Hello dragonfly, what time is it?

My thoughts have been wandering places again, and it has led me here. I've missed you, my dear dragonfly. Lately, I've been thinking about time again. How it's fluid and solid depending on what is next saved in your google calendar. I've taken out the trash, Wednesday is long gone. I've input the October appointments. It's all so bleak. Why is time always strategically trying to screw us? What did we do to it to deserve such betrayal? It remains silent to my endless sea of questions; it just keeps ticking forward and never back. 

I want to scribble my thoughts, so I have some snapshots of today's memories. I don't want them to just disappear into the nothingness that we call life. Today is my day off. These last couple of days the weather has been miserable. We had more than a fair share of summer this year, I must be honest about that. The sun was spoiling us, or was it global warming? Who knows anyway(?). I don't like to get up to too much on days off, I don't like to disappoint myself. We had a lovely date night yesterday though, yes, despite the weather being absolute shit. Any time spent together feels way better than a boatload of sun anyway. The feeling cannot be written down, it can not be expressed, not even drawn. It's beautiful at its core, heart-warming shells around it, and draped in wholesome happiness... Something like that, but waaaaay better. I can honestly say that I love that man more and more each day. 

Work has been alright, dare I say it, it's actually been good. It has its challenges, and not-so-great-days, but I don't feel as bad before going to work. I don't know what it is. I bet it's all in the head, I can't let my thoughts run wild without a leash. They go to bad places. I get shit days too, when everything seems to be failing and falling into the wrong places, and just when you think that things cannot possibly go worse, life throughs a brick straight to the face. These days happen, and I think getting through them is what has created this feeling that it's better now. Is it better now, or is it just an illusion? 

I miss people, I miss family and friends in Latvia, and it honestly breaks my heart. It sucks, sucks a fuckton. 

Right, time to put the leash back onto these thoughts and wonder other corridors of this head of mine. 

Come, take my hand and let's go for a walk in this wonderful rainfall, the flooded streets, the sun teasing avenues.

 

Un tu?

Es vēlētos dzīvot pasaku namiņā, kas atrodas meža vidū. Tas iebūvēts zābakā. Jā, zābakā! Kurpju šņores kalpotu kā žalūzijas. Tās dienā varētu atvērt ielaist nelielu saules staru, kas ieceļotu caur koku zariem. Bet naktī aizvērt, lai mēness gaisma nekož caurumus ciešā miega sapņos. Netālu varētu dzirdēt nelielas upes ūdens straumi, kā tas nesas lejā pa ūdens kritumu. Zābaka augšu mēs aizšūtu ciet, lai lietus un sniegs nekrīt uz galvas, un, lai skudras nezog brokastis no galda. Mums būtu nelielas kāpnes, kas vestu līdz guļamistabas logam, lai pēc nakts pastaigām var doties pa taisno uz sapņu zemi. Pirmajā stāvā mums būtu glauna dzīvojamā istaba, kur mēs uzņemtu viesus. Tai būtu aitādas paklājs, lai pēdām allaž silti. Un uz maza galdiņa vienmēr būtu karsta un pilna tējas kanna. Tai blakus nelielas, trauslas porcelāna tasītes, un saldummīļiem, svaigas īrisa konfektes. Mēs klausītos latviešu tautas dziesmas, kas spēlētu vecā radio kastē. Mums būtu iedomīgs kaķis, kas sēdētu istabas stūrī un vērotu visus ar niķīgu skatu. Mēs pa dienu ietu lasīt sēnes un ogas, vakarā dzertu tēju, bet naktī mēs sapņotu par to kā būtu, ja būtu. 

Janvāris.

Laimes dalīšana.
Kur man likt visu šo laimīti? Kaklā iekārt? Iebērt burkā, vai pienaglot pie sienas, lai neaizbēg?
Vēlos jums visiem novēlēt šo laimi, jo kur gan es viens pats ar tik daudz laimi likšos? Man nav vietas, kabatas plīst jau pušu. Un es gribu, lai visiem tiek neliela laimes kripatiņa. Gribu, lai katram tiek lērums laimes, lai iemirdzas prieks, vēl gaišāks kā Ziemassvētku brīnums. Es gribu iekrāsot pasauli vēl neredzētos toņos. Gribu, lai cilvēki redz, ka patiesai laimei vajag ļoti, ļoti nedaudz. Un vajag, lai ir grūti, lai katru dienu ir par ko cīnīties, jo tas dod vēlmi novērtēt visu labo, kas tev ir. Es tā gribu, lai tu saproti manu domu - lai nepārproti mani. Nekad nebūs viegli, ja gribi patiesu laimi, tev tā ir jāizprot un jānovērtē. Citādi, tā kā smiltis izskries caur pirkstiem.
Viss, es eju būt laimīgs.

