From Here to There

November finally arrived. But before that end of October happened. On the last Wednesday of October I went to "trim" my hair. It is now half the length it was. (It is still long though!)

On Thursday it was a tough day at uni. But after that I had a nice lunch with a couple of my friends. Then later, in the evening, I was visiting my brother for his birthday dinner. It was great to see my niece again. She is growing rapidly. We stayed there till late and were home a bit after midnight. It ended up being a long night with packing, shower, doing laundry, and tiding up the mess I had produced in the last few months. I got to bed at six in the morning. My alarm was set for 7:30. I woke up 5 minutes before it went off.

Now it was Friday, the very day that I was patiently waiting for. That's the day when, what should be the greatest trip if my life so far, was about to begin. I flew to Lisbon to see my boyfriend. He was waiting for me at the arrivals, with a flower! :) We seized the last bit of the day we had by going a bit out in the city. Again, arriving after midnight home, we started packing, this time Pedro's things. It went a bit hectic, but by four in the morning we were fast asleep.

With most things packed we let ourselves sleep so we would be somewhat rested for our first flight together. With everything ready to go, bags and bikes packed, Pedro went to get his father and then we drove to the airport. At the check in we had a bit of a scare, the lady at the Emirates desk said that I could only get a 15 day visa for our final destination, so she could not. Check us in because we had our return flights only in 5 weeks. But luckily we had purchased another flight for us for while on the trip, so we had theoretical proof that we'll be leaving Thailand before the 15 days expire. With all that settled we now had to pass our bikes through the oversized luggage scanner, and help the woman working there bring the bike boxes to the other side. :D  We then bought some wine and headed for our gate. The flight was long, more than seven hours. And at Dubai we were not able to land because the airport was busy, so we took an extra minutes just circulating above Dubai. We landed passed two at night local time. Luckily our CS host Jihad was still waiting for us at the airport to take us to his place. With him was another surfer, Vaidas. This guy is from Lithuania, but has also lived in Norway, and in Canada for several years. Now he was on his journey to see every country in the world!! At our host's place we had a quick chat but soon went to sleep. It had been a long day!

We all slept in even though that was not the plan. We planned to leave the apartment by 10, but Jihad had to be in work. He had called work that he would be late, but because he sounded ill, his colleague said to stay home for the day. So now he was our awesome "sick" driver and tour guide. He really turned out to be one of the best hosts ever! Impressive!
We got to see some of Dubai. Before our flight we met an old colleague of Pedro's, had a nice quick dinner. And then our host drove us to the airport. We found our terminal, our boarding gate, and we were ready to take off for Bangkok!

And that is where we are right now. :)

SONGS I

There is so much that needs to be said, there are things that are burning inside of me, and they are eager to burst, to see the light of truth. But no! I don't want to share, because not always is sharing caring. There are words, even sentences ready to be born, but I don't let them, I keep them trapped inside. All this because I know that most things are best left unsaid. It's moments like this that I want to shut down and just exist without thinking, without worry. In moments like this I stay silent even if I know it's not the right things to do.
However, when the right moment comes, the right things will be done.

It's sleeping time, but insomnia has taken over. That's why I have spent the last few hours going through songs that for some reason have been close to my heart at one or more moments in my life.
Here is  a list in no order what so ever!

