From Here to There

November finally arrived. But before that end of October happened. On the last Wednesday of October I went to "trim" my hair. It is now half the length it was. (It is still long though!)

On Thursday it was a tough day at uni. But after that I had a nice lunch with a couple of my friends. Then later, in the evening, I was visiting my brother for his birthday dinner. It was great to see my niece again. She is growing rapidly. We stayed there till late and were home a bit after midnight. It ended up being a long night with packing, shower, doing laundry, and tiding up the mess I had produced in the last few months. I got to bed at six in the morning. My alarm was set for 7:30. I woke up 5 minutes before it went off.

Now it was Friday, the very day that I was patiently waiting for. That's the day when, what should be the greatest trip if my life so far, was about to begin. I flew to Lisbon to see my boyfriend. He was waiting for me at the arrivals, with a flower! :) We seized the last bit of the day we had by going a bit out in the city. Again, arriving after midnight home, we started packing, this time Pedro's things. It went a bit hectic, but by four in the morning we were fast asleep.

With most things packed we let ourselves sleep so we would be somewhat rested for our first flight together. With everything ready to go, bags and bikes packed, Pedro went to get his father and then we drove to the airport. At the check in we had a bit of a scare, the lady at the Emirates desk said that I could only get a 15 day visa for our final destination, so she could not. Check us in because we had our return flights only in 5 weeks. But luckily we had purchased another flight for us for while on the trip, so we had theoretical proof that we'll be leaving Thailand before the 15 days expire. With all that settled we now had to pass our bikes through the oversized luggage scanner, and help the woman working there bring the bike boxes to the other side. :D  We then bought some wine and headed for our gate. The flight was long, more than seven hours. And at Dubai we were not able to land because the airport was busy, so we took an extra minutes just circulating above Dubai. We landed passed two at night local time. Luckily our CS host Jihad was still waiting for us at the airport to take us to his place. With him was another surfer, Vaidas. This guy is from Lithuania, but has also lived in Norway, and in Canada for several years. Now he was on his journey to see every country in the world!! At our host's place we had a quick chat but soon went to sleep. It had been a long day!

We all slept in even though that was not the plan. We planned to leave the apartment by 10, but Jihad had to be in work. He had called work that he would be late, but because he sounded ill, his colleague said to stay home for the day. So now he was our awesome "sick" driver and tour guide. He really turned out to be one of the best hosts ever! Impressive!
We got to see some of Dubai. Before our flight we met an old colleague of Pedro's, had a nice quick dinner. And then our host drove us to the airport. We found our terminal, our boarding gate, and we were ready to take off for Bangkok!

And that is where we are right now. :)

Wake Me Up When September Ends

September has floated away, it poured through the capsule of time like a raging waterfall. Seems that yesterday it begun and tomorrow's already October. The leaves are turning into countless unnamed colours. The sky is filled with clouds. Darkness falls in way too soon in the evenings and leaves much too late when the mornings come. At times I feel that the sun is playing an impossible game of hide and seek; there's no way of winning. I want to stop the time, if just for some seconds. I need to catch a breath. So many things happening all at once, like life is just flying right passed me. At some moments life seems like a train. My train is running in front of my eyes, and I'm not even on it! Can someone pull the emergency brake so I can hop on? Don't I have to be on the ride that's called "My Life"?

Now Playing: James Blunt - Tears and Rain

 

What is your soul made of? How far can someone go? How deep can one dig to find the truth? It scares me, it scares me that I might live just the one layer of this life, just the basic path to the grave. The idea of it makes me want to run free, run like a wild animal. I want to be able to think like a regular human being. Sometimes. Just sometimes I want to be like the rest of them. But the rest of the time I simply enjoy the complexity of it, makes me feel ... happy. (It's funny, because the exact same thing used to make me terribly sad.)

Bam! Too much thinking. Back to the basics - September's gone. This one, at least. Start of uni's over, birthday has passed, Scotland stays as a part of UK, war-like situation in Ukraine, utter shame on humanity in the Middle East... Ah, list goes on and on, September has been fairly eventful this year. Let's see what Mr October has in store for us!

