Letter to me

 Radio Edit 

Hello, dear Dragonfly, 

It's me, Dragonfly. If you're reading this, then things may have gotten worse. 

I need you to remember that walk we shared in the big park back home. I need you to remember that feeling you had when sitting on the pier. Remember the warm, peaceful wind running through your hair. Remember the birds singing. Remember the sun softly burning your skin, piercing your eyes. Remember the sound of the small waves crashing in. Remember the smell of the air, how it so easily filled up your lungs. Remember how you could take a breath that felt like could last you forever. Just remember that sense of peace. That sense of time standing still. Just remember how we sat there together and the rest of the world did not matter. Take that deep breath. Take in that feeling of freedom and peace. Never let go of that feeling, it is what keeps us alive. 

October

The damn time is playing an endless game with me. I just can not catch up. My skull is itchy. The white organic tea (my favourite(?)) is getting cold. The second chocolate chip cookie is lying next to me waiting to be consumed. The weather outside has noticeably gotten colder. When walking at night I see cars covered in water vapour. The sun would be long gone. The mountains that could be seen during the day are gone, almost as if they set with the sun. It's odd. Every year the seasons play this funky game with us, and every year we see it with new eyes. I wonder if this feeling that takes over is one of the good ones, or the ones that should be avoided. It's cold. But I suppose it doesn't necessarily have to be a negative thing. Right?

Sorry, not sorry. I tend to talk to myself like that.

The other day I remembered that a couple months ago I purchased a discounted mixer. That made me think that I would like to make a nice tiramisu cake. But then I remembered that I had purchased some form the shop not more than a week ago. So I decided to forget about that thought. But here I am going through the layers of my memory.

I keep reading these unending travel articles online. We do get the news that we ask for. As it seems, I have surrounded myself in everything travel related. It's my addiction. I can never get enough. They say it makes people happy.

And then this other article one of the most common regrets of dying people was that they wished they had traveled more. That makes me think it will be one off the list once I get older. But I don't really believe in regretting things. I am who I am because of what has and hasn't happened to me in my life so far. And every now and then I meet people that I feel embarrassed for and I think to myself how glad and happy, and lucky I am not to be like that. Sound a bit rude? Maybe arrogant? So what?Everyone is a little. At least I know I'm not perfect. And I am fine with it.

I thought this would be a constructive post, but I ended up babbling about everything and nothing all at the same time. Oh well.

All that because it's October.
Heck, it's October.

And no one woke me up when September ended.
Shame on you.

How I Realized that I Enjoy Life

Life is beautiful and I like it. It's my one love that will be with me till the end.


This post comes as a surprise to myself (and maybe some others). I look sad, and my mind tends to be on a very strange vibration. I am somewhat masochistic, I like pain and suffering. But why?
Pain in beautiful. I like it because it makes me feel alive. It makes makes me appreciate the times when I don't suffer.

Back to the point. How I came to realize that I enjoy life. I like people, I don't, but I do. I manage to find something good about everyone and I concentrate on those things. That's why I can't say that I hate anyone. Some would call that being an ass-kisser. But I don't care. I believe that everyone has their pros.

People are not the only things that I can always view in a positive light. That happens to everything. Yes! Everything is beautiful. When ever people ask me about my favourite things (music, city, county, city, food, drink, pass time....) I always say that either I like a lot of things or I name a few. Why, because everything has it's good part. For example, favourite dish, I love food and I enjoy all kinds of flavours, how can I pick just one dish? 

So I've realized that there is always something good and positive, no matter what the thing, idea, situation .. is. And I see it because I enjoy viewing life from a genuine viewpoint. Of course I see bad things all the time, but if I concentrate on them more than the good things I will end up being sad and radiating negative energy.

I've said it. Life is beautiful. And I have no shame of saying it now when I am at an extremely low point in life. Because pain too can be beautiful, and knowledge that it will be better makes me happy.


Keep on livin' homies.

Day 23

It's no secret that I simply love travelling. To be more precise, in a way I'm addicted to travelling. I have been to over 30 countries worldwide, and I can not wait to see more places, to meet more interesting people and to experience new cultures. Here's a short extract from my last trip..



Day 23 of travelling non-stop.

