Spring.

 It's 2022, no 2023, no, it's 2024. 

It has been a while since I last plundered here with my intrusive thoughts and left nothing behind but nonsense. Life is the same... Same, same, but different. There have been some ghostly sightings, aka some saved drafts that were never published, none of which I deemed to be rational enough for other people's eyes (and minds). There is a cat in my lap, she keeps demanding cuddles, so typing is becoming somewhat of a challenge. My thoughts are scrambled enough, and I do not require more distractions. 

As the title hints, it is springtime. Green grass, flowers blooming, trees coming in with fresh coats. It's a wonderful time of the year and all that jazz. 

Many thoughts are racing in my mind, and most of them are too personal for the vast cosmos called The Internet. So I do not really know why I stumbled to this far corner of my existence. Do you know?

I'll just tell you what I've been up to without deeper context, shall I?

Had a day off today. Went to Edinburgh to do some dancing with the Dindaru Dandaru folks. Tried to get cat food my cats like, so there is enough for them to nom nom while we're away next week. The shop didn't have it, so that will be tomorrow's mission to complete. Did some laundry. Did some research on these new meds I'll be taking, and that took up a lot more time than I initially thought, but I feel like the knowledge base is decent now. Still have to go pack for our wee trip away. 

Work has been alright. We have some new staff starting this month, training, and all that, super fun (naaaaat). I do not think my patience is mature enough for such tasks, but hey, I can do it, nae bother. Small menu changes coming our way. Just your usual work-related things that are absolutely irrelevant to anyone who isn't actually working there too.  

The never-ending studies are looming to a dreadful culmination in a few months. 

Our two beautiful cats are doing well, not getting along, but doing well on their own turf and terms. 

Husbandito is doing well, busy working and volunteering with the Cubs, having a good time. 

We went to see a couple movies from the Glasgow Film Festival. That was fun. And tomorrow we leave for a small trip to chillax and escape the routine a bit. 

Life is good. I guess that's what I wanted to say. It's a little mundane, but I love it. 

Bye now, see you in another year or so. (?)

Peachy July Thoughts

The other day we went to Lidl to get some shopping done. Life has turned upside down for everyone in 2020, hasn't it? We got our facemasks, and into the shop we went. There it's been a while now that we have wear some sort of face cover in shops, so many now think that it does not apply to them. Rules are clearly made to be broken. People don't seem to care about others' personal space, and even less now. Everyone acts as if we're not in this together.
We got our shopping done, I got some peaches, but still a bit tough, so will be good a few days later. Got a nice sticky toffee pudding for my name day celebration.
On the Saturday we celebrated our "would be our wedding day". We got Paesano pizza takeaway and wine, and cheesecake from Tesco. Not usually a fan of cheesecakes, but this one was with passion fruit and raspberries, sweet but tangy. Kinda like life is, and what I expect married life to be.
Even though we didn't actually get married, it still feels like an important time in our relationship. And it's maybe even better, because we know for sure what we want, to be together. People get cancelled weddings for far worse reasons, right? At least we still got each other. ❤️

Man sāp tava galva.

I was going to write in English today, but this title "Man sāp tava galva" doesn't really translate into English well. Best I could think of is "Your head hurts mine," maybe you have a better suggestion?

I'm going to try and be as honest as my fingers and mind will let me. 

I just realised that I haven't changed my facebook profile picture since January of this year. It lead me to thinking why so? and the immediate answer is that I like to change it after I've travelled somewhere new. But the truth is travel hasn't really been feasible this year. 2019 has had immense ups and downs.. Where to begin?

A couple of good friends left work earlier this year, and I got to step into one of their shoes - I got promoted. I had been looking for such change for a while now as I had hit a wall in a sense that responsibilities had become dull.

I signed up to continue studies at OU.

My amazing boyfriend popped the question, and we're getting married next year.