Don't Wake Me Up

If I actually do fall asleep in September, make sure to not wake me up.
I can't think straight. I honestly need some REAL rest from everything, yes - every fucking thing. I'm way too exhausted to be functioning as a real human being. I am physically and emotionally tired. I need space. I need time. I need to manage my time, so I can rest.
I have to decide what to do...

You Know Who You Are

I love you because you are awesome,
..you are awesome because I love you!




If I could build a fortress with my bare hands. If I could build a whole palace, just me all by myself.. Would I?
There are infinite questions, and just as many answers (if not even more). But which answer belongs to witch question? I wonder if it is even possible to build a whole fortress by myself.
Would I have enough strength? Who would sponsor it? Would I have to earn it all, just me? Wouldn't I have to learn about building, construction, architecture and all that jazz?

Or could I just get up, take all I need form where ever it can be found, and start building it where ever I feel like doing so?

When you break every day things into tiny details, into steps, when you elaborate the seemingly simple things, it becomes clear that it is not really as simple as might look.

We're not always allowed to do the things we desire just because we desire them. We are forced to think of the other factors. We are forced to think of consequences. We have to think about the others, what will happen to them, how will a certain action affect others.

And sometimes it isn't so easy to just say/write I don't care.
Surprise, surprise. 
I suppose that there are times when I do care.



I'm too tired to think.
I'm too lazy to be bothered to pre-read this post before posting.
I should, since I wrote it over a course of several hours,
but don't want to.
Bite me! 

How?

Why bother with love
when there are so many broken hearts?
It makes no sense,
and it makes me question life.

It makes me wonder why humans are so weak,
why are we mortals so fragile?
We melt like sugar,
and we break like a thin pieces of glass.

We are so full and empty all at the same time.
We have a gift - life, and then we ride through it.
We break at the moments when we have to stay strong.
We give up and forget.

Us, humans, we forget the important thing.
At times we hide away from the truth,
we cry and we let it all out.
Or we trap it all inside of us.

When there is no certainty on our planet,
how can we know;
how can we know
that it's right to go on?

Don't Date a Girl Who Travels

A friend of mine posted a link on Facebook.com to this lovely post: Don't Date a Girl Who Travels. It says that the text has been translated into several other languages, and Latvian was not listed, so I decided to translate it.

Nesatiecies ar meiteni, kas ceļo.

Viņa ir tā, kurai ir izpūruši, saule izbalējuši mati. Viņas āda vairs nav tik gaiša kā kādreiz. Tā pat nav saules skūpstīta. Tā ir sadegusi. Tai ir vairākas iedeguma līnijas, šur un tur rētas un kodieni. Bet par katru ādas  nobrāzumu viņai ir kāds interesants stāsts stāstāms.

Nesatiecies ar meitenei, kas ceļo. Viņu ir grūti apmierināt. Parastais vakariņu randiņš, filma un lielveikals viņai liksies galīgi garām, tas izsūks no viņas dzīvību. Viņas dvēsele alkst pēc jauniem piedzīvojumiem un  pārdzīvojumiem. Viņu nespēsi iespaidot ar savu jauno auto un dārgo pulksteni. Viņa daudz labprātāk kāptu kādā kalnā vai lēktu ārā no lidmašīnas nekā klausītos tavās lielībās.

Nesatiecies ar meiteni, kas ceļo, jo viņa tev uzkratīsies ar lūgumu, lai nopērc aviobiļetes ikreiz, kad kāda aviokompānija piedāvā atlaides. Viņa neballēsies Republiq clubā. Viņa nemūžam nemaksās simt dollārus par Avicii koncertu, jo zin, ka viena nedēļas nogale klubos ir apmēram tas pats, kas nedēļa pavadīta kaut, kur kur ir daudz interesantāk.