Ben Howard - Promise
Mumford and Sons - Little Lion Man
David Lynch & Lykke Li - I'm Waiting Here
Example - Changed the Way You Kiss Me
Foo Fighters - The Pretender
George Thorogood - Bad To The Bone 
Wintersleep - Smoke
Wintersleep - Weighty Ghost
Wintersleep - Orca
Morgan Page feat Tegan and Sara - Body Work
Tegan and Sara - Where Does the Good Go
Tegan and Sara - Hello
R.E.M. - Leaving New York
R.E.M. - Losing My Religion 
Simon & Garfunkel - I am a Rock
Simon & Garfunkel - Sound of Silence
Simon & Garfunkel - Leaves that are Green
Simon & Garfunkel - Cecillia
Passenger - Feather on the Clyde
Passenger - Let Her Go
Jaymes Young - Northern Lights  
Nelly Furtado - All Good Things (Come To An End)
Amy Winehouse - You Know I'm No Good
Goo Goo Dolls - Iris
Willie Nelson - On the Road Again 
Rednex - Cotton Eye Joe  
Eminem feat. Rihanna - Love the Way You Lie 
Flo Rida feat. Sia - Wild Ones
Don Omar feat Lucenzo - Danza Kuduro
Pitbull feat Chris Brown - International Love
Marc Anthony - You Sang to Me
Peter Gabriel - My Body is a Cage
King Charles - Mississippi Isabel
The Beatles - Yellow Submarine
The Coral - Dreaming of You 
Ylvis - The Fox (What Does the Fox Say?)
VAST - Pretty When You Cry
Gary Jules - Mad World
Passion Pit - Sleepyhead
Lenka - The Show
Placebo - Pure Morning
Katzenjammer - Tea With Cinnamon
Katzenjammer - Le Pop
Auburn - Perfect Two
Juanes - La Camisa Negra
Cyndi Lauper - Fearless 
3 Doors Down - Kryptonite
Eagle Eye Cherry - Save Tonight
Ricky Marin - Livin' la Vida Loca 
Rihanna - Unfaithful
Rihanna - Man Down 
Eminem feat Nate Dogg - Till I Collapse
Eminem - Lose Yourself
Kanye West - Homecoming
Kanye West - Heartless 
Nine Horses - Wonderful World
Nine Horses - The Banality of Evil
Billy Joel - Piano Man  
Sting - Shape of my Heart
Stevie Wonder & Paul McCartney - Ebony and Ivory
Jona Lewie - You'll Aways Find Me in The Kitchen at Parties
Gregory and Hawk - Oats We Sow
Yolanda Be Cool - We no Speak Americano
Men at Work - Down Under
The xx - Friction
The xx - Crystalized
Bob Marley - Buffalo Soldier
FUN - We Are Young
P!nk feat. Nate Ruess - Just Give Me a Reason
P!nk - Try
The Kelly Family - Flip a Coin
Tiziano Ferro - Rosso Relativo
Michel Teló - Ai Se Eu Te Pego
Swedish House Mafia - Don't You Worry Child 
Zucchero feat. Ronan Keating - Il Volo (The Flight)
The White Stripes - Seven Nation Army
Lighthouse Family - High
Soul Asylum - Runaway Train
Coldplay - Fix You
Gotye feat. Kimbra - Somebody That I Used To Know





Le LIST goes on and on, but now I really have to get going.

Money Matters

It's almost 2013. Who would've knew that the year will go by so fast? The year really did go by fast, but when you come to think about it, many, many things have happened since the beginning of the year.
I was going to do a later sum-up-the-year post, but I have a feeling that this one will turn out into one.

In the long run it has turned out to be a travel year. January was the start of this journey, I went to Paris. In a way it had always been a dream city for me. Not entirely, but it was definitely one on my checklist. How could it not be, right? Then I also visited Scotland's capital, Edinburgh. Compared to Glasgow, it is much, much cleaner and more beautiful. February was a long month as well. I got my dad a lovely camera for birthday, then I went home to visit for a week. Also, in February before going to Latvia, I moved in with different people. Lovely people, and I come to thinking that the time I spent living with them has been by far the best time in Scotland. Living with Inga was great! I mean, I had a good friend for all that time.
Then March finally came and I went BUNGEE jumping. Now that was amazing. It was something I had always wanted to try, and was so very glad I finally did it. It was better than I had though it would be.
April went by quietly, did not do much, I suppose some small things added up.
In May I went to Northern Ireland. Before that my mom visited me on her way to Canada.
In June I bought my unicycle, and that is why it is called June. :D In July I got a new bicycle since my previous one got destroyed at the beginning of June.
In August I went about to see some other cities in Scotland, I visited Stirling and I visited Aberdeen. In September right after my birthday I went to Ireland, Dublin. After that I had a party for my birthday, it was fun. In October I went to London, and met my brother there, and we had a couple great days in the big city. November was the next best thing after Paris, I visited Iceland. An country with fascinating scenery. Then I went home again for a week to visit my family.
And it is December now already. Shall see what will happen before it ends.

There it is, my year in a few sentences.
Now I really gotta run. :D

Birthday Post #3 - Pāris Vārdos

Neizdevusies, bet garšīga kūka. Netīras zeķes. Dažādi vīni. Mīļa kompānija. Dāsni palīgi. Ziedi & rozes. Kaķis kastē uz kartiņas. Melna pele. Smieklīgi video. Vecas dziesmas. Jaunas dziesmas. Kāršu spēles. Smiekli līdz asarām. Patiesība. Galīgākais sviests. Vīns. Dzirkstošais vīns. Gardas trifeles. Zemenes. Avenes. Salāti. Mellenes. Siers. Vista marinādē. Grilēti dārzeņi. Neatbildēti zvani. Vēstules. Īsziņas. Internets. Pārsteigums. Laika soļi. 21LVL(līmenis). Savāda draudzība. Maz bilžu. Nepacietība. Nogurums un bauda.

Visā visumā patīkama diena. :))
Tagad varbūt nedaudz jāpaguļ, rīt jāceļās ap četriem, tas ir pēc biči vairāk kā četrām stundām. Līdz tam vēl jāizdomā ko darīšu Īrijā.

