Kur paliek tās dvēseles, kas apmaldās?

Šķiet, ka pagājusi mūžības laika tiesa kopš pēdējo reizi te kas rakstīts. Kā gan dzīvē tā gadās, ka neilgā laika posmā viss šķiet pavisam savādāk. Kas tā bija par meiteni, kas te gadiem ilgi bārstija savus domu graudus? Kur gan noklīdusi viņas dvēselīte?

Ir vērtības, kas no tiesas nemainās. Tēja, kā vienmēr, patīk vairāk remdena kā verdoša. Ceļošanai parasti nav nepieciešams nekas daudz vairāk par ērtiem apaviem un pasi. Kaķi ir forši. Mūžīgi mācos.
Bet ir dziļš dvēseles miers, tas Violai, Lolai, Lanai (..) nekad nebija. Viņa nesaprata kā ir, kad ir forši pat tad, kad liekas, ka visa pasaule brūk un jūk. Viņa uztraucās par to zemi zem kājām, kas grima, bet ne par debesu loku, kas pēkšņi pavērās, kad uzplauka spārni. Viņai tie spārni laikam vēl nebija. Tie nāk ar gadiem.
Vienmēr ir tāds nemiers prātā un garā, bet es zinu kur atrodas labie emociju viļņi.

From Here to There

November finally arrived. But before that end of October happened. On the last Wednesday of October I went to "trim" my hair. It is now half the length it was. (It is still long though!)

On Thursday it was a tough day at uni. But after that I had a nice lunch with a couple of my friends. Then later, in the evening, I was visiting my brother for his birthday dinner. It was great to see my niece again. She is growing rapidly. We stayed there till late and were home a bit after midnight. It ended up being a long night with packing, shower, doing laundry, and tiding up the mess I had produced in the last few months. I got to bed at six in the morning. My alarm was set for 7:30. I woke up 5 minutes before it went off.

Now it was Friday, the very day that I was patiently waiting for. That's the day when, what should be the greatest trip if my life so far, was about to begin. I flew to Lisbon to see my boyfriend. He was waiting for me at the arrivals, with a flower! :) We seized the last bit of the day we had by going a bit out in the city. Again, arriving after midnight home, we started packing, this time Pedro's things. It went a bit hectic, but by four in the morning we were fast asleep.

With most things packed we let ourselves sleep so we would be somewhat rested for our first flight together. With everything ready to go, bags and bikes packed, Pedro went to get his father and then we drove to the airport. At the check in we had a bit of a scare, the lady at the Emirates desk said that I could only get a 15 day visa for our final destination, so she could not. Check us in because we had our return flights only in 5 weeks. But luckily we had purchased another flight for us for while on the trip, so we had theoretical proof that we'll be leaving Thailand before the 15 days expire. With all that settled we now had to pass our bikes through the oversized luggage scanner, and help the woman working there bring the bike boxes to the other side. :D  We then bought some wine and headed for our gate. The flight was long, more than seven hours. And at Dubai we were not able to land because the airport was busy, so we took an extra minutes just circulating above Dubai. We landed passed two at night local time. Luckily our CS host Jihad was still waiting for us at the airport to take us to his place. With him was another surfer, Vaidas. This guy is from Lithuania, but has also lived in Norway, and in Canada for several years. Now he was on his journey to see every country in the world!! At our host's place we had a quick chat but soon went to sleep. It had been a long day!

We all slept in even though that was not the plan. We planned to leave the apartment by 10, but Jihad had to be in work. He had called work that he would be late, but because he sounded ill, his colleague said to stay home for the day. So now he was our awesome "sick" driver and tour guide. He really turned out to be one of the best hosts ever! Impressive!
We got to see some of Dubai. Before our flight we met an old colleague of Pedro's, had a nice quick dinner. And then our host drove us to the airport. We found our terminal, our boarding gate, and we were ready to take off for Bangkok!

And that is where we are right now. :)

TWO

Because one big trip in one summer is not enough, I'll be having another one. This time I'll be using a different mode of transportation, hitchhicking. It shall be yet another great adventure. Also, this time I will not be travelling alone. Next Friday we begin our trip, and it will take about three weeks. I'm very excited, but I have a lot to do before next Friday, hope I manage most of it!!!

Off to work tomorrow, so I should get to bed... at one point. :D

One-Way Track

I've been on this trip for almost a month now. I'm sad that it will be over. This time has allowed me to think, think so far out of the box, so far from what I had been used to..
Often I think about the choices we make in life. We make them every second of every day, even in our dreams we still make choices. Then we see the outcome. We buy a new shirt, and we see that it looks good on us, and people like it. We say something controversial and someone in the crowd reassures that that is a great way of thinking. We decide to speak to a stranger, and he turns out to be a wonderful person. We take no umbrella when the weather-man said it will rain, and it turns out to be sunny all day. We decide to cross the street on a red light because we see no cars around. .. But what is the choices we make bring bad consequences? WHAT IF the shirt we got will look bad on you? What if no one back up your opinion? What if the stranger turns out to be a psychopath? What if it starts raining cats and dogs on a day when you don't take the umbrella? What if a car comes from around the corner and doesn't see you when you cross on that red signal?