Honestly, first thing that comes to mind is how exhausting it is, it's truly exhausting. But adventurous and addictive at the same time. Like a new drug you start using and now can't live a day without it.
You might wonder what exactly is exhausting. For starters, meeting new people. When travelling by hitchhiking, and meeting people via Couch Surfing, socializing is a must. You can hate it, but why hate it if you can choose to love it? It's never boring hearing other people stories and adventures, and experiences. Your mind opens more and more each day. You become a sponge that soaks up everything that surrounds you. You become immune to discomfort and to the annoying things. You become like a bridge, many cross your path, you both get something out of the experience. You build tolerance for the world around you.
When you start to travel, you think you'll find answers, but the truth is more and more questions arise and nothing seems certain any more. Your shoes are worn out, the sole is falling off and the stiches are falling apart. But the memories they carry and their comfort are good enough reasons to not toss them away. Your clothing becomes worn out. You wear pretty much the same thing for a week..and do so until you run out of clean clothing. You realize that even though your luggage is small, there are still things that you have not used.
My favorite jeans became so worn out that I had to change them and leave them behind in some public restroom. I've been lucky many times, I feel uncomfortable saying I'm unlucky because suddenly a string of bad events happen. I know that things can change around any second. They can get better or worse... Either way, I know I will get through it. Nothing really comes as a big surprise.
Good weather makes the day brighter, while not-so-good weather is great for a change, for a challenge... Sometimes it simply works as a reasons to bring out the warmer clothes. It gives a good reasons to wonder in a museum, quite shop or even the local library (even though most books are in a language I don't speak.)
My face is covered in freckles because of the amount of time I have spent outside. A 5 km walk seems like a piece of cake because I walk about 20 almost every day. Sometimes I get a feeling I know other cities better than my own. I love trying local cuisine.
I do feel exhausted, but the will to keep going is too strong to stop.
I've stolen a beer jug, I've went on tram rides without buying a ticket. I have lied to people and made some of them sad. But the truth is, for most people I will be just a memory, at best, they might remember my name.. But that's not very likely. But I will not remember their names either. I will recall their stories, and I will remember how I felt when with them.
But in the end I know I'll be alone. And, if I'm lucky, I might remember my own name and where I am from.

Let's Talk About it - The Awkward Silence

Somehow a recent chat with a friend brought up the feel about awkward silences. She said that a guy-friend of hers had told her that it's nice to talk to her as there are no awkward silences.

And so I remembered the years when I was in Canada. If you do not know, here's a fact about Canadians: They simply hate the so called awkward silences. They have this constant urge to fill in every second with words. It is like a plague. And if they fail to produce a sound, they, of course, have to apologize for it! It's quite ridiculous. As for me, I'm Latvian, we are very different from Canadians. We like to be quite, and we like to keep to ourselves, some more than others, but in comparison, most Latvians will not like if you talk non-stop.

So very often when I would be in a room with one or more Canadians, they would feel pressured to talk. And, naturally, they expected everyone else to pitch into the conversation. When I did not speak as much as they would like, I could see that they begun to feel uncomfortable. It was like someone was pinching them, or as if someone was saying something extremely controversial, or as if they really needed to use the toilet, but couldn't... like something was seriously bothering them. I have to admit that I made fun of this in my head. They have this urge to produce a useless conversation, it's like an addiction. And if it does not go as planned, they went ahead and kept talking.
What do they talk about, one might wonder.

Weather, that's a no briner. It's always changing, and so is a good chat material. You can talk about it at any given time, as the weather is a continuous thing. Winter is cold and filled with snow, summer is hot, fall is rainy....and so on.

Hockey! They either talk about their favourite teams, or if they don't like hockey, they will talk about how much they dislike hockey! They will also go as far as talking about equipment and different leagues and levels of hockey. All this talk will lead in talking about other kinds of sports (or the dislike of all other kinds of sports). I must add, though, that most Canadians do like sports! Now that, in my opinion, is a good and healthy thing!

They will also talk about what ever is happening around. If it's a chat at work or school they'll talk about tasks, meeting, classes, bosses, teachers, ....etc.

They also will compliment each other. Then the small talk goes into talking about where the certain thing was gotten and they will talk about that thing. For example, if I would have a scarf from a friend, the other person would say: "what a lovely scarf you have, looks good with that jacket! Where did you get it?" To this I will reply that I borrowed it from a friend. The other person would then say: "Oh, really? I do that too sometimes. Me and one of my friends, we swap and borrow things all the time." ... Well you get the point, don't you?