Eh, dažbīd dzīve tomēr ir forša. (:

Me, Myself and I

I will make this year more than any other year "everything about me and I". I will have ONE THING PER MONTH that is going to add another ckeck-mark to my life's TO DO LIST. (I'll label this idea as "my month", so that later i can follow up on it.) I have something for January, it will happen next week, but i'm sorta keeping a secret for now. (Although it is super exciting!!) For February I plan to move, still struggling about where to... For March I have a vague idea as well. Really need to go through with it. But I don't plan on spilling the beans as to what this idea is. But for the following months I still don't have any plans, but they'll come, don't worry. Besides, planning out everything kinda takes away the thrill of it.

Other than that I have already changed. I've progressed, and more than anything I hope this is not gonna just be periodical. I hope to not fall back in a booring routine. I have to keep up with this.

Meanwhile, I'm listening to Jazz, watching French movies, working out or jogging, and reading books of an odd type of anthropology. I'm growing again. :))

Different

It's yet another last day of YET another year. I hope it's the best one for all of us, me, you and everybody else. I hope it feels like a never ending firework. I hope it's like a constant orgasm. I wish you that every single day goes by with the thought that it was the best day so far. May all your dearest wishes come true. I really wish for world peace, so that we all live in harmony and accept each other just the way we are. I hope I learn to be more welcome, and more patient. I hope only good things will happen. And if anything bad does happen, we should take the best of it and add it to life experiences. I want 2012 to be different than any other year. I want to do things that I haven't done, and make it memoriable. Truly, may it be the best so far!

I love my bike!

I got my bike fixed, sort of... And then me and my bro, we went for a ride... All I can say is that I love my bike. I adore it!

Day 5

Today is the final day of my 5-day-pre-holiday-weekend. I've been out and about every night since Thursday. Today is the last day because tomorrow i'll be leaving for my holiday. :)

On Thursday i met up with Gunta for a few beers. On Friday was my colleagues birthday party. Saturday the same birthday party continued. Sunday i went to Latvian poker night. And today, Monday, it's the big poker night. The plan is to have a real good time!! :))

Plus i can not wait for tomorrow!!!!!!!!!

Cheerios my friends.

Čukst

Gar vecām rindu mājām aiztek emociju vilnis. Es rakstu tev vēstuli. Domās tā jau sen ir aploksnē ar marku, apzīmogota un ceļā uz tavu Ģertrūdes ielu. Bet patiesībā tā nav. Patiesība ir nedaudz novītusi, nav papīra lapas. Rezerves pildspalvai beigusies tinte, un nepietiek naudas, lai iegādātos markas. Pavisam atklāti, arī īstie vārdi vēl nav piemeklēti. Bet te nu es esmu, rakstu tev vēstuli.

Vakar sākās aukstuma stundas. Tās vairs nebūs skaitāmas, tas vairs nebūs noslepkavots vasaras karstums. Būs parasts ziemeļu rudens, pat pārejas posms tiek izlaists. Arī brīnumi kā atvasara šai malā nenotiek.

Iedalītas ir domāšanas kārtis. Nekas nav paredzams. Ak, ko melo, paredzams ir viss, bet Antiņam bail kāpt stikla kalnā. Tur nepieciešama vīza, un jāsakrāj daudz zelta. Tomēr impulsi dzen uz vēl neesošām robežām. Tie dzen mani tālāk no tevis. Nebēdā draugs, es arī no citiem plašumiem sūtīšu tev vēstules.

I Got it Fugured Out!

Alright.
Remember when I said than "Men are made of dissapointment"?
(Here)

.. couldn't figure what women were made of. Well, you'll be pleased to know, that I've got an answer. I could tell you several stories that lead me to this conclusion, but that would be going into far too much detail. No one wants that, right?

So, here it goes:

Women are made of wit.

What do You think? Pretty cool, huh?

I SAW A DRAGONFLY TODAY!!

Well hello there my wonderful world. The past few days have been great. Really. I know You don't hear this from me offten, but it is the truth. I will not go into details, since I am a very closed off person and all (gotta keep it up). HAHA

Spent a few days with Arita in Talsi. Well two of the days we were at the beach and it was raining all the time. Boo, and it is very, very hot now.. UGH.

Anyway, today I am in the city Saldus, in Kurzeme. Blah, blah, blah.. and we (my two brothers and I) were walking back to the house and my twin (Tašpuks) saw a dragonfly on a bridge we were crossing. I figured it got hit by a car since it looked week, but still alive. It was so pretty, and You can't imagine how glad I was to see it. (Me and dragonflies are like sisters.) So we took the poor thing and put it in the grass to recover. I hope it got it's strength together and managed to survive. I believe it did.

And just to tell you how much I love dragonflies I will put up a picture that i took with the camera that has no display.