From Here to There

November finally arrived. But before that end of October happened. On the last Wednesday of October I went to "trim" my hair. It is now half the length it was. (It is still long though!)

On Thursday it was a tough day at uni. But after that I had a nice lunch with a couple of my friends. Then later, in the evening, I was visiting my brother for his birthday dinner. It was great to see my niece again. She is growing rapidly. We stayed there till late and were home a bit after midnight. It ended up being a long night with packing, shower, doing laundry, and tiding up the mess I had produced in the last few months. I got to bed at six in the morning. My alarm was set for 7:30. I woke up 5 minutes before it went off.

Now it was Friday, the very day that I was patiently waiting for. That's the day when, what should be the greatest trip if my life so far, was about to begin. I flew to Lisbon to see my boyfriend. He was waiting for me at the arrivals, with a flower! :) We seized the last bit of the day we had by going a bit out in the city. Again, arriving after midnight home, we started packing, this time Pedro's things. It went a bit hectic, but by four in the morning we were fast asleep.

With most things packed we let ourselves sleep so we would be somewhat rested for our first flight together. With everything ready to go, bags and bikes packed, Pedro went to get his father and then we drove to the airport. At the check in we had a bit of a scare, the lady at the Emirates desk said that I could only get a 15 day visa for our final destination, so she could not. Check us in because we had our return flights only in 5 weeks. But luckily we had purchased another flight for us for while on the trip, so we had theoretical proof that we'll be leaving Thailand before the 15 days expire. With all that settled we now had to pass our bikes through the oversized luggage scanner, and help the woman working there bring the bike boxes to the other side. :D  We then bought some wine and headed for our gate. The flight was long, more than seven hours. And at Dubai we were not able to land because the airport was busy, so we took an extra minutes just circulating above Dubai. We landed passed two at night local time. Luckily our CS host Jihad was still waiting for us at the airport to take us to his place. With him was another surfer, Vaidas. This guy is from Lithuania, but has also lived in Norway, and in Canada for several years. Now he was on his journey to see every country in the world!! At our host's place we had a quick chat but soon went to sleep. It had been a long day!

We all slept in even though that was not the plan. We planned to leave the apartment by 10, but Jihad had to be in work. He had called work that he would be late, but because he sounded ill, his colleague said to stay home for the day. So now he was our awesome "sick" driver and tour guide. He really turned out to be one of the best hosts ever! Impressive!
We got to see some of Dubai. Before our flight we met an old colleague of Pedro's, had a nice quick dinner. And then our host drove us to the airport. We found our terminal, our boarding gate, and we were ready to take off for Bangkok!

And that is where we are right now. :)

Real Eyes

This is what the Lisboa (Lisbon) streets teach nowadays.

Real Eyes Realize Real Lies
Lisbon

There is no Right Answer to All the Questions

Rīga 2013

 

"Nepūt pīlītes"

My new header picture on Twitter

 Cēsis, Nov 2013

 Tērbatas, Rīga, 2013 Autumn

Lisbon, Feb 2014

2014

It's here!
2014 has arrived. And change is about to happen. I would tell you what change, but I am pretty good at keeping secrets, so there is no way I'm telling you.

Either way kiddos, stay cool. :D

This Image

Someone posted this image in Facebook, and it pretty much sums up how I feel.

So she wrote

So she wrote a letter to tell him how she felt. She wrote a letter, and then she deleted it.
And so she never replied. She never forgot. No, he always stayed on her mind, every day she would find herself pondering about how things could be.. If there would be any change if she told him all those thoughts that were boiling in her mind. But she had come to a conclusion, she had decided that it's for the best. He soon forgot about her anyway, she became just another girl who he had met. Soon he forgot her name, and then he forgot her face, and she existed only in old memories that would never be bought back to life.

