joe - Cats In The Cradle
Katzenjammer - A Bar In Amsterdam
Lori Liberman - Killing Me Softly With His Song
Peter Gabriel - Sledgehammer
Bryan Adams - Please Forgive Me
Prince - Purple Rain
UB40 - Red Red Wine
Eminem - Superman
The Police - Every Breath You Take
Guano Apes - Open Your Eyes
Marc Cohn - Walking In Memphis
Toy-Box - Tarzan & Jane
Shakira ft. Alejandro Sanz - La Tortura
Nancy Sinatra - Bang Bang (My Baby Shot Me Down)
Takida - Curly Sue
John Legend - All Of Me
Nancy Sinatra - These Boots Are Made for Walkin'
Status Quo - In The Army Now
Alice Cooper - Poison
B.o.B ft. Hayley Williams - Airplanes
No Doubt - Don't Speak
Antonio Banderas & Los Lobos - Canción Del Mariachi
Joan Osborne - One of Us
Madonna - You'll See
Roxette - Queen Of Rain
Roxette - Real Sugar
The Cheeky Girls - Take Your Shoes Off
Toni Braxton - Un-Break My Heart
Gorillaz - Clint Eastwood
ABBA - Take A Chance On Me
Sinéad O'Connor - Nothing Compares 2U
Björk - It's Oh So Quiet
Vengaboys - Boom, Boom, Boom, Boom!!
Hoobastank - The Reason
Alien Ant Farm - Smooth Criminal
Spice Girls - Wannabe
Britney Spears - Oops! I Did It Again
Annie Lennox - No More 'I Love You's'
Whitney Houston - I Have Nothing
Ruslana - Wild Dances
Loreen - Euphoria
R.E.M. - Orange Crush
OK Go - Here It Goes Again
Kings Of Leon - Sex on Fire
The Black Eyed Peas - Where Is The Love?
Robbie Williams - Feel
John Lennon - Imagine
Mary J. Blige, U2 - One
Europe - The Final Countdown
Gareth Gates - Anyone Of Us (Stupid Mistake)
Joan Jett & the Blackhearts - I Love Rock N Roll
Avicii - Hey Brother
Queen - Bohemian Rhapsody
Alanis Morissette - Ironic
Labrinth ft. Tinie Tempah - Earthquake
Christina Perri - Jar of Hearts
Evanescence - My Immortal
The Verve - Bitter Sweet Symphony
Lana Del Rey - Summertime Sadness 
Pitbull ft. Ne-Yo, Afrojack, Nayer - Give Me Everything 
Modestep - Sunlight
Metallica - Whiskey In The Jar
Sean Paul - She Doesn't Mind
Rihanna Ft. Jay-Z - Umbrella
Bruno Mars - When I Was Your Man
Lady Gaga - The Edge Of Glory
Stings - Fields Of Gold
Smash Mouth - All Star
Christina Aguilera, Lil' Kim, Mya, Pink - Lady Marmalade
Adele - Chasing Pavements
Etta James - I Just Want To Make Love To You
Imagine Dragons - Radioactive
OneRepublic - Counting Stars
OneRepublic - Stop And Stare
Shakira ft. Rihanna - Can't Remember to Forget You
Calvin Harris ft. Ellie Goulding - I Need Your Love
Johnny Cash - Hurt
Johnny Cash - Ring Of Fire
David Guetta ft. Nicki Minaj - Turn Me On
Jennifer Lopez ft. Pitbull - On The Floor
Rihanna ft. Calvin Harris - We Found Love
Paul Simon - You Can Call Me Al
Spin Doctors - Two Princes
Lady Antebellum - Need You Now
Amy Macdonald - This Is The Life
Icona Pop ft. Charli XCX - I Love It
Cyndi Lauper - Girls Just Want To Have Fun
Ed Sheeran - The A Team
Owl City - Fireflies
Ed Sheeran - Lego House
Tim Berg - Seek Bromance
Florence + The Machine - Dog Days Are Over
LMFAO - Sexy And I Know It
Adele - Rolling In The Deep
Kelly Clarkson - Because Of You
Christina Perri - A Thousand Years
Swedish House Mafia ft. Tinie Tempah - Miami 2 Ibiza
Justin Timberlake - Mirrors
Flo Rida ft. David Guetta - Club Can't Handle Me
O-Zone - Dragostea Din Tei
Elvis Presley - Jailhouse Rock
Rihanna - Diamonds
Rihanna - Pon The Replay
Bloodhound Gang - The Bad Touch
Red Hot Chilli Peppers - Californication
King Charles - Love Lust
Queen - Bicycle Race
Flobots - Handlebars
Sting - Englishman In New York
Natalie Imbruglia - Torn
Tina Turner - What's Love Got To Do With It
Scorpions - Wind Of Change
Eagles - Hotel California
Bryan Adams - Summer of 69
Bon Jovi - Livin' On A Prayer
Michael Jackson - Man In The Mirror
Survivor - Eye Of The Tiger
The Script ft. will.i.am - Hall Of Fame
Mattafix - Big City Life
Coldplay - Paradise
Phil Collins - In The Air Tonight
Midnight Oil - Beds Are Burning
Oasis - Wonderwall
Lenny Kravitz - American Woman
The Beatles - Yesterday
John Denver - Leaving on a Jet Plane
Ray Charles - Hit The Road Jack
Slash ft. Fergie - Beautiful Dangerous
Terrorvision - Tequilla
K'Naan - Wavin' Flag
Depeche Mode - Free Love
Matchbox Twenty - How Far We've Come
Shakira - Waka Waka
Los Del Rio - Macarena
Loona - Bailando
Crazy Frog - Axel F
Fall Out Boy - My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark (Light Em Up)