"I'll Miss You! ♥"

I'm too lazy to search for a quotation that would say something about time, but You can just imagine I have a quotation here to start of my today's writing. I do realize that I have been writing about time too much, but it is something that I don't get enough of. Alright, instead of writing a quotation about time, I can insert a quotation about friendship. Ok? Sounds better already, doesn't it?

It takes a long time to grow an old friend.
/John Leonard/

I'm leaving the following Thursday. I am happy because I will see my friends and relatives in Latvia, but I am sad because I have to say goodbye to all my friends here. I still can not swallow the fact that I will most likely never see my Canada friends ever again. I can not imagine a day when I would want to chill with them and would not be able to meet up in a few hours. I can't believe there will no more be drunken nights with tons of booze and ridiculous conversations that somehow end up involving my boobs (don't ask :D) or other just as random topic. I refuse to accept that there will no more be emotional dramas and fake meanassness, lateness and evil prank calls, and other even more unforgivable actions. I simply can't imagine not tweeting about how I feel when with them. So there will no more be greedy eye glazes, and fighting about things I should be thankful existed. No more dancing at clubs where all you hear is the TOP 50 chart songs and so are able to sing along to every song, no scratch that, yell along to every song. There will not be any "mystery guests" at parties, and no more dares like making a girl turn on a gay guy. There will never be a group of people who comprehend jewish and black, and communist jokes on the level that we do,  nor will there be any new retarded inside jokes (I guess this is where the boob thing comes in).

This is THE END to an era, but as the old times go, new ones are about to unfold. And even though it is extremely sad to leave everything behind and move on, I am looking forward to the future.

But for now, let's forget about the past or the future. I adore this moment and there is no way I will give it away. so... LET'S LIVE IT UP!!

All Too Much

Hi.

Many things have happened recently, and I will try to cover as much as I can. I don't have much time, so I will just go fast through things.

First I would like to let You know that I have finished school. I will be getting my diploma this Friday, but I had my last exam last Friday, so I am done! About that, though I am done, I signed up for summer school. I will be doing to two courses to increase my mark in English and Biology, all to get into my first choice University: Glasgow Caledonian. If I don't get in there then I will be probably going to Dundee University. We shall see how things work out. I am applying to live in Glasgow Caledonian residence, I just need to finish the application and send it to them (along with several other things). So yeah, basically there is a lot of things to do.

Other thing that I wanted to talk about was the past weekend. Friday night we (me, mom and Tašpuks) went to Zemgālija. It was so relaxing and, and.. I had a great time there. I would go into to details, but as I said, I am in a rush. The next morning we went to Canada's Tērvete for the Līgo celebration. That included folk dancing, singing, and, of course, beer drinking. It was supposed to be more fun, but one of my good friends left early that night, but my other friend, who said she would be there was no where to be found. But it was alright. The next morning we were on our way back to Ottawa. But we didn't stay home for long. We had to get dressed and leave for this church thing, blah, blah, blah (I just don't know what it is called in English) and after that we went to celebrate at this families place. They live by the lake and there was a great view, fancy dinner and a lot of fun with other people. And it was probably the last time I will ever see Edijs, a guy who claims that I am his favourite girl. How cute is that? Haha.

And this week is busy as hell. Today I have to clean up the house, and then I'm going to the movies with Rebeka, that should be fun. I might be sleeping over at her place, and that should be fun as well. (Yeah, not so good on synonyms today). Tomorrow is Thinh's and Sunny's birthday party, and I still need to get presents for them. Wednesday there is a plan to celebrate Līgo (again) and if not, then I will go clubbing. Thursday I have to go to a dinner that my friend's family is organizing. And Friday, as I already mentioned, is the commencement at our school, so all the grads of 2010 will be getting their diplomas in a very uncool, formal, unpersonalized, "american movie" fashion. Yeah, yeah, we will be wearing the gowns and the funny hats.  After that we (my mom, Tašpuks and I) will be going to a sushi place to celebrate the whole thing in a more personal and cozy atmosphere. Saturday is FREE. But I am sure that during the next few days I will fill it up with something (actually I have a feeling that I already have something to do, but I just don't recall it). And Sunday there is a concert at the Latvian place, some guest artists playing. Next Monday, so in a week, will be the Prom day. I will not be going to the official prom (buūuuuu). But I will go to an alternative version of it, and later to another alternative after-prom. That should be loads of fun!!!

That is my plan for the next week. So bye for now.
I miss You much but there is so little time!!!!