What is my say? I think people should not fill every moment with some pointless conversation. It is highly annoying, and brings no good. I like silences, I love them, and I feel perfectly comfortable when no one is saying anything. I think this should be practiced more often.

Maybe people fear their own thoughts and that's why if there is a silence, they have to call it awkward. ..

Where Did Viola Go?

As of January 7, 2015 I am no longer Viola, now I am Marta.
Why Marta, obviously because that is my real name. I have been living in some places online as Violeta Viola. But it's time I face the world as real me.


ALSO, of course, Happy New Year! :)

From Here to There

November finally arrived. But before that end of October happened. On the last Wednesday of October I went to "trim" my hair. It is now half the length it was. (It is still long though!)

On Thursday it was a tough day at uni. But after that I had a nice lunch with a couple of my friends. Then later, in the evening, I was visiting my brother for his birthday dinner. It was great to see my niece again. She is growing rapidly. We stayed there till late and were home a bit after midnight. It ended up being a long night with packing, shower, doing laundry, and tiding up the mess I had produced in the last few months. I got to bed at six in the morning. My alarm was set for 7:30. I woke up 5 minutes before it went off.

Now it was Friday, the very day that I was patiently waiting for. That's the day when, what should be the greatest trip if my life so far, was about to begin. I flew to Lisbon to see my boyfriend. He was waiting for me at the arrivals, with a flower! :) We seized the last bit of the day we had by going a bit out in the city. Again, arriving after midnight home, we started packing, this time Pedro's things. It went a bit hectic, but by four in the morning we were fast asleep.

With most things packed we let ourselves sleep so we would be somewhat rested for our first flight together. With everything ready to go, bags and bikes packed, Pedro went to get his father and then we drove to the airport. At the check in we had a bit of a scare, the lady at the Emirates desk said that I could only get a 15 day visa for our final destination, so she could not. Check us in because we had our return flights only in 5 weeks. But luckily we had purchased another flight for us for while on the trip, so we had theoretical proof that we'll be leaving Thailand before the 15 days expire. With all that settled we now had to pass our bikes through the oversized luggage scanner, and help the woman working there bring the bike boxes to the other side. :D  We then bought some wine and headed for our gate. The flight was long, more than seven hours. And at Dubai we were not able to land because the airport was busy, so we took an extra minutes just circulating above Dubai. We landed passed two at night local time. Luckily our CS host Jihad was still waiting for us at the airport to take us to his place. With him was another surfer, Vaidas. This guy is from Lithuania, but has also lived in Norway, and in Canada for several years. Now he was on his journey to see every country in the world!! At our host's place we had a quick chat but soon went to sleep. It had been a long day!

We all slept in even though that was not the plan. We planned to leave the apartment by 10, but Jihad had to be in work. He had called work that he would be late, but because he sounded ill, his colleague said to stay home for the day. So now he was our awesome "sick" driver and tour guide. He really turned out to be one of the best hosts ever! Impressive!
We got to see some of Dubai. Before our flight we met an old colleague of Pedro's, had a nice quick dinner. And then our host drove us to the airport. We found our terminal, our boarding gate, and we were ready to take off for Bangkok!

And that is where we are right now. :)

Wake Me Up When September Ends

September has floated away, it poured through the capsule of time like a raging waterfall. Seems that yesterday it begun and tomorrow's already October. The leaves are turning into countless unnamed colours. The sky is filled with clouds. Darkness falls in way too soon in the evenings and leaves much too late when the mornings come. At times I feel that the sun is playing an impossible game of hide and seek; there's no way of winning. I want to stop the time, if just for some seconds. I need to catch a breath. So many things happening all at once, like life is just flying right passed me. At some moments life seems like a train. My train is running in front of my eyes, and I'm not even on it! Can someone pull the emergency brake so I can hop on? Don't I have to be on the ride that's called "My Life"?

Now Playing: James Blunt - Tears and Rain

 

What is your soul made of? How far can someone go? How deep can one dig to find the truth? It scares me, it scares me that I might live just the one layer of this life, just the basic path to the grave. The idea of it makes me want to run free, run like a wild animal. I want to be able to think like a regular human being. Sometimes. Just sometimes I want to be like the rest of them. But the rest of the time I simply enjoy the complexity of it, makes me feel ... happy. (It's funny, because the exact same thing used to make me terribly sad.)