It was gone like the runaway train, it was gone to never return. She wrote a memory, a small note, an entry in a diary that did not exist. She wrote so she would not forget. She typed up the memories and saved them in a place where no one would stumble upon them. But they were there, just like old books covered with dust, the memories would hold still..

And then one day he wrote to her again.
He wrote:

Do You believe in magic?

And, in fact, she did, she believed that there was something more to life, she believed that things could happen just because.

So she wrote, she told him exactly that, that she believed in magic.

To which he replied that he would like to see her again, he was willing to buy a plane ticket to come see her. He would come when ever, but the sooner the better. He wanted to see her smile again, he wanted to see for himself that magic truly did exist.

She wrote back. She no longer lived in illusions, she said that she would be pleased to see him. She said that meeting him again would bring the most truthful smile in her face. She wrote to him. All the thoughts of him were coming back, they were simmering along the top of her mind. She never knew this would happen, she never thought to see him again.

But there he was standing waiting for her at the airport. He smiled a big smile and gave her a sincere hug, and didn't want to let her go. The embrace lasted for a at least two full minutes.

But then it didn't matter what happened next.
She had a second chance, and she wrote to him. She didn't tell him everything, but she said what was important - she said that she wanted to see him again... and again, and again...

Migrating Fox

It's been dull, rainy all day; just the way I love it. But I spent most of the day inside anyway. I was at work. It always sucks to go back to work after a holiday.. Even when the holidays aren't long (like mine, usually short and sweet!!). The days are getting shorter, it's already getting dark outside now, and it's just almost seven in the evening. It's poker night tonight. I don't really know why I keep attending poker nights. It seems so vague, so shallow and empty. But somehow they fill up an entire evening almost every week. Some part of all that experience even fuels me.. in a way that can not be explained. My holiday was so short, but it seems like I was gone for at least two weeks. I am so recharged, a part of me has reborn, and I feel like an entirely new being. I can feel my pulse, and I can feel myself living, rather than existing. But my job brings me down. To be straight forward, my job is depressing to it's last molecule. Every bit of it is plain sad. I try to be positive, but I realize how pathetic it feels. I live for little things, the things that step by step are losing meaning, step by step my priorities change. And I often find myself at a state where I do not care about anything at all. There are moments where nothing has meaning, I feel as if life is an empty shall that simply lies on the shore, waiting to be washed away. What is life really? Is it a game? Or is it a book, that has already been written? I don't know how I view the concept of life.

Life is fiction..

Is it?

Wicklow Mountains

You don't have to..

You don't have to be fabulous to make things happen; You simply have to be determined.

Would You?

Dance with me the last dance. Would it be too much to ask? To be honest, I don't need it to be the last dance. In fact, you may dance all your life if you wish. Let's just dance tonight, you and me. We'll turn up the music, and forget the time. Let's dance tonight!

Would You go to the edge of the world with me? Would you go to Paris with me?

They say a picture is worth a thousand words.

Rīga

September

How is life a book?

You start reading it even though you know it will end eventually.

So why live it?

Because You want to know the Story.

September has arrived. Almost. A few days ago I went through my old pictures from Ecuador (April 2009). All I can say is that I really want another experience like that one. I'll go for it, that's my final decision.

Now Playing: Alphaville - Forever Young

Draudzība.

Tu esi mana šķīstošā kafija.
Tā sķīst viss, kas netiek labi pieskatīts.

Bilde no flickr.com

Truth About Rain + Life

best thing in Scotland so far

I SAW A DRAGONFLY TODAY!!

Well hello there my wonderful world. The past few days have been great. Really. I know You don't hear this from me offten, but it is the truth. I will not go into details, since I am a very closed off person and all (gotta keep it up). HAHA

Spent a few days with Arita in Talsi. Well two of the days we were at the beach and it was raining all the time. Boo, and it is very, very hot now.. UGH.

Anyway, today I am in the city Saldus, in Kurzeme. Blah, blah, blah.. and we (my two brothers and I) were walking back to the house and my twin (Tašpuks) saw a dragonfly on a bridge we were crossing. I figured it got hit by a car since it looked week, but still alive. It was so pretty, and You can't imagine how glad I was to see it. (Me and dragonflies are like sisters.) So we took the poor thing and put it in the grass to recover. I hope it got it's strength together and managed to survive. I believe it did.