Thant's all --- For now! ;)









Tuesday, 18 March 2014

SONGS I

There is so much that needs to be said, there are things that are burning inside of me, and they are eager to burst, to see the light of truth. But no! I don't want to share, because not always is sharing caring. There are words, even sentences ready to be born, but I don't let them, I keep them trapped inside. All this because I know that most things are best left unsaid. It's moments like this that I want to shut down and just exist without thinking, without worry. In moments like this I stay silent even if I know it's not the right things to do.
However, when the right moment comes, the right things will be done.

It's sleeping time, but insomnia has taken over. That's why I have spent the last few hours going through songs that for some reason have been close to my heart at one or more moments in my life.
Here is  a list in no order what so ever!

Ben Howard - Promise
Mumford and Sons - Little Lion Man
David Lynch & Lykke Li - I'm Waiting Here
Example - Changed the Way You Kiss Me
Foo Fighters - The Pretender
George Thorogood - Bad To The Bone 
Wintersleep - Smoke
Wintersleep - Weighty Ghost
Wintersleep - Orca
Morgan Page feat Tegan and Sara - Body Work
Tegan and Sara - Where Does the Good Go
Tegan and Sara - Hello
R.E.M. - Leaving New York
R.E.M. - Losing My Religion 
Simon & Garfunkel - I am a Rock
Simon & Garfunkel - Sound of Silence
Simon & Garfunkel - Leaves that are Green
Simon & Garfunkel - Cecillia
Passenger - Feather on the Clyde
Passenger - Let Her Go
Jaymes Young - Northern Lights  
Nelly Furtado - All Good Things (Come To An End)
Amy Winehouse - You Know I'm No Good
Goo Goo Dolls - Iris
Willie Nelson - On the Road Again 
Rednex - Cotton Eye Joe  
Eminem feat. Rihanna - Love the Way You Lie 
Flo Rida feat. Sia - Wild Ones
Don Omar feat Lucenzo - Danza Kuduro
Pitbull feat Chris Brown - International Love
Marc Anthony - You Sang to Me
Peter Gabriel - My Body is a Cage
King Charles - Mississippi Isabel
The Beatles - Yellow Submarine
The Coral - Dreaming of You 
Ylvis - The Fox (What Does the Fox Say?)
VAST - Pretty When You Cry
Gary Jules - Mad World
Passion Pit - Sleepyhead
Lenka - The Show
Placebo - Pure Morning
Katzenjammer - Tea With Cinnamon
Katzenjammer - Le Pop
Auburn - Perfect Two
Juanes - La Camisa Negra
Cyndi Lauper - Fearless 
3 Doors Down - Kryptonite
Eagle Eye Cherry - Save Tonight
Ricky Marin - Livin' la Vida Loca 
Rihanna - Unfaithful
Rihanna - Man Down 
Eminem feat Nate Dogg - Till I Collapse
Eminem - Lose Yourself
Kanye West - Homecoming
Kanye West - Heartless 
Nine Horses - Wonderful World
Nine Horses - The Banality of Evil
Billy Joel - Piano Man  
Sting - Shape of my Heart
Stevie Wonder & Paul McCartney - Ebony and Ivory
Jona Lewie - You'll Aways Find Me in The Kitchen at Parties
Gregory and Hawk - Oats We Sow
Yolanda Be Cool - We no Speak Americano
Men at Work - Down Under
The xx - Friction
The xx - Crystalized
Bob Marley - Buffalo Soldier
FUN - We Are Young
P!nk feat. Nate Ruess - Just Give Me a Reason
P!nk - Try
The Kelly Family - Flip a Coin
Tiziano Ferro - Rosso Relativo
Michel Teló - Ai Se Eu Te Pego
Swedish House Mafia - Don't You Worry Child 
Zucchero feat. Ronan Keating - Il Volo (The Flight)
The White Stripes - Seven Nation Army
Lighthouse Family - High
Soul Asylum - Runaway Train
Coldplay - Fix You
Gotye feat. Kimbra - Somebody That I Used To Know