Viņai, viticamāk, nav patstāvīga darba. Vai viņa daudz domā par aiziešanu no darba. Viņa nevēlās strādāt vaiga sviedros, lai sasniegtu kāda cita cilvēka sapņus. Viņai ir savi mērķi un viņa pēc tiem tiecās. Viņa ir brīvmāksliniece. Viņa pelna dizainējot, rakstot, fotogrāfējot, vai darot ko citu, kur vajadzīga radoša izpausme un bagāta iztēle. Pat nemēģini izniekot viņas laiku sūdzoties par savu garlaicīgo darbu.

Nesatiecies ar meiteni, kas ceļo. Viņa, iespējams, ir izniekojusi savu augstskolas diplomu un krasi nomainījusi savu karjeru. Viņa tagad varbūt ir niršanas instruktore vai vada jogas nodarbības. Viņa nav īsti pārliecināta, kad kontā parādīsies alga. Bet viņa nestrādās kā robots visas dienas garumā. Viņa iet ielās un izbauda to, ko dzīve piespēlē, un izaicinās tev darīt tā pat. 

Nesatiecies ar meiteni, kas ceļo, jo viņa ir izvēlējusies dzīvē nedrošāko ceļu. Viņai nav plāna, nav vienas adreses. Viņa seko ritmam, un dodas tur, kur sirds vada. Viņa dejo pie savu bungu ritmiem. Viņai nav ap roku apsiets pulkstenis. Viņas dienas vada saule un mēness. Kad viļņi sauc, dzīve stājas un viss pārējais ir bijis nebijis. Bet viņa ir iemācījusies, ka svarīgākais dzīvē nav sērfot.

Nesatiecies ar meiteni, kas ceļo, jo viņa saka, ko domā. Viņa nemēģinās atstāt labu iespaidu uz tevi vai draugiem. Viņa zin, kas ir cieņa, bet nebaidās iesaistīties debatēs par globālām un sociālām problēmām.

Viņai tevi nekad nevajadzēs. Viņa pati zin kā uzbliezt telti, kā saskrūvēt dēļus, visu bez tavas palīdzības. Viņa labi gatavo ēst un viņai nevajag, lai maksā par viņas maltītēm. Viņa ir satriecoši neatkarīga, un viņai nerūpēs vai ceļo ar viņu vai nē. Viņa aizmirsīs tev nodod ziņu, kad sasniegusi galamērķi.Viņa ir aizņemta dzīvojot tagadnē. Viņa sarunājas ar svešiniekiem. Viņa satiks daudz interesantu, līdzīgi domājošu pērsonību no visām pasaules malām. Tiem būs līdzīgas aizraušanās un līdzīgi sapņi. Viņai ar tevi būs garlaicīgi.

Tad nu nesatiecies ar meiteni, kas ceļo. Un, ja nu tu nevilšus iemīlies kādā, tad pat neiedomājies viņu paturēt. Laid viņu valā.

And here is the actual BLOG where the post comes from: 
http://www.lovethesearch.com/

I miss you

It seems like all I do my whole life is I miss people. I am so used to this empty space in me, just every day I can count so many people that would want to see. It's like, when someone asks: "What do you do?" the reply would always be "I miss people." What is even worse is that you don't get used to it, not in a good way I mean, you don't adjust to it. It just hurts, sometimes less, sometimes more, it carves your soul like a child would carve a pumpkin on Halloween. Plus there is the factor that I can't really do anything about it. It's not like hate that you can consciously decide to let go. It's not like falling in love, that over time can fade away. They are memories and feelings, a combinations of so many things, and also, of course, the fact that you don't want to let those feelings leave. I don't want to not miss all those people. Of course, it is amazing to have so many awesome people to miss, but it truly hurts that most of them are so far away. Sometimes I think about what we'd be doing if we were side-by-side. And then in some cases so many years have passed since I last saw the person, it's like I don't actually know them. I knew them, and that's the image that's drawn in my mind, the old one. We all change, but in some ways we remain the same, at least in certain memories. I will not lie, I have tears in my eyes. I am very lost at the moment (not literally), and I have no idea which way to go.

Anywho, missing people is beautiful, but at the same time it can be very sad.
Meh, that's all.


Oh, and also, side note, 5 years ago on 7th of December, I joined Blogger.com (blogspot.com). WOW! 5 years! And this is still the first blog I made, and still the one where I post most often.