Tik Daudz

Sēžu un mirkšķinu acis kā tikko no ūdens izlīdusi žurka. Kas zin, varbūt esmu arī (te kāds budists varētu iemest, ka iepriekšējā dzīvē arī biju). Pār iemigušo prātu vien skalojās viss tas, kas vēl jāpadara.
Ja man būt spēka, es skaļi, jo skaļi iečukstētu nākamā autobusa šoferim, ka darba laiks beidzies, pilsēta guļ. Šoferis aizdomīgi uz mani noskatītos un pēc tam, kad būtu palūdzis man atstāt braucošo dotos tālāk ceļā, atkārtojumā. Luksofora pievērtās acis sajukumā vairs nerādīs pat pusgaismas, apjuks šoferis, bet turpinās ceļu..
Bet man spēka nav.
Gar tastatūras melnajiem burtiem top mana dzīve. Jau uzrakstīta? Jau kāda cita sacerēta? Viss viens? Viens scenārijs ar vienādu sākumu un galu?
Ekrāns aiz stikla sienas klusē. Klusē. Klusē un neizmoka ne burtu no atbildes, .. jau uzrakstītās.
Noslēgta skaņa, aizslēgtas ausis, aizšūtas lūpu žāvas. Miegā kaut kas nobirst un tas arī viss. Vairāk šodien nepateiks.
Blakus pārrakstītām lapām, citās krāsās, citās formās, citā rokrakstā viens pēc otra autori skrubina domas. Kā nobeigt pasakas tēlu. Kā gaišāk pasacīt. Viss.
Sasiekaloti dzerokļi, dzīvnieki, un visbeidzot, ekrāns. Bet ko tad viņš?
Es jau esmu tā, kas aiz stikla sienas slēpjas!

TenMinMix - something i like

I bumped into this song, i don't remember when and where, but then i sorta liked it. So now, a few days later, i have decided to share it with you too!

Enjoy!

"tavas tintes traips"

TAVAS TINTES TRAIPS
(jeb ttt)

Šis ir mans otrais blogs. Iepriekš to sauca "empty for now".
Bet tagad tajā nu jau ir sarakstīti daži dzejoļi. Šeit ar laiku salikšu visus savus dzeļojus. Salasīšu no malu malām un tad visi būs vienu viet. Tas protams nebūs tik ātri. Pirmkārt laika taču nav, otrkārt, man ir diezgan daudz dzejoļi, kas ir rakstīti ar roku.
Blogs ir angļu/latviešu valodā. Tas tāpec, ka nevaru izlemt kādā, tāpēc nolēmu, ka būs abas. Labi jau tas nav, bet man tā gribās un viss. Noņēmu datuma opciju, jo rakstīšu pamazām. Un datumu rakstīšu pati, kā jau to esmu darījusi līdz šim. Un blakus "RIVER OF TAGS" varēs aplūkot gadus, mēnešus un datumus, kā arī citas etiķetes.
Ceru, ka drīz, jo drīz varēšu jau jums lielīties, ka blogā ir salikti visi dzejoļi no malu malām.
Bloga adrese arī ir ļoti vienkārša:
dzejo.blogspot.com

ps. Jauno blogu dēvēšu par ttt

pirmais augusts

laba diena.
forša diena.
tumšas ielas, bet es izdzīvoju.
labas sarunas.
ar radaru.
un ar plakni.
viņš ir atpakaļ.
tas labi.
aprunājāmies sakarīgi, līdz viņš pēkšņi pazuda,
bet tas tā bieži notiek.. un es zinu, ka tas nav tāpēc,
ka viņš negrib ar mani runāt. :)

rīt uz alfu.
ceru, ka būs tik pat forši kā cīlī picā! ;)

bučas pinkainajam.
gaidu tevi! ;*


***

nav lemts.

mēs nesatiksimies rīt.
lai gan sarunāta vieta un laiks.
es parūpēšos par plānu maiņu.

manā pusē uzlīs lietus lāses,
bet blakus tavam acu manām
nories glauns pērkons.

aklie ieraudzīs dienas,
kas ritējušas vēl nav.
un notiesās uz nāvi vainīgo.

un mēs nesatiksimies,
jo nav atrasts vainīgais.
un aklo ar vairāk nav.

novērsti draudi
uz lieveņa bijām,
baudījām tos brīžus.

mēs sajauksim vietu,
apstāsies laiks,
mēs negribēsim kā iepriekš

un man skaudīs,
jo tu būsi pērkonam,
ne man.

balādes nodzisīs.
viss, kā iepriekš,
tikai bez skaņas.

aklajiem nebūs lemts
atrast vietas,
kur reiz tikāmies mēs.

man tevis pietrūkst.
tavi pieskārieni,-
nav degvielas vairs.

sapnis pēc sapņa
izgaist aiz klāja,
izsalcis pērkons, tas viss.

pavisam nedaudz.

cik var??
es jau jūtu, ka bija par daudz.

piektdien - foršs nometnes pēdējais vakars + dancošana un tusēšana
Sestdien - TUSS.
Svētdiena - grrrr
Pirmdien - kolosāla diena pirms braukšanas ar Tašpuku + shopping + vārda diena.
Otrdien - ceļā uz Rīgu!...

uhhh...
nedaudz vajag piemest kaut ko neforšu???
nē.
es vienkārši neesmu pieradusi, ka labas lietas notiek tik lielos daudzumos, bez stājas.
bet man patīk.

bāc.
nevajag pierast..
citādi nāksies vilties.
es jau jūtu!