Life is so trivial, so fragile, the smallest things can change who you are and what you will do. But how can you know if you make the right choices in life? By trying of course, you should always try new things, take the risk. You will either succeed or you will gain experience and some sort of perspective. You will then try again, try something different, or try a different approach. But what if it is too late? What if the choice we made is there for good, can't be undone, or altered? What if we make the wrong choice and see it when it's already too late? We go down a one way track and there is no way back.

I like to think that there is a way out - through different doors. I believe it's important to not get stuck, there is always a way out. There is always new things to try, new journeys to be made. So it comes down to DOING things, to stay out of the comfort zone, to try new things, taking risks. It comes down to changing yourself by yet another gram. One day I will not know who I was, I will be a different person. This journey has changed me a lot, it has proved to me things I never knew possible, it has showed me how possible it is to do something when you actually get up and try. It has given me hope about people and myself. Most importantly, it has risen doubts about things I always was very certain of.

Honesty

To all the haters and non-believers.
There is no such thing as impossible. That's what winners call giving up. "Quitters never win, winners never quit." You can all tell me otherwise. You can keep calling me crazy, because that's what I am.

But it's hard to always stay strong. It's hard to stay positive when no one has the courage to back me up and believe in me. It's hard that instead of supporting me, helping me you do the exact opposite.

For every gram of strength I gain, there is someone who hatefully takes it away. I need all support possible, but even the people who I expect it from are simply not there for me.
"The worst part about being strong is that no one ever asks if you’re okay."
I'm trying so hard to transfer all that negative energy into more will power.

Despite you all, I still believe in myself, and there is no way you can take that away from me. You can try, and it ill only make me stronger. "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger."

One day this will all be gone and I will remember that I did something that others would never even think of doing. I am, and will be different. I will succeed.

I remain as the girl that said goodbye before saying hello. I will be gone and most of them will not even remember my name or my face. But I'd like to think that they will remember something, a small thing I did or said. Everyone I've met has helped me to form the person I am today, they all have made changes, alterations, if you will. Some for better, some for worse, either way I am here now the way I am. And I'm happy not because I like my life or everything around me. But I'm happy because of the way I can make people feel. It is power, it is a special trait. I know I've made people feel bad, but I've also made people feel good. It is a conscious choice how you treat people. It doesn't just come as an instinct. It is your choice how you make others feel. It is your words and your action that matter. You simply have to pick the right people, you simply have to pick the right people..


So here I am now, ready to yet again say goodbye. I'll put on that smile. I will walk tall. I will make you all believe that I am happy. But it's important that the message is out there I will miss these days, I will miss the people, and the comfort I am in. I am scared for it all, and I know things will be tough. I know I will struggle during the journey and after it. Couple of very hard months are coming right up. But I know that I will be proud of myself. And in the end of the story called life, it will all be worth it. "Nothing worth having comes easy."

I'll prove them all wrong!

Cycle

"Life is like riding a bicycle, to keep your balance you must keep moving."

And that I will do.
I'm planing to get back on my bicycle, just this time i'll be better prepared.
So here I will make a list of things that I have, things that are on the way and things that I still should purchase.

-Spare Tube
-Tools
-Travel Insurance

-Pannier
-Rack
-Speedometer
-Mudguards
-Padded Shorts
-Safety Vest
-Gloves
-First Aid Kit
-Emergency Blanket
-Handlebar Ends

-Helmet
-Lock
-LP

Čukst

Gar vecām rindu mājām aiztek emociju vilnis. Es rakstu tev vēstuli. Domās tā jau sen ir aploksnē ar marku, apzīmogota un ceļā uz tavu Ģertrūdes ielu. Bet patiesībā tā nav. Patiesība ir nedaudz novītusi, nav papīra lapas. Rezerves pildspalvai beigusies tinte, un nepietiek naudas, lai iegādātos markas. Pavisam atklāti, arī īstie vārdi vēl nav piemeklēti. Bet te nu es esmu, rakstu tev vēstuli.

Vakar sākās aukstuma stundas. Tās vairs nebūs skaitāmas, tas vairs nebūs noslepkavots vasaras karstums. Būs parasts ziemeļu rudens, pat pārejas posms tiek izlaists. Arī brīnumi kā atvasara šai malā nenotiek.

Iedalītas ir domāšanas kārtis. Nekas nav paredzams. Ak, ko melo, paredzams ir viss, bet Antiņam bail kāpt stikla kalnā. Tur nepieciešama vīza, un jāsakrāj daudz zelta. Tomēr impulsi dzen uz vēl neesošām robežām. Tie dzen mani tālāk no tevis. Nebēdā draugs, es arī no citiem plašumiem sūtīšu tev vēstules.