Le LIST goes on and on, but now I really have to get going.

Wednesday, 29 January 2014

Till I Collapse

I'm short of breath. Something terrible has happened and I don't know how to deal with this. I am 100% to be blamed. But I simply can't wrap my head around this. I do not know how to pass this forward. I don't know what comes now? What happens now?
Life seemed so great! Just .. most things were going well. But now .. now, there is no now.

Till I collapse. I've collapsed. I am so happy for my next weeks adventure. But I don't deserve it. I really don't. What now? I can't not take this trip, because that's not fair to others. But taking this trip is not fair to me, because I don't deserve this. I deserve nothing and I am a terrible person. I have no heart. I do, but I don't.

What now?
How do I tell the truth?
What happens now???

God damn, I feel dizzy, all the thoughts are overwhelming. My head is spinning!
What's the right thing to do?
There is no good way to do bad things.
And yet, they have to be done.

Please.
Stop.





Now Playing:  Eminem feat. Nate Dogg - Till I Collapse


Wednesday, 25 December 2013

It's THAT time of the year

They say it is the most wonderful time of the year, the season to be merry and jolly, time to praise the big fat man called Santa or the God and his son Jesus, which ever tickles your fancy. It is time to give and receive.


Heck with it all, this so called magical time of the year is all in your head, it's all in the shop windows, it's in the silly feeling that last year around the same time you and the society made you produce the feeling of joy. To hell with it all. And then because there has to be balance of joy in the world, the sad become even more sad, depressed and lonely. Yes you understood me correctly, all forces in the world have to add up to be even. (Hence, when the rich become richer, the poor become more poor.) So when ever you are full of happiness for a longer time you are making someone's life miserable.

This year I have very little Christmas spirit in me. It is dormant for some years now. You can blame me, or you can blame the world. But I will just embrace it. I shall use this time to do things I dare not say out loud.

Despite it all, I did enjoy a lovely Christmas eve with my dad, and got some phone calls, and messages that made the festive feeling.

This all is fiction, maybe not. Maybe you'll think about it, maybe not.
Things are as they are.. Right?



Now playing: I want a Hippopotomous for Christmas, because well, it's self-explanatory, isn't it?


Sunday, 15 December 2013

Say What?

My head feels like exploding. I don't know how to turn it off! It keeps thinking and over-thinking, and thinking about over-thinking. I can't take it any more! Why can't I just do what has to be done and that's it? Why do I have to complicate my life so much?!

I want to come clean, I want to tell everyone the truth, I want to tell everyone what I'm thinking.. and what's even more absurd, I want everyone to understand. I want this burden to go away. I want to be able to sincerely smile again. I don't know what is going on in my head. I know what I want, but I am unable to go for the things I want. I've lost my motivation. I've lost any sense that I deserve anything. I am a terrible person and I truly believe that I deserve nothing good.

I don't know what's the right path to take right now.



Saturday, 16 November 2013

Odd. I'm happy.

Life is coming over me like a waterfall. There are so many things happening that I don't even have time to really absorb each moment. But in a good way, of course! Life is happening, and this is very much like what I wanted. When I decided to move back to Latvia, I was afraid that because of how long I'd been way, I would find myself doing nothing. So when I got back my ultimate goal was to keep busy, as busy as humanly possible, to have very little free time. And here I am - doing things all the time. I am running out of hours, I wish a day would be longer, and I wish a week would have another day.

But still. Wish all the ups come downs, and right now they all even out perfectly. The ups are more, so I'm happy. Yup, I'm happy!

I have gained confidence, a lot of it! I don't know if it comes with time, or it came after my big cycling trip. But I truly feel more like a person, like an individual.
I feel good. Bite me. c:




Tuesday, 30 April 2013

"Wonderful World"

This song pretty much explains how i see the world, not all of it, but some lines are spot on.