***
paldies visiem, kas novēlēja labu vārda dienu
un, protams, paldies Tašpukam un nedaudz arī mammai par foršo dienu! :))

***

un buča lācim,
piedo, ka neko neuzrakstīju! :(
bet tu zini, ka esi man ļoti, ļoti mīļa lāča ķepa!! ;)
apsolu, tev būs pirmais šī gada e-pasts no RĪGAS!!

***
eju krāmēties!! :D


***

Nasta par smagu.
Nevar panest vairs patiesos vārdus.
Jāsasmeļ izlietās dienas,
bet ir jau par vēlu.

Paredzami nākotnes vārdi
un lietas, kas jānožēlo būs.
Noslēptas likstas
un īpaši izcelti māni.

Nav nekur rakstīts,
ka akli esam,
nav spalvas un tintes.
Nav papīra lapas.

Nozagtas pienes.
Nav ne vasara
ne pavasaris.
Bet pienes ir.

Pūkā tītas,
izsmērētas gar palātas
stikla logu.
Vai redzi?

Man jāizspļauj atvadu vārdi.
Cik, pēc skaita,
vai kādās krāsās,
kurš zin kā pareizi būtu?

Plaksti par smagu,
mute neveras ciet.
Aust nākamā rīta saule.
Bez vārdiem atvadamies mēs.

Izrautas papīra lapas.
Nenobeigta vēstule man.
Mēs zinām, ka tikai zābaks
spēj runāt, kad jārunā nav.

Paklusē.
Paklusē šodien mans draugs,
Jo tā pat neviens
neredz to, kas ir ļauts.


***

Bez stājas.

Agresīvi dauzās mana sirds.
Bez stājas, bet cītīgi.
Sirds sit pulsu,
bez stājas.

Grieķu pasaku tēli
kāpj pār glāzes malu.
Ir par daudz,
bet turpinās bez stājas.

Mirst drauga drauga
iedomu draugs.
Mēs esam mānīgā aplī,
kas rit bez stājas.

Ar gaisa vadiem
pūsta strāva.
Mūk domas par Tevi,
Bez stājas.

Un turpina pukstēt sirds,
nemierīgi sit pulsu.
Domās slīgstu. Par Tevi.
Bez stājas.

Zvans zvanīja dziesmu.

Un es jūtos it kā būtu kur citur,
lai gan nomierinošā dvaša liek justies kā mājās,
es spēju sev melot, kad meli ir lieki.

Sasmelti laimes spaiņi karājās atkarības galā.
Paglābt nevar neviens
un arī pa rokai nav glābšanas riņķa.

Piepūsti domu maisi salikti plauktos,
aizvilkti aizkari un izšautas spuldzes,
ausīm pazūd bērnu klaigas.

Izdzēsts un labots, un pārrakstīts.
Mēs visi esam melnrakstā ar melnas tintes pleķiem
uz skrandām triepti.

Cits ar kļūdām, nelabojamām, neciešamām,
bet cits spēj paslēpt visu smacējošo
zem vārdu krītošajām ēnām.

Piepcelts nepareizi izgrieztais karogs,
paslēpti patiesības dzinumi,
es esmu tur, kur tu mani ved.

***
čau, esmu atpakaļ no Tērvetes. Un man vēl pirms nepilna brīža bija TIK daudz ko stāstīt, bet es pārdomāju. Gandrīz. Bet tādos īsos, aklos vilcienos jau var..