Bam! Too much thinking. Back to the basics - September's gone. This one, at least. Start of uni's over, birthday has passed, Scotland stays as a part of UK, war-like situation in Ukraine, utter shame on humanity in the Middle East... Ah, list goes on and on, September has been fairly eventful this year. Let's see what Mr October has in store for us!

Doing This and Doing That

For the first time ever, I truly can not explain my own actions. Usually everything I do made some sense on some sort of  (maybe even messed up) level. But now, now, now... it's a mayor mystery and it's beginning to bother me a lot.

Now Playing: The Doors - Riders On the Storm

State of Mind of Travel

Makes almost zero sense, the title I mean. BUT, as there always is a but, I am almost certain that I can explain what I mean.
There are several categories of travellers. But firs let's make general classifications. There's people who hate to travel, people who simply hate the idea of travelling, they feel safe and comfortable where they are, and travel causes them stress, discomfort, disorientation and general confusion. Unless necessary for survival, they choose to stay put in their space. Now I used to think that this is closed mindedness; I used to think that people who dislike travelling are simply too cool to see beyond their white-picket fence. However, I've met people who are well-educated about the world, people who do see the world beyond, but simply don't want to go there. They see it through history, through books, magazines, internet, TV, even from people who travel to them.... etc. And a wise person can get the gist of what a place is like by actually collecting information from various sources, and that is as far as their curiosity goes.
(As for me, the more I learn about a place the more tempted I am to see it in person!)
It used to be difficult for me to think that there are people who don't like travelling, since I want to see every corner of this world and even beyond. But a little questioning and inquisition gave me some insight in their way of thinking; to my surprise I can even understand it.
However, I can't skip the fact that there are people who don't travel because they are stubborn, and they refuse to even acknowledge that there is life beyond their corner of this universe. In my opinion, I can just let them be, because that kind of mind set is difficult to influence. But who knows, maybe it is healthier to not be curious about the world...never know.
Then there is the occasional traveller. They will travel once in a few years or once a year, and it will most likely be to visit old friends or distant relatives. They go to pretty much the same places, book the same airline company, already have the necessary currency from five years ago, when at the destination they see the same places and comment on how much it has or hasn't changed, they eat at the same restaurants as previous time, and they even order the same food. This is because they have been there, done that, there is plenty of certainty and they don't have to step outside their comfort zone too much. I will also place the all-inclusive type of travellers in this category. While they might go to some new places, they still travel occasionally and the comfort zone too is not flexible. They love the idea that you pay one fixed price, and you are pretty much carried from home to hotel and back. All they have to remember is to go relieve themselves when necessary. Also under this category I'll place the tag-along type of people. Someone invited them on a trip because they had a free spot, or had no one else to go with.. or a similar story. Now this category is most likely to complain if something is not as they expected, or something is different than it was. They hate surprises, they want it they way it was listed out for them/ the way they expected it to be.
There is the chance travellers. Their day-to-day schedule is so flexible that they could run away at any time of the day for any duration of time. Personally, I envy these type of people. While I myself am pretty flexible, there are certain things I can't run away from. So I can not always buy tickets one day before departure. These people have their e-mails full of news letters form various travel sites and airline companies. They find deals online, or from some place they are a member of. Maybe their friend had a free spot for a weeks long trip down South to go sunbathing, or to go up North to watch the Northern lights and chill in sauna for countless days. They are definitely not afraid to say YES! to any offer that flies at them. They have magical source of income, and all you see/hear is that they are yet at another corner of the world doing yet another random activity.
Then there is the party travellers, they don't care when they go, where they go, or who they go with, as long as there is booze, music, and maybe some other unknown substances, they will go there. They pack light, but they might have too much alcohol in their pannier and the other substance hidden in their shoes. You should be careful if you choose to travel with this type of person. He/she might cause you unnecessary troubles. Best solution would be to pretend to not know this person while going through airport security. Be even more careful if there's a dog or two with he guards. But on the location these peeps are loads of fun, they attract the best people in the area (best people for partying that is), and they somehow end up at the best places where to chill out all night long. Then they crash where-ever so you end up not spending a dime for accommodation. They will drain all your energy and you will be thankful for it.
There is also the solo-traveller, He/she can be a bit of everything, they might be in it for the fun, for new sightseeing places, for museums and galleries, or to meet local people they have never met before (and probably will never meet them again after their encounter). They don't mind travelling alone, quite the opposite, they love the freedom it gives. No need to arrange plans or argue about what to see next. They are flexible in a way that they will arrange the vacation so it is convenient for them, and why not, right?