I went to see ENT doctor as my referral from mouth doctor finally came through. Many tests and scans later ....
Tuned out that the lump that had been growing in my neck for years was cancer, or as doctors like to call it carcinoma. Whatever, I call it The C word as the other two arise awkwardness in people. But that's just the beginning! Thyroid cancer is fairly rare. There are four main types, papillary (8 out of 10 cases), follicular (1 out of 10 cases), medullary (1 out of 10 cases) and anaplastic (very rare, more aggressive 1 in 50 cases). While thyroid cancer is more common in women, that is the case only for the first two types. The other two affect men and women equally. The one I had/have is medullary. As the cause and location of the four is different, so is the treatment. However, the primary treatment is surgical removal of the carcinoma. So I was scheduled for that and it was done in May. Medullary thyroid cancer doesn't have specific treatment afterwards as it will differ from case to case. For me, they will monitor calcitonin and CEA levels in my blood forever and if/when they go too high they do something about it. According to the doctor this will happen relatively soon, but they can't know when or where. Then it's either further surgery and/or trial drugs that seem to be doing wonders, but then again, who knows? As the reason for my C is a genetic condition these new drugs should work as they target the RET gene.

So, yes, as it turns out I have an extremely rare genetic mutation (it is hereditary, however I am a de novo case as neither of my parents have it). It is called MEN2B (or MEN3) - Multiple endocrine neoplasia tybe 2b. MEN has different types, and, of course, I have one of the rare ones, because if I have a very rare genetic mutation, why not make it the super rare one? Well, funnily enough this explains ALL the weird things about my body now and while I was growing up. I won't go into them just now, but I would like to finish on a slightly more positive note.

Knowing that I have this rare condition has given me some sort of peace. It explains literally everything that has made me feel like an outsider all my life, and reading all those symptoms has made me feel like I belong somewhere. So through facebook I have found different groups and people; and even people with the same condition. Yes, they are across the world, but I have people to chat to that understand me, and I can understand them.

My now fiance has been my Rock, and my family have been amazingly supportive! ❤

Well this has been me procrastinating, back to the books!

Publish? save.

I don't make stuff up (aka sources)

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/thyroid-cancer/

https://www.cancer.org/cancer/thyroid-cancer/about/what-is-thyroid-cancer.html

https://www.macmillan.org.uk/information-and-support/thyroid-cancer/understanding-cancer/types-of-thyroid-cancer/medullary-thyroid-cancer.html#12767

https://www.cancer.net/cancer-types/multiple-endocrine-neoplasia-type-2

Janvāris.

Laimes dalīšana.
Kur man likt visu šo laimīti? Kaklā iekārt? Iebērt burkā, vai pienaglot pie sienas, lai neaizbēg?
Vēlos jums visiem novēlēt šo laimi, jo kur gan es viens pats ar tik daudz laimi likšos? Man nav vietas, kabatas plīst jau pušu. Un es gribu, lai visiem tiek neliela laimes kripatiņa. Gribu, lai katram tiek lērums laimes, lai iemirdzas prieks, vēl gaišāks kā Ziemassvētku brīnums. Es gribu iekrāsot pasauli vēl neredzētos toņos. Gribu, lai cilvēki redz, ka patiesai laimei vajag ļoti, ļoti nedaudz. Un vajag, lai ir grūti, lai katru dienu ir par ko cīnīties, jo tas dod vēlmi novērtēt visu labo, kas tev ir. Es tā gribu, lai tu saproti manu domu - lai nepārproti mani. Nekad nebūs viegli, ja gribi patiesu laimi, tev tā ir jāizprot un jānovērtē. Citādi, tā kā smiltis izskries caur pirkstiem.
Viss, es eju būt laimīgs.

Le Birthday's Approaching

These days nothing really comes as a surprise, it's been a while since I felt really surprised about something.
Life is changing, a lot. The passed few months have really been a roller-coaster with some real bad downs and some fascinating ups. It's been difficult to stay positive at times, but with the right attitude and while keeping great people close to me, I have managed to come to where I am at now. September, it has arrived. Yet another September. While in school, it used to mean a new beginning. But this time I am having a new beginning without having to go to school. It's ANOTHER start. It's yet another section starting.
I've had more fresh starts than many people combined. Maybe that's what is my thing, starting things anew. Heck knows.

And yes, birthday is approaching, it will be next week. This year it will be a bit special. ;)

Well. My thoughts are still a mess, but some things I am more certain about than others, so that's marvellous.

Song for the mood these days: Arctic Monkeys - Do I Wanna Know? 

"'Cause there's this tune I found
That makes me think of you somehow
And I play it on repeat
Until I fall asleep"