So she wrote

So she wrote a letter to tell him how she felt. She wrote a letter, and then she deleted it.
And so she never replied. She never forgot. No, he always stayed on her mind, every day she would find herself pondering about how things could be.. If there would be any change if she told him all those thoughts that were boiling in her mind. But she had come to a conclusion, she had decided that it's for the best. He soon forgot about her anyway, she became just another girl who he had met. Soon he forgot her name, and then he forgot her face, and she existed only in old memories that would never be bought back to life.

It was gone like the runaway train, it was gone to never return. She wrote a memory, a small note, an entry in a diary that did not exist. She wrote so she would not forget. She typed up the memories and saved them in a place where no one would stumble upon them. But they were there, just like old books covered with dust, the memories would hold still..

And then one day he wrote to her again.
He wrote:

Do You believe in magic?

And, in fact, she did, she believed that there was something more to life, she believed that things could happen just because.

So she wrote, she told him exactly that, that she believed in magic.

To which he replied that he would like to see her again, he was willing to buy a plane ticket to come see her. He would come when ever, but the sooner the better. He wanted to see her smile again, he wanted to see for himself that magic truly did exist.

She wrote back. She no longer lived in illusions, she said that she would be pleased to see him. She said that meeting him again would bring the most truthful smile in her face. She wrote to him. All the thoughts of him were coming back, they were simmering along the top of her mind. She never knew this would happen, she never thought to see him again.

But there he was standing waiting for her at the airport. He smiled a big smile and gave her a sincere hug, and didn't want to let her go. The embrace lasted for a at least two full minutes.

But then it didn't matter what happened next.
She had a second chance, and she wrote to him. She didn't tell him everything, but she said what was important - she said that she wanted to see him again... and again, and again...

How?

I've heard people say that I am too young to have no faith to the world. And maybe so, it could be that they are right! But how can I have any faith at all? I don't even believe myself, I have let myself down countless times, and I keep on doing so. I've been let down by others even more times than I've disappointed myself. So how can I keep on believing people, when I know that I'll be disappointed? That just doesn't make sense. So it is just logical to have no faith in human, in people.

Who knows, maybe people are, in general, nice creatures, but deep-deep down we all are selfish. When it would come to it, we would all be willing to kill someone for our own good. We would not risk our heath or wealth for someone else without own benefit. We all seek for self satisfaction, even if it is on the expense of others. And YES, there will be those of you, who will think don't judge everyone based on yourself. Yes, I am selfish too, but I am also kind, and I've given a lot, and I feel like I've been let down too much for what I have done. It's not physical pain, but emotional pain, people playing with feelings. I am weak this way, I've become weak. So I will not let any ass-holes betray me. No, I've had enough of that bull shit.

And yes, I have done wrong, and I have let go the wrong people in my life. But there have been so many.. and mostly I just feel like they will not care. So I give up, I give up before the battle begins. All because I don't want to be let down.


I've got high standards, so what, sue me!

Change, Change, Change, and Again CHANGE

I'm not talking about the change you get when you pay with a bill for something that is worth less and then you get change back. And I am not talking about me changing, I've talked about that a lot before, but not now...well not really.

Summer has just slipped through my fingers. It was so much to hold, so much to bare, and so much to live with (now). But now summer is over. It is over length wise, since I've been celebrating summer ever since I quit my job in Scotland. And if anyone knows, that happened at the near-end of May (!!!).

I then had my amazing cycling trip, which has so far been the best choice I've made in my life. I gained more than I ever expected to gain from such a trip. Some things to mention, I challenged myself; it was a real physical and mental challenge. I met some really amazing people, and a great diversity of people. I got to stay with people and see how things differ between neighbouring countries in Europe. I had plenty of me-time, I had time to think, I had time to worry, and most important, I had time to be happy!