Here is where the state of mind comes in. Almost 24/7 I think about travelling. I think about future travels, passed travels, possible travel plans, about types of travellers, about what kind of traveller I am, about the best way to travel, about special deals, about who to travel with.... etc.
Some people think of money, of work, of school, of family... my mind is primarily occupied with thoughts about travel. That's all for now. There is a good chance that I will post more about this.

The more I travel - the more I want to travel.

Don't Wake Me Up

If I actually do fall asleep in September, make sure to not wake me up.
I can't think straight. I honestly need some REAL rest from everything, yes - every fucking thing. I'm way too exhausted to be functioning as a real human being. I am physically and emotionally tired. I need space. I need time. I need to manage my time, so I can rest.
I have to decide what to do...

Never Old

Marilyn Monroe is forever young. 

There is no doubt that she was a fascinating your lady in her time. She was fabulous. She was broken-hearted, always in lack of love. Maybe that's what made her so appealing.
But one of the reasons why she is still such a Diva nowadays is that she died young. This was crime of her life, and also the event that made her live forever.
That's what we all know - she was young and fabulous, and so she remains as a woman under 36.

"Admired by men, envied by women."

From her last photo shoot with Bert Stern

 six weeks before August 5th, 1962.

SONGS II

In the past few weeks (ever since I puplished SONGS I) I have been compelling a list of songs that bring back good memories, or songs that I simply like a lot. So here is what I have for now minus the ones I have already posed in SONGS I.
Again, there will be no order to them, just a list of songs.