Sākumā likās, ka aiz garlaicības nosprāgšu un divas nedēļas mana sabiedrības kārā dzīvība neizturēs. Lasīju. Lasīju daudz. Pabeidzu grāmatu, kuru iesāku pirms mēnešiem dieviem un vēlāk arī grāmatu, kuru biju iesākusi lasīt pirms kādiem diviem gadiem. Sāku lasīt trešo grāmatu. Vienīga sakarīgā grāmata, kas tur uz vietas bija atrodama: "Eņģeļi un dēmoni." Īsi pirms došanās uz nometni redzēju grāmatas ekranizāciju. Filma bija .. hmm... nu jā. Rasmai taisnība viss tas sižets, kā grāmatā tā filmā ir dikti pārspīlēts. Bet nu ne par to šoreiz runa. Pirmā nedēļa aizritēja pārlieku mokošā domāšanā un lasīšanā, un nedaudz zīmēšanā, un un... nu jā, ar dažiem aprunājos un tml, bet (āā, starpcitu, mans darbs nometnē - mazgāt trukus, saklāt galdu pirms ēdienreizēm un tml. sīki uzdevumi, un palīdzēt, un nu jā...)...Vispār jautri nebija.. Otrajā nedēļā no nenokā kļuvu 'populāra', gandrīz vai vārdu tiešajā nozīmē. Viss sākās ar to, ka Mācītājs un Smalkais (vārdi, protams, mainīti) sāka mani sveicināt joka pēcs. "Čau Marta!" To es dzirdēju vismaz piecpadsmit reizes dienā, no katra un tas tikai sākumā. (āā, un viņi mani mēģināja iemest upē, bet es tā saķu spārdīties, ka viņiem nācās mani laist vaļā :D) Nākamajā dienā arī citi audzinātāji mani sāka sveicināt. Un sekojošajās dienās arī vairums nometņotāji bija iekrituši 'Martas sveicināšanas' azartā. Sāku mazāk pievērs uzmanību neizgulētajam meigam, bet gan vairāk skatīt ko dara bērni un šur tur kaut ko padarīt. Apmēram otrās nedēļas vidū dažiem no audzinātājeim ļāvu uzzināt par to, ka zīmēju. Cik noprotu, viņiem bija (un ir vēljoprojām) vienalga. Vispār, kā izrādās, diezgan daudzi no vieņiem zīmē. Gandrīz puse. Anyways. Tajā vakarā arī piedalījos tusiņā un viss bija ok!. Lai gan nākamajā rītā pamodos pusbeigta, es pamanījos dienai izsprukt cauri dzīva. (Mana recepte: Pamodos sešos, gāju skriet, lai gan lija lietus (man tač patīk, kad līst), ielīdu upē, iegāju dušā un biju darbspējīga.) Tajā dienā gan pēc brokastīm, gan pēc pusdienām devos gulēt. Vajadzēja. Vienkārši vajadzēja. Nu jā, pēdējās dienas bija foršas. Nedaudz palīdzēju dekorēt ēdamzāli priekš Sirsniņballes un nu jau man bija cilvēki ar ko parunāt nedaudz sakarīgākas sarunas par, teiksim: "Ko tu gribi? Pa purnu dabūsi?" (Tas man un Mācītājām, un Smalkajam bij tāds prikols...) Nu jā.. Nometne beidzās sestdien. Vakrā tusējām kā nelabi. Dzērām, maisījām dzēroienus = preparējām burku, dejojām (daudz dejojām), dziedājām līdzi dziesmām, zīmējām, ēdām saldējumu, vēlāk dalījām burku. (es gan dalīšanā nepiedalījos zināmu iemeslu dēļ). Mēs staigājām apkārt pa nometnes teritoriju ar savām glāzēm/pudelēm/burkām un... pļāpājām gan savā starpā, gan ar citiem (aāā, mēs Valdi ar uzmodinājām (vārds nav mainīts)) :D tas bija jautri. Galvenais, ka mums bij vienalga. Viņš uz Latviju došoties kaut kad novembrī. Bet nu jā, nav būtiski. Nu jā, mēs šur tur arī padziedājām. Tad Garais (vārds mainīts) dabūja par mani pasmieties. Strādniece (mainīts vārds) pazaudēja savus zīmuļus un savu victorinox nazi.. Un es pamanījos novelties veinā no pasatigām, bij slidena zāle, slīpums, kāja neveiksmīgi paslīdēja un skaidrais dzēriens manā glāzē nonāca uz manām biksēm. Kad mana pudele tika brālīgi iztukšota un burka tika vairākkārt nogaršota, un kāda aliņš tika nelāgā kārtā izdzerts, es sapratu, ka vajadzētu dzert ūdeni, ja vien pasākumu nevēlējos nobeigt nepatīkamā veidā. ...
Bija apmēram piecu un galva jau šķita, ka ir skaidra, vismaz gana, jo es sapratu, ka jāsakarto ēdamzāle un virtuve. Strādiene un pārējie aizgāja gulēt. Es savācu, izslaucīju, satīrīju abas telpas un nomazgāju traukus Prāta Vētras mūzikas pavadībā! [ :) ] Tad devos gulēt un plkst. radīja īsi pirms sešiem, kad beidzot iemigu pidžammā, savā guļammaisā vietā, kur orģināli bija paredzēts čučēt. Nākamajā rītā (tobiš pēc dažām stundām) man bija jābūt virtuvē gatavai palīdzēt visu savākt, samazgāt pēdējos traukus, sakārtot, lai virtuve ir gatava nākamā gada nometnei, bet lai pirms tam visus traukus neapķēza kādas žurkas vai vēl nezkādi bezkaunīgi zvēri. Pēdējos pārtikas krājumus pārdeva tiem, kas vēlējās tos iegādāties. Man bija jāpalīdz satīt traukus un, protams, nomazgāt tis, kas ir netīri. Bija plkst. viens. Mamma bij ienājusi sacīja, ka divos nobrauks gar leilo māju, lai var savākt manas mantas, lai varam doties mājās. MāJāS??? Savācu savas mantas un nonesu lejā. lasīju, aizmigu. Biju pāgurusi. Mani uzmodināja mamma un tad Tašpuks man palīdzēja aiznest mantas uz auto. Vistuvē bija Valdis. He he he. Sarunu nesāku. Pateicu vien diezgan neizteiksmīgu 'čau'. Bet vēlāk, kad ienācu atpakaļ lielajā māja viņš apvaicājās kā mums vakar gājis. teicu, ka bija labi un, ka atvainojos par negaidīto uzmodināšanu.. Tas esot bijis ap pisdieviem un mēs esot sacījušas, ka nāksim ciemos vēl trijos. Bet neviena no mums to neatcerējās, un labi vien bija. :DD Novēlēju viņam patīkamu palikšanu un devos uz mašīnu. Ceļā nedaudz sanāca pagulēt, lai gan Tašpuks nedaudz iedeva paklausīties dažas dziesmas, (kas, starpcitu, atgādināja vakardienu).. Bet es domāju par otrdienu. Par kārtējo lidojumu pāri lielajām dīķim un Rīgas gaisa baudīšanu, un draugu satikšanu. .. Un Un Un.. galvenais, ka prom no MaJāM. Tagad tik vēl jāsakārto drēbas un mantas, kas vajadzīgas būs un un un ... man nāk miegs. Ir gandrīz viens. Vispār bija laba sajūta tikt pie neta! Divas nedēļas tomēr ir diezgan daudz. It sevišķi vasarā. Un, protams, Liels padlies visiem, kas padarīja šīs divas nedēļas tik foršas (es vārdus nemainīšu, lai pati atcerētos): Dāvids, Dāgs, Inga, Aija, Lāsma, Andra, Jānis, Ingrīda, Lauma, Inta, Daina, Edis, Pēteris, Ināra, Aldis, Ēriks, Dārija, Edijs, Valdis, Ernijs, Viktors, Ilze, Tomas, Selga, daži nometņotāji: Laura, Dārija, Aleks B, Dainis, Zintis, Daila, Emīls, Aleks, Matīs, Marta, Līva, Ariana, Aldis, Paulis, Andris, un pusītis, kura vārdu neatminos, un, un, un,... tā es varētu turpināt un turpināt, bet es tomēr apstāšos ...