Once I arrived home I had to change my point of view, I had to change who I was. I had been living totally independently for the last two years, and I had been living away from everyone I knew for three years. So now I had to adjust to a different life, I was (am) now dependant on other people, and as I am present here I have much different expectations from other people. I celebrated Latvian midsummer, got to see Song and Dance festival events, I met people that I hadn't seen in a while, I went places where I hadn't been, I got a job in a hotel... AND I signed up for university and luckily got accepted into Sociology!

Then August came and I was yet again set free (by none other than myself) to go on another trip. This one was of a much different nature, and I did not travel alone. I went with a friend-of-a-friend and we went on a hitchhiking trip through several countries. We begun our trip by taking a plane to Milan. From there we went to Slovenia, Austria, Slovakia, Hungary, Ukraine, Poland, Lithuania, and eventually back to Latvia. This trip took us two weeks and two days. It was, again, a really nice trip. I got to see places where I had been when I was younger, I got to see places where I had not yet been, and I got to see roads that I had cycled not too long ago. It was a diverse trip, we had ups and downs along the way, but all in all, we were happy. We had no terrible accidents along the way, and no life threatening situations. We met some folks that we might see again someday.

When I arrived back to Riga, I hosted some people from couch surfing. That, of course, again, was new for me, a very interesting experience to be the host, not the surfer. I showed people the city, we had some drinks, and I cooked some meals. I also met a special person that changed a part of me, or should I say he changed the way I see certain things. It was a very happy and sad encounter - an all-in-one, if you may.. It was great! I got back to work, went to theatre, met people, went out of the city couple of times, participated in Latvia's Universities student celebration...

And now it is September. I have yet again begun school. It has just begun and I feel like I'll like it, I might even love it! I know how to manage my time, and I know what to do to get good grades, and how to learn as much as humanly possible.. now it is simply up to me to use all the previous experience and knowledge for my own advantage, and then things will keep up, things will be good again. I'll be a busy bird, and in my experience, the more I have to do, the more I get done. So yeah, you want me to do something, sure, no probs, BRING IT ON!!!


So that's my amazing summer in a summary... but I could honestly write an entire book about the last few months! 

Feeling

What is a feeling? I've never really understood what it meant when someone says: "I've got feelings for you." Well, so do I, but what kind of feelings? I don't know. I can feel cold, warm, scared, tired. But what is it like to feel love for another being that is not your family? How is it possible to have any feelings towards someone? I don't get it. This is so confusing. What is love?

How is it possible to have feelings for someone you don't care about? How can you suddenly care of this one person when before there was nothing to care about? Why is this so confusing?

Now Playing: Tegan and Sara - Hello

Right now I feel so empty,

And someday won’t be ending,

Until I’ve done all that I can,

All that.

Until I’ve done all that I can.

One day, it’ll get easier,

'Cause right now,

I feel so simple,

Until I’ve done all that I can,

All that.

Until I’ve done all that I can.

And so I said, "Hello hello hello, I’m right here."

Oh, hello hello hello,

I’m right here.

I’m right here waiting for...

Drinking to yesterdays news.

I’m sorry I was late, I was so blue.

Oh, my hands hurt from holding your hands.

And I’m young but it’s hard to believe, yeah-e-ah,

That someday I will never see you again.

And you might not believe this,

But you’ve changed me so much.

But baby (baby) it’s so hard leaving you.

And maybe (maybe) this was the only, the only way.

Yeah, yeah. 

But right now I wish I was older,

And right now,

You look so simple.

Now is not my time.

No, no,

Now is not the time,

And so I said, "Hello hello hello, I’m right here."

I said, "Hello hello hello, I’m right here."

I'm right here waiting for...

Drinking to yesterday’s news.

I’m sorry I was late, I was so blue.

Oh, my hand hurts from holding your hand.

And I’m young but it’s hard to believe,

Yeah-e-ah,

That someday I will never see you again.

And you might not believe this ,

but you’ve changed me so much.

But baby (baby), it’s so hard leaving you.

And maybe (maybe) this was the only, the only way.

Yeah, yeah.

But baby (baby), it’s so hard leaving you.

And maybe (maybe) this was the only, the only way.

Yeah, yeah.

But baby (baby), it’s so hard leaving you.

And maybe (maybe) this was the only, the only way.