Now Playing: Nine Horses - Wonderful World



WONDERFUL WORLD

It’s a wonderful world
And you take and you give
And the sun fills the sky
In the space where you live

It’s a day full of dreams
It’s a dream of a day
And the joy that it brings
Nearly sweeps her away

It’s a wonderful world
As the buildings fall down
And you quicken your step
‘til your feet leave the ground
And you’re soaring above
All the sorrow below
And you’re falling in love
With those you don’t know

And your heart feels so wide
And your heart fills so strong
It was never a place
That you felt you belonged

It’s a wonderful world
Full of wonderful things
And the people fall down
And abandon their dreams

(I hear him, he’s talking out loud
Sometimes he whistles while walking
How could he know any better?
I weep for him, I weep for him now)

It’s a wonderful world
It’s a real crying shame
Cos she’s hurting herself
In a violent way
And there’s people she knows
That won’t even try
And they’re trapped in their lives
Feeling terrified
And it’s in times like these
That she promised to call
But the scale of our love 
Is diminished and small

It’s a wonderful world
And she doesn’t know why
She wakes up each day
And continues to cry

(He’s sleeping his troubles away
He’s finding it too hard to bear
I’m with him every step of the way
I weep for him, I weep for him now)

It’s a wonderful world
And you take and you give
And the sun fills the sky
In the space where you live

Sunday, 31 March 2013

Feeling

What is a feeling? I've never really understood what it meant when someone says: "I've got feelings for you." Well, so do I, but what kind of feelings? I don't know. I can feel cold, warm, scared, tired. But what is it like to feel love for another being that is not your family? How is it possible to have any feelings towards someone? I don't get it. This is so confusing. What is love?

How is it possible to have feelings for someone you don't care about? How can you suddenly care of this one person when before there was nothing to care about? Why is this so confusing?




Right now I feel so empty,
And someday won’t be ending,
Until I’ve done all that I can,
All that.
Until I’ve done all that I can.
One day, it’ll get easier,
'Cause right now,
I feel so simple,
Until I’ve done all that I can,
All that.
Until I’ve done all that I can.
And so I said, "Hello hello hello, I’m right here."
Oh, hello hello hello,
I’m right here.
I’m right here waiting for...

Drinking to yesterdays news.
I’m sorry I was late, I was so blue.
Oh, my hands hurt from holding your hands.
And I’m young but it’s hard to believe, yeah-e-ah,
That someday I will never see you again.
And you might not believe this,
But you’ve changed me so much.
But baby (baby) it’s so hard leaving you.
And maybe (maybe) this was the only, the only way.
Yeah, yeah. 
But right now I wish I was older,
And right now,
You look so simple.
Now is not my time.
No, no,
Now is not the time,
And so I said, "Hello hello hello, I’m right here."
I said, "Hello hello hello, I’m right here."
I'm right here waiting for...

Drinking to yesterday’s news.
I’m sorry I was late, I was so blue.
Oh, my hand hurts from holding your hand.
And I’m young but it’s hard to believe,
Yeah-e-ah,
That someday I will never see you again.
And you might not believe this ,
but you’ve changed me so much.
But baby (baby), it’s so hard leaving you.
And maybe (maybe) this was the only, the only way.
Yeah, yeah.
But baby (baby), it’s so hard leaving you.
And maybe (maybe) this was the only, the only way.
Yeah, yeah.
But baby (baby), it’s so hard leaving you.
And maybe (maybe) this was the only, the only way.
Yeah, yeah.
'Cause someday I will never see you again.








I think love doesn't simply appear out of nowhere.
There is no love at first sight.
It's probably lust, a spark, maybe, but it isn't love.
Love grows, from a small seed it grows into a tree.
It's an odd tree, it requires nurture or just good laughs. 
It's complex, every tree is so very different.
But the bigger any tree grows, the tougher it is to cut it down.

Tuesday, 1 January 2013

Koka Karote Azotē

Vakar nopirku koka karoti, jo accoding to Kristaps mājās nebija koka karote. Atnākot mājās es konstatēju, ka rosola bļodā ir koka karote, un ne jau tā kuru es nopirku. Man jau patīk, ka, kad Kristapam kaut ko vajag tas pekšņi ir, bet, kad man vajag, tad nekad nekas nav. Es nevaru ciest, ka cilvēki pret citiem izturās kā pret sūda gabaliem un sevi vērtē augstāk par jebko citu.

Tagad mājas ir koka karote. Ir divas.

Bet es te tā pat drīz vairs nebūšu, un savu koka karoti es ņemšu līdzi.
Pie velna viss.