Tātad, tagad mans vārds ir mans vārds, tiem, kas nezin, tas ir marta. un man ir vārda diena tagad, tā kā sveicat mani, dodat daudz bučas un "kontrobandu". ;)


***
Sestdienas dziesmu tops:
1. Black Eyed Peas - I Gotta a Feeling
2. Flo Rida -Right Round
3. R.E.M. - Nightswimming

***

Tiekamies Rīgā!..

par to kā ir

Tātad, Lācis nokritizēja manu jauno vārdu. Bet man patīk, vienkārši gribējās ko jaunu. ;)
Un vispār vakar ar Lāci dikti forši papļāpājām, buča viņai!

Vakar vakarā ar Tašpuku un dažiem citiem cilvēkiem bijām spēlēt biljardu! Bija forši, es ar nedaudz paspēlēju! Jā, jā, lai gan teicu, ka nespēlēšu mani tomēr pierunāja. Mājās biju nedaudz pēc vieniem, tad piesēdos pie IC un iepostoju, bet šķiet, ka būtu bijis labāk nerakstīt nekā! :DDD

Šodien braucu uz Tērvetes nometni indēt bērnus. Būšu prom DIVAS nedēļas. Bez neta, bet telefona (jo zonas tur nav pat ne drusciņ!!!) Brīvajā laikā plānoju lasīt, socializēties, peldēt, gurķoties un un un.. tad jau redzēs, kad atbraukšu, tad arī izstāstīšu kā gāja.

Lai jums jauka jūlija nogale.. āā, šo tu vari nelasīt, es sev tik atgādinu, ka vajadzēs nomainīt vārdu pirms 27, lai varu ieskaitīt savu vārda dienu! ;) hi hi

...hmmm man laikam labs garīgais, varbūt, ka tas tāpēc, ka līst(?)... ;)


(:

slapjas bučas jums visiem!

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