Evanescence - Bring me to life
Daft Punk - Get Lucky
Harry Nilsson - Put The Lime In The Coconut
Maroon 5 ft. Christina Aguilera - Moves Like Jagger
Robin Thicke ft. T.I., Pharrell - Blurred Lines
ABBA - Mamma Mia
Meat Loaf - I'd Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That)
Avril Lavigne - Sk8er Boi
Avril Lavigne - Complicated
Anastacia - Left Outside Alone
Flo Rida - Good Feeling
Ugly Kid Joe - Cats In The Cradle
Katzenjammer - A Bar In Amsterdam
Lori Liberman - Killing Me Softly With His Song
Peter Gabriel - Sledgehammer
Bryan Adams - Please Forgive Me
Prince - Purple Rain
UB40 - Red Red Wine
Eminem - Superman
The Police - Every Breath You Take
Guano Apes - Open Your Eyes
Marc Cohn - Walking In Memphis
Toy-Box - Tarzan & Jane
Shakira ft. Alejandro Sanz - La Tortura
Nancy Sinatra - Bang Bang (My Baby Shot Me Down)
Takida - Curly Sue
John Legend - All Of Me
Nancy Sinatra - These Boots Are Made for Walkin'
Status Quo - In The Army Now
Alice Cooper - Poison
B.o.B ft. Hayley Williams - Airplanes
No Doubt - Don't Speak
Antonio Banderas & Los Lobos - Canción Del Mariachi
Joan Osborne - One of Us
Madonna - You'll See
Roxette - Queen Of Rain
Roxette - Real Sugar
The Cheeky Girls - Take Your Shoes Off
Toni Braxton - Un-Break My Heart
Gorillaz - Clint Eastwood
ABBA - Take A Chance On Me
Sinéad O'Connor - Nothing Compares 2U
Björk - It's Oh So Quiet
Vengaboys - Boom, Boom, Boom, Boom!!
Hoobastank - The Reason
Alien Ant Farm - Smooth Criminal
Spice Girls - Wannabe
Britney Spears - Oops! I Did It Again
Annie Lennox - No More 'I Love You's'
Whitney Houston - I Have Nothing
Ruslana - Wild Dances
Loreen - Euphoria
R.E.M. - Orange Crush
OK Go - Here It Goes Again
Kings Of Leon - Sex on Fire
The Black Eyed Peas - Where Is The Love?
Robbie Williams - Feel
John Lennon - Imagine
Mary J. Blige, U2 - One
Europe - The Final Countdown
Gareth Gates - Anyone Of Us (Stupid Mistake)
Joan Jett & the Blackhearts - I Love Rock N Roll
Avicii - Hey Brother
Queen - Bohemian Rhapsody
Alanis Morissette - Ironic
Labrinth ft. Tinie Tempah - Earthquake
Christina Perri - Jar of Hearts
Evanescence - My Immortal
The Verve - Bitter Sweet Symphony
Lana Del Rey - Summertime Sadness 
Pitbull ft. Ne-Yo, Afrojack, Nayer - Give Me Everything 
Modestep - Sunlight
Metallica - Whiskey In The Jar
Sean Paul - She Doesn't Mind
Rihanna Ft. Jay-Z - Umbrella
Bruno Mars - When I Was Your Man
Lady Gaga - The Edge Of Glory
Stings - Fields Of Gold
Smash Mouth - All Star
Christina Aguilera, Lil' Kim, Mya, Pink - Lady Marmalade
Adele - Chasing Pavements
Etta James - I Just Want To Make Love To You
Imagine Dragons - Radioactive
OneRepublic - Counting Stars
OneRepublic - Stop And Stare
Shakira ft. Rihanna - Can't Remember to Forget You
Calvin Harris ft. Ellie Goulding - I Need Your Love
Johnny Cash - Hurt
Johnny Cash - Ring Of Fire
David Guetta ft. Nicki Minaj - Turn Me On
Jennifer Lopez ft. Pitbull - On The Floor
Rihanna ft. Calvin Harris - We Found Love
Paul Simon - You Can Call Me Al
Spin Doctors - Two Princes
Lady Antebellum - Need You Now
Amy Macdonald - This Is The Life
Icona Pop ft. Charli XCX - I Love It
Cyndi Lauper - Girls Just Want To Have Fun
Ed Sheeran - The A Team
Owl City - Fireflies
Ed Sheeran - Lego House
Tim Berg - Seek Bromance
Florence + The Machine - Dog Days Are Over
LMFAO - Sexy And I Know It
Adele - Rolling In The Deep
Kelly Clarkson - Because Of You
Christina Perri - A Thousand Years
Swedish House Mafia ft. Tinie Tempah - Miami 2 Ibiza
Justin Timberlake - Mirrors
Flo Rida ft. David Guetta - Club Can't Handle Me
O-Zone - Dragostea Din Tei
Elvis Presley - Jailhouse Rock
Rihanna - Diamonds
Rihanna - Pon The Replay
Bloodhound Gang - The Bad Touch
Red Hot Chilli Peppers - Californication
King Charles - Love Lust
Queen - Bicycle Race
Flobots - Handlebars
Sting - Englishman In New York
Natalie Imbruglia - Torn
Tina Turner - What's Love Got To Do With It
Scorpions - Wind Of Change
Eagles - Hotel California
Bryan Adams - Summer of 69
Bon Jovi - Livin' On A Prayer
Michael Jackson - Man In The Mirror
Survivor - Eye Of The Tiger
The Script ft. will.i.am - Hall Of Fame
Mattafix - Big City Life
Coldplay - Paradise
Phil Collins - In The Air Tonight
Midnight Oil - Beds Are Burning
Oasis - Wonderwall
Lenny Kravitz - American Woman
The Beatles - Yesterday
John Denver - Leaving on a Jet Plane
Ray Charles - Hit The Road Jack
Slash ft. Fergie - Beautiful Dangerous
Terrorvision - Tequilla
K'Naan - Wavin' Flag
Depeche Mode - Free Love
Matchbox Twenty - How Far We've Come
Shakira - Waka Waka
Los Del Rio - Macarena
Loona - Bailando
Crazy Frog - Axel F
Fall Out Boy - My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark (Light Em Up)






Thant's all --- For now! ;)

What am I doing?

HOW I FEEL - ALL AT THE SAME TIME:

 

AND THIS: 

The Weak Boys

The weak boys that pretend to be strong.
And..
The strong boys that pretend to be weak.

There are the two categories that men can be classified in. Yes, we're not supposed to classify people in groups, generalize. But then again, our lives pivot around the idea that we belong to certain groups.
We identify ourselves based on what we are and what we have been taught that we are. I am a girl, so I put myself in the girl-group. Then it goes on based on race and ethnicity. Next on is the income group, where are we -what social group do we belong in? The list goes on, based on interests, based on religious and political views. Ultimately we place ourselves in groups, and in the end it it one group in specific that means the most to us. And then I question, who am I? 