Tagad skan: The xx - Fiction

Monday, 31 December 2012

Purchase

I, like most of us (I believe), usually download music online. Illegally. Yup, that's what I do. Very rarely do I actually buy a song online. Now that I come to thinking of it, online I've actually paid for just one song. And it was only because I couldn't find where to download it, but I liked the song very, very much.
All for good, today I made a change, I purchased two CDs! You heard me. I went into a store and purchased two brand new CD, in a legal store. I know, WHY?? That's what I would be thinking. If I wanted, I could get all these songs online without spending any money. Besides, CDs just take us space, and that's no good (especially now). But somehow a new part of my brain took over and I decided to go ahead and buy the CDs. The first CD I found in the shelves of FOPP was The XX this year's album Coexist. I've not listened to it yet, but should be good. The second CD that I purchased is the new album of Canadian band Wintersleep called HELLO HUM. I'm listening to it as I write and I am enjoying it. I don't know if this is actual satisfaction, or if I am just reassuring myself that it was a purchase worth the money. I've like Wintersleep ever since I heard them the first time, so I assume that this is real satisfaction.

Well Happy New Year everybody. I'm staying in today, having a glass of Asti and then heading to bed.
A quiet evening for me, thank You very much. :D




Tuesday, 18 September 2012

Crazy Stupid Me

Gosh. Where does common sense go?


"I know that the spades are the swords of a soldier
I know that the clubs are weapons of war
I know that diamonds mean money for this art
But that's not the shape of my heart"


Monday, 10 September 2012

"I Think I'm moving, but I Go Nowhere"


One Republic
Stop and Stare


This town is colder now, I think it’s sick of us
It’s time to make our move, I’m shakin' off the rust
I’ve got my heart set on anywhere but here
I’m staring down myself, counting up the years

Steady hands just take the wheel
Every glance is killing me
Time to make one last appeal
For the life I lead

Stop and stare
I think I’m moving but I go nowhere
Yeah, I know that everyone gets scared
But I’ve become what I can’t be, oh

Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you’re here not there
And you’d give anything to get what’s fair
But fair ain’t what you really need
Oh, can you see what I see?

They’re tryin' to come back, all my senses push
Untie the weight bags, I never thought I could
Steady feet, don’t fail me now
I'm gonna run till you can’t walk
Something pulls my focus out
And I’m standing down

Stop and stare
I think I’m moving but I go nowhere
Yeah, I know that everyone gets scared
But I’ve become what I can’t be, oh

Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you’re here not there
And you’d give anything to get what’s fair
But fair ain’t what you really need
Oh, you don’t need

What you need, what you need
What you need

Stop and stare
I think I’m moving but I go nowhere
Yeah, I know that everyone gets scared
I’ve become what I can’t be
Oh, do you see what I see?

Sunday, 9 September 2012

Motivation as My Pet

Life changes. Ideas are born, and soon they die. What makes an idea sustainable? What is it that some ideas remain with the root in my mind, and then they never leave? How do they manage to stay there? I can't find anything that the few things have in common. What is it, that despite my laziness and procrastination some ideas just continue to flicker until they are realized. How is it that there really are things that I simply refuse to give up on, while there are other all sorts of thoughts going through my mind; bigger and smaller ones. How do I manage to not give up every time? Where do I find this mysterious strength, where is it created, and hoe does it breed. I need some of that food, the one that feeds creativity and motivation. What is it that makes the good things grow?

(yeah, just like the olden days...:/ ugh, memories)






Here's a small recap of my weekend that was nothing like me. Or was it. I don't even know who I am. But I like the part of me that gets out every now and then. Friday we got off work at decent time for once in a long time. I went home, and was well rested when I headed early to city center to meet my friend (aka mīļums). We had a few drinks here and there, and soon enough I was quite drunk. Therefore cheeky enough to send a text message to a certain someone. Because I had to write something that the guy HAD to reply to, I wrote something very brave (to say the least). Never the less the time flew by fast, and there were several cute guys at the last pub that we visited that evening. And, well, then later I met the certain someone. I had slept two hours that night. Then Saturday I went to a gym with one of my colleague. She had arranged for me to enjoy the gym as a guest. Spent about three hours at the gym; great warm up, toning up some muscles, and then we went for a swim. After that we went to a noodle place for lunch. Then I biked back home for a well deserved sleep. All in all it was a great day. Then work today, which was, of course not the best day (cuz my job sucks, big time). But Friday and Saturday went well, so that counts as having a good weekend. With the exception that I have understood that at times I'm a terrible person, big time.