Yeah, yeah.

'Cause someday I will never see you again.

I think love doesn't simply appear out of nowhere.

There is no love at first sight.

It's probably lust, a spark, maybe, but it isn't love.

Love grows, from a small seed it grows into a tree.

It's an odd tree, it requires nurture or just good laughs. 

It's complex, every tree is so very different.

But the bigger any tree grows, the tougher it is to cut it down.

Life's Good

Life is a roller-coaster of love;

Mother.
Father.
Siblings.
Relatives.
Friends.
Games.
Adventure.
Youth.
Money.
Things.
Job.
Spouse.
Children.
Grandchildren.
 ..Memories.

Would You?

Dance with me the last dance. Would it be too much to ask? To be honest, I don't need it to be the last dance. In fact, you may dance all your life if you wish. Let's just dance tonight, you and me. We'll turn up the music, and forget the time. Let's dance tonight!

Would You go to the edge of the world with me? Would you go to Paris with me?

They say a picture is worth a thousand words.

Different

It's yet another last day of YET another year. I hope it's the best one for all of us, me, you and everybody else. I hope it feels like a never ending firework. I hope it's like a constant orgasm. I wish you that every single day goes by with the thought that it was the best day so far. May all your dearest wishes come true. I really wish for world peace, so that we all live in harmony and accept each other just the way we are. I hope I learn to be more welcome, and more patient. I hope only good things will happen. And if anything bad does happen, we should take the best of it and add it to life experiences. I want 2012 to be different than any other year. I want to do things that I haven't done, and make it memoriable. Truly, may it be the best so far!

Gone for Good

Is it possible to change everything? Just for the night i'd want to be with you, there in your arms. We could pretend that there is no sky. We'd switch off the gravity. We'd fall in love like Romeo and Juliet. We could turn all the clocks sideways so they'd get confused. And so we'd gain more of the precious time. How about we forget the past for a second. What's gone is gone for good; i'd never want that back. But truth be truth: i miss you. No, i simply miss you when you were at your best.
Remember how we danced in the rain. Do you remember how nor the time nor the place mattered, as long as we had each other, we were good for the day. Do you remember talking to strangers like they were our pals. Do you know why it was so? We really were strangers to each other. I loved jumping into other cultures with you, it was great to experience all that with someone who was more than a friend. Do you remember how i refused to hold your hand. It must have pissed you off. My temperament is too hot for you, you couldn't handle me.

Do you remember turning off the lights?

Does any of that ring bells?

How about walking home together and singing odd songs that we both knew by heart. Do you remember how we yelled at each other at the bus stop? Do you even remember what we were fighting for?
I don't..

Do you remember holding my hand while others weren't watching? We got caught, you weren't careful enough. But i know why, i really do. I recall you telling me things that you said no other soul knows. I know you opened up. And even though there was nothing there..not even a second worth remembering, i'd like to spend this one timeless second with you.

You see, we used to dance to sweet music. We always kissed like stars were upon our heads. We lied to each other several times... And once you even said that you loved me.

I love my bike!

I got my bike fixed, sort of... And then me and my bro, we went for a ride... All I can say is that I love my bike. I adore it!

Vakar bija

Vakar vakarā beidzot atbildēju uz to vēstuli. Kopā aprakstīju divas lapas no abām pusēm. To ir plānots nākamā gada novembrī vai decembrī. Man tik jāsameklē skočs, lai varu to kārtīgi satīt, lai nav vēlme palūrēt ātrāk, kas tajā rakstīts.

Visādi citādi iet labi. Domāju par nerunigām spārēm un klausos citu sarakstītos mīlas vārdus. Nedaudz viz iedvesma, tik nezinu kur to kārt. Varbūt, ka iekāršu kumeļam astē, vai arī pie kāda vēl neizdzisuša slimības kalna. Tad manīs.

