Showing posts with label tu. Show all posts
Showing posts with label tu. Show all posts

Sunday, 1 June 2014

May, Wait, What, June?

Ok, if I was to have a child now I'd call it June, because it came unexpectedly.
Ha, bad humour stops here.


Dear Bob,

I own you an apology. I know it's been a while, but they say it's better late than never, so here is my apology. Bob (if that even is your real name), we met a very long time ago. Some years back. It was when I was still living in Ottawa. You most likely don't recall but we met in Rideau Center shopping mall in the food court. That day we both were there to attend an improv-everywhere event, the banana war. Remember now? Yes, it was funny, hilarious even. Random people shooting each other with bananas.

And so I found it, your iPod. Yes! It was me, I took it home, I could have went looking for you, Bob, but I didn't. I just swiftly put it in my pocket.
For four years I never touched it, never even tried to switch in on. And then one fine day, thousands miles away from Ottawa, I charged that little thing, and now it's me who is listening to all those songs on your list.

I bet you went looking for it on that day. But I want to apologize. And I want to thank you, Bob! Yeah, I like the small blue thingy, I think it will become a good friend of mine, and my laptop. Yeah, we'll all be good friend. But not you, only a tiny ghost of you remains.

But Bob, why is the memory space so small, huh?

Never yours,
me.

P.S. Clearly, I won this banana war.

Sunday, 6 April 2014

Letter

Dear,
It's hard to be here so far away from you. I am distancing myself, it's a defence mechanism, there is nothing I can do to stop it. When I'm with you, I'm there 100% and more. When we're together I embrace every second I'm there. I smile at you so much it hurts my cheeks. The day blends together with night, there is no time; it's just moments we get to spend together. 
I go through my day thinking about you. I wonder what I would be telling you now, or how I'd be playing with your hair. I fly away remembering how beautiful your kisses feel.
But then I trail away to reality - I'm here, and you're there - far away. And I wonder what you are doing, what you are not telling me, and what you are telling me. I wonder how tough is work for you, and how evil your boss is this day. I wonder how your family is doing. I wonder if all the things you tell me are true. I wonder about when I might see you again.. That is, of course, if I ever will see you again. I wonder how badly I want to see you smile. And then, again, I wonder if all that is the truth. 
I want to quit, and I want to leave it be. But then again, I don't want to hurt you (that is, if all what you say is the truth). I thought I could handle this, I thought it would be so much easier, but it's not. And as time goes by, it only becomes harder to bare. I want to smile when I think of you, but yet there is this tiny tear that meets the corners of my eyes. I dream for all the adventures we might be going on, but then I think of how I will back out on the last moment. I dream. Yes, lately you've even showed up in my dreams, and then I wake up all rested in the morning. I wake up well, but then I open my eyes and you're not there next to me. You're far, far away. 
I wish I had the strength to tell you this, because there are so very little things that are left unsaid. I feel well with you, and I feel like I can actually trust you. But then there are moments when doubt arises and it brings me to tears. Everything is so uncertain. 
But I will stay here, at times I'll be all for you, but other times I'll let a call from you go astray, even though hearing your voice is like a raindrop in a desert.

I'm here now, 
but I believe it will not be for long,
truly yours... 

Saturday, 9 July 2011

Man nav jūtu.

Esmu birokrāts, man ir zelta atslēgas un man ir durvis. Durvīs zelta slēdzene.

Es kā baņķieris zinu pareizos skaitļus un īstās kombinācijas. Es varu atlikt sev un tev naudu. Es varu tā mazliet, un varu arī vairāk.

Kā bezgaršīgs vakara pīrāgs es maku sabojāt tev omu.

Kā melojums, vai kā patiesie vārdi, es spēju panākt, ka notici visam ko manas lūpas loka.

Esmu tev kā brokastu tēja. Zāļu vai melnā, vienalga. Klāt puskarote sāls. Šoreiz bez pipariem, neesi pelnījis, mīļais.

Novītusi zāle. Nodedzināta kūla. Nodeguši skudras radi. Nodedzis tavs zirgu stallis. Nav bēdās, zirgi sen nosperti; tos nospēra zibens.

Tu man esi draugs. Es tev kā draugs draugam saku, man šodien nav jūtu.

Sunday, 7 November 2010

confused

I know that it's wordless weekend, but I just need to give a hint of how I feel. At the moment I'm very confused and I don't know what's going on in my head. Things are getting more and more complicated.

I keep pushing him away, but at the same time I wish there was a missed call or a text message from him.


image source: zparks.lv/images/text/W880_01.jpg