And who are you? What is the most important thing to you? Who do you want people to see first?

Nenogurt

Kā zvaigžņota lupata man virs galvas plešas debesu valstība. Es esmu aizkustināta. Ir vēss, piebrieduši krūšu gali un es viegli, jo viegli teku pār lauku. Kājas basas, rasa dzeļ pēdās, bet es tik gaisīgi nesos, gandrīz kā lidojumā. Man nav kurp skriet, nav laika, sen iztecējis, vai varbūt nekad tāds nemaz nav bijis. Es esmu vienīgā dambretes dāma - karaliene pati savā pļavā, un neviens man pāri nodarīt nevar. Es elsoju klusi, jo klusi; ir nogurums no nemitīgās dancošanas, bet es nevaru stāties. Es negribu stāties. Man uzsmaida mēness gaišā puse, vai tas ņirgājās, vai patiesi smaida, nezinu. Bet ko gan tas maina? Es esmu karaliene pati savā pļavā. Ir robežas, sēta laikam arī kaut kur ir, bet es nezinu cik tālu. Bieži šķiet, ka teku pa pļavu, kas ir apaļa kā lode, bez malām, bez gala.

No Boundaries

Have you ever taken a look at the world map and felt like there is virtually nothing holding you back from just picking a spot and going there? Well, things are the way they are at the moment, and I truly feel that some time this year I will be able to go to a random place on this planet Earth.
That is, of course, if everything goes as planned.
Right now I'm looking at life through the simplicity lens, and I can't say that it's bad. It isn't always easy, but in the long run it is definitely better than complicating things and assuming that everything is impossible, too complicated, or too difficult to achieve.
Life is tough, and maybe that's why it's worth living.

There is no Right Answer to All the Questions

Rīga 2013

 

"Nepūt pīlītes"

My new header picture on Twitter

 Cēsis, Nov 2013

 Tērbatas, Rīga, 2013 Autumn

Lisbon, Feb 2014

How?

Why bother with love
when there are so many broken hearts?
It makes no sense,
and it makes me question life.

It makes me wonder why humans are so weak,
why are we mortals so fragile?
We melt like sugar,
and we break like a thin pieces of glass.

We are so full and empty all at the same time.
We have a gift - life, and then we ride through it.
We break at the moments when we have to stay strong.
We give up and forget.

Us, humans, we forget the important thing.
At times we hide away from the truth,
we cry and we let it all out.
Or we trap it all inside of us.

When there is no certainty on our planet,
how can we know;
how can we know
that it's right to go on?

It's March!

Well, well, well.

Time sure flies. So many things have been going on, I don't even know where to start.
First, last month my first niece was born (after four nephews you'd think it's about time!), and that has been on top of my happy list lately.
I also begun my driving theory classes, so far they've not been awesome. I am learning things, but the dude teaching me and le group is some old fart who has zero faith in young people and he thinks that Latvia's current president is the only decent president he's seen in office ever. (To put in in a perspective, the current president has the worst rating off all the presidents we have had.)
But lucky for me that I study from books, and it's basically just memorizing so I don't really have to give a damn about what he says or doesn't say. Just have to be at the class twice a week.
Later this month I'll be going to Portugal again! I can't wait. I am so excited, I just want to make flips like a small puppy, but then I realize that I can't do that.
My friend has moved into a flat, and her boyfriend has arrived, and to be honest I am jealous of her. But she knows it. :D
And I have a job interview next week, and I am so worried, but it's good that I've not quit my current job, so I don't have to panic too much.
Life is moving forward at a speed that I can't really follow along to, just keep playing catch-up with it. I've also been sick for two weeks or so. Bad cough, had high temperature and the past two days my head just keeps aching. Oh well.

Work has become really dull. I'm at work now and I seriously can't be bothered to do much. Blah! Have to reply to yet another complaint, people are just ridiculous!


Also winter was gone all February, ha, I've even forgotten what snow feels like. Winter was gone before it actually got here. The migratory birds have started to come back. The pussy willow has begun to bloom. The sun leaves later and comes right back up around the time I get up from my sleep. The lights in the city dim off soon in the morning. People seem to ditch their warm coats, hats and mittens. I guess spring is here.