Optimistic

So much for the positivism that you wear each day like an old pair of socks. So much for being a good friend, when you're the one who leaves everyone behind while on a possibly final journey. You're a disgrace to human kind. You don't know where to stop. You fly in your dreams like a dragonfly. You can then stop and think; you can stop the time. No, wait, here goes another truth, it's not the time that's running, it's us. We never stop growing old. Take a breath, we're all young. We like to think otherwise because we are meant to grow up, that's what the society pushes on you. One should never stop dreaming like a child, one should always find happiness in little things. One should cry his/her eyes out if another homo sapience has done harm (physical or emotional). We should never lose the simplicity of love. It's wonderful to think of your dear ones as angels walking on the planet of earth. One should think of swearing as a terrible sin, that leads you into suffering. Bad words are followed by bad actions, we all know that. We should all, at least visually stay pure as the holy water. We must not forget that there's monsters hiding under the bed and in the closet.

We must stay brave, dream big dreams, and never give up on ourselves!

Blogging time!

Tik sen nēsmu raktījusi sakarīgu rakstu, ka pilnīgi kauns. Jātzīst, ka pāris dienas atpakaļ uznāca liela kāre kaut ko uzrakstīt. Sāku baigo rakstu ar baigo domu, bet telefons nočakarējas un iedvesma līdz ar to.

Tikko nāku no Politikas lekcijas. Jaunais profesors dikti jautrs, lai gan nedaudz kaitina tas, cik zemu viņš vērtē savu ex-sievu un ģimeni kā institūciju vispār. Ko padarīs, katram savi uzskati.

Man pietrūka mans blogs. Bet tā nu bija sanācis, ka neko nerakstīju. Iemesli bija daudz un dažādi, un esmu tajā posmā, kad tos var rast vēl un vēl. Esmu nolēmusi atsākt rakstīt. Nebūs protams tik bieži, ka tais dienās, kad blogs tapa (t.i. vismaz viens raksts dienā). Bet būs biežāk kā divi, trīs mēnesī. Tā lūk esmu apņēmusies.

Dzīve Skotijā ar katru nedēļu kļūst ar vien sarežģītāka, un es rodu jaunas problēmas katru dienu. Žēl, ka risinājumi gan tik viegli nenāk. Esmu izmēģinājusi daudz ko jaunu. Visu gan nestāstīšu, bet izklastīšu nedaudz par gastranomiskajām izvirtībām.

Sākušu ar to, ka kāds džeks mani iepazīstināja ar HP mērci. (Es nespēju atturēties un to nenosaukt par Harija Potera mērci, nu COME ON, ir taču smieklīgi!) Tās pamatā ir etiķis, un man etiķis riebjas. Tā vismaz man likās. Bet es paņēmu un nopirku Harija Potera mērci un kādas dienas trīs gandrīz nevienu ēdienu neēdu bez tās. Tagad esmu mazliet norimusi. Hariju Poteru aizstāja visu slavenais Heinz ar savu izcilo kečupu. Nopirku lielo pudeli (debīla atruna, bet nu bija uz atlaidi un viss) sestdien. Šodien ir otrdiena un pudele ir pusē! Bet, kad ēdu šī rīta cepto olu, sapratu, ka arī man garša var apnikt. Labi, gana par to.
Draugiem.lv recepšu domubiedru grupās meklēju lētas receptes, jeb receptes studentiem. Bija tur šis tas interesants, bet lielākajai daļai nepieceišamas daudz sastāvdaļas, ka normalam civēkam mājas būtu, bet man vēl nav savācies kaut kā. Viena recepte gan šķita ĻOTI vienkarša un izklausījas interesanta. Recepte tāda: ņem tortermaizes šēli un izņem vidiņu (mīkstumiņu) un nedaudz apgrauzdē uz pannas. Tad tajā tukšumiņā iešķeļ olu! Tā aizpilda caurumu un sacepas kopā ar maizi. Pievieno sāli, piparus, un ko nu kurš parasti olai met klāt. (Es virsū uzgāzu Heinza kečupu.) Un WA LĀ! Pirmajā reizē tā maize man drusku apsvila, tāpēc, kad mēģināju atkal maizi ar tukšo vidiņu nevis apcepu pirms tam, bet gan iemetu tosterī uz ļoti īsu brīdi. Tad uz pannas, un uzreiz tad to olu arī. Nu dikti vienkārši, bet gardi gan!!
Lieta tāda, ka tagad atļaujos eksperimentēt uz nebēdu! Nav jāuztraucās, ka kādam nepatiks, jo vienīgā, kas to ēdīs būšu es. Izvēlīga nēsmu, ja sastāvdaļas ir labas, tad gan jau gala rezultātu apēdzīšu arī tad ja garša nebūs pārāk lieliska. Vakar izmēģināju ko jaunu. Atradu, ka virtuves skapīti ir kāda tvaicējamā katla aukšējā daļa. To paņēmu un uzstutēju uz kāda katla, ka derēja gluši kā uzliets. Satvaicēju zaļumus. Tikmēr pannā sagrauzdēju nelielu saujiņu tīrītas saulespuķu sēklas. Tad, ka tvaicēšana gandrīz galā nedaudz apcepu plānas šķēlītēs sagrieztu papriku, pieliku klāt eļļu un garšvielas. Tad pieliku tvaicētās lapas. Nedaudz apcepu. Tad es piemetu pāris karotes mērci (to nopirku priekš maizēm kā piedevu, bet man tā nedaudz par asu, garša jau nav slikta, un smaršo ar jauki). Samaisa, pacep un liek uz šķīvja. Virsū sabēru apgrauzdētas sēkliņas, dažas sķēles svaiga gurķa (man vienkārši prasījās kas tāds). Un man liekas, ka lielisks garšu savilkums. Nākamreiz pieliksu klāt citu mērci, varbūt Hariju Poteru! Hehe.