And just to tell you how much I love dragonflies I will put up a picture that i took with the camera that has no display.

no wonder people believe in the story of God

Hi my fellow worriers.
Life is life and it is so hard to realize that millions of lives can be in the hands of one single person.

A few days ago i went through my biggest "box of memories". It is nothing special, just a shoebox filled with little things (like tiny notebooks, CDs, floppy disks, pins, buttons, name tags, beer caps, etc). Each of these has a shorter or longer story behind it. This post is going to be about a CD that I have from my photography class that I took at the School of the Photographic Arts: Ottawa, the class was called "Youth Perspective". The CD was given to each of the students by the teacher. In there are pictures that changed the world, or pictures that teach a good lesson, or pictures that teach tips and tricks about photography. There is a Power Point presentation that teaches that Plastic Bags are bad and damage the world. There also were a few songs, and also a few links that either teach photography, or have some amazing photographies, or are simply good, there is other stuff too, but I haven't got to that yet. I needed to share this with You!

What I did was I marked all the files in there and pressed "open". Of course the computer was a little upset that it needed to open 74 items all at once, and so was I, but we got through it. At start it launched the Power Point presentation. Pretty impressive, quotes, and, of course, images. Powerful. Then i begun going through the links that opened up. Ok, i'll just add a list of them here. (Not all, since some were NOT FOUND)

• New Internationalist
• New Internationalist - A photographer's code
• Guidelines for Better Photographic Composition
• Edward Burtynsky - Photographic Works
• Photo Composition Articles - Guidelines for Better Photographic Composition
• Itchy Animation - Digital paint - LIGHT
• Amazonas Images
• Adbusters
• Lauren Greenfield - Photography
• Rabble.ca

These are in no order, but You should be able to tell which one is a teaching site and which one is a COOL site to look at (they all are but anyway..).

The one in bold is where i found a video. This video is really heart wrenching and I feel like I need to share with it. Everyone in the world should see this video. (It is a flagged video, so You have to be 18+ to view it, just saying)



It is painful to watch and personally makes me extremely mad!

Referring to the title, it comes to the fact that our lives depend on so much that i start to have a better view on people who believe in a higher power. I don't want to fall there. So I say as long as I have some control over what I do, I will do what ever I can to make this world a better place.

Thank You!

"Shhh" said the cannibal

Viena no manām visu laiku mīļākajām filmām ir "Jēru klusēšana" (jeb The Silence of the Lambs"). Ģeniāla filma. Teksts ir vienkārši biedējošs, bet tik ārprātīgi ideāls. Ir bez maz vai tā, ka katra nākamā rindiņa nonāvē iepriekšējo, jo ir vismaz desmit reizes labāka. Man kā skatītājai tas liek justies tā it kā esmu nagla, kas ar vārdiem tiek dzīta dziļāk un dziļāk zeme (līdz ar to, kad filma ir galā esmu pilnībā zemē iedzīta). Tas tāpēc, ka katra lieta, kas tiek pasacīta ir tik ārprātīga un negaidīta, ka sirds sāk trīcēt.

Hannibal Lecter: Tell me, Senator: did you nurse Catherine yourself?
Senator Ruth Martin: What?
Hannibal Lecter: Did you breast-feed her?
Paul Krendler: Now wait a minute...
Senator Ruth Martin: Yes, I did.
Hannibal Lecter: Toughened your nipples, didn't it?
Paul Krendler: You son of a *****!
Hannibal Lecter: Amputate a man's leg and he can still feel it tickling. Tell me, mum, when your little girl is on the slab, where will it tickle you?

Vot šīs rindas gluži vienkārši sakož, nē saplosa kā izsalcis suns.
Es ļoti ceru, ka es kaut kad sameklēšu laiku un gribas spēku, lai atrastu grāmatu pēc kuras filma veidota un to izlasītu.

Šodien klasē iegāju tieši pirms zvana. YES(!), paspēju!
Semestra statistika līdz šim:
Skolas dienas bijušas: 15
Skolas dienas apmeklētas: 14
Neierašanās iemesls: Ķīmijā apmeklējām Univ. laboratoriju
Klases, kad ierados kavējot: 2
Kavēšanas iemesli: Palaidu autobusu gar ausīm & gluži vienkārši izgāju no mājas par vēlu.
Uzskatu, ka līdz šim viss ir diezgan pieņemami.