Drīz jāskrien uz Politikas semināru. Bez tā man beidzot japabeidz rakstīt CV (jeb Resume (jeb sviests)). Vēl vajag nopirkt zābakus, jo apnīk jau, ka kājas gandrīz visu laiku slapjas (un man sķiet, ka kurpes ar sāk ost! FUI!).

Lai gan sakāmā man vēl ir daudz, un vienmēr būs, pagaidām ar to es beigšu.

Bučas mīlīši.

i am a hobo?!

Hello. It is Sunday. I would say that it is my favourite day of the week, but that is not true, so i will avoid that. We were planing to go to Montreal today to visit some places. You know, since dad is here for just one more week. But that fell apart because apparently the places where we wanted to go to are closed due to effing Canadians who are striking, as if they have no hobbies, but that. So we will be going to the museum of civilization to their new exhibition. I plan to not like it, though i am afraid that i will, a little.

The line of the day that was born in my head this morning is "I dreamt I am a hobo and i woke up tired". It is true, i did dream that i am homeless. I just think that there is something to think about. Since some think that being a hobo is easy, they think that they get money from the people who are nice enough to give change to street people and that they get food at soup kitchens and garbage, and shelter in the homeless shelters that are here and there around the city. Others say that they don't work, so they can not possibly be tired. I disagree. In the dream i was crazy looking for a place to stay for the night that had became unusually cold. I do not recall the reason why i was living on the street or how i ended up with no shelter for that very night. I remember being hungry and i remember that i was unable to ask people for help, just because i know how most people look at hobos. I was ashamed to be where i was. I recall being hungry and unable to eat, and i recall needing to use a washroom and i had no access to one. So absurd.
I remember that some odd family had a shed and they were happy to help me out, for the night at least. There was a girl who was about my age and we played chess on a hand drawn chess table and half of the figurines were missing. It didn't matter, we just played, she told me to pretend that i am just taking over someone's game who had lost some of the worriers. And so i did that. It was fun to play since no one cared who will win or who will lose - we were happy that we had something.. And i'm not talking about the chess board, i'm talking about the company each of us had. I was lucky to be in a shelter for the night. The girl was happy to have a someone to play with and the parents of that girl were glad that their daughter could be happy, at least for the moment.

Things like these make me remember how lucky i am to have a place to live in and a family that is there for me, even if not always they are right here beside me. So many people have no clue of what it is like to don't have the primary needs of a human being. It is ridiculous of what they think they deserve.. Preposterous.