Sanity

 I think you misplaced my sanity, and now I cannot find it.

We live in an ambiguous reality that is very likely to collapse any minute. We live in a world that, at best, sounds like a poem written by an old, drunk man. We cannot measure the time slipping through our fingers as we go about our mundane routine. We do not see the sun rise or the sun set. We do not get fazed by the moon phases. We're lost without even realising that the path that we're on is circular. We drive cars that drive themselves. They drive us down a cliff. We buy houses to live in, but spend our precious days at the office. We talk about love and respect while conveniently forgetting what's truly important. We dive into our socials as if they have the answers, but they only make us numb. We get so dissociated that we do not even realise we're no longer questioning anything. We become blank pages, we become nothing. If our lives were to be printed, they wouldn't even be white; they'd be see-through, not even tangible. 

I've stopped fighting. You may keep my sanity. I wasn't using it anyway. 

P.S. Isn't it Your birthday today? 

Un tu?

Es vēlētos dzīvot pasaku namiņā, kas atrodas meža vidū. Tas iebūvēts zābakā. Jā, zābakā! Kurpju šņores kalpotu kā žalūzijas. Tās dienā varētu atvērt ielaist nelielu saules staru, kas ieceļotu caur koku zariem. Bet naktī aizvērt, lai mēness gaisma nekož caurumus ciešā miega sapņos. Netālu varētu dzirdēt nelielas upes ūdens straumi, kā tas nesas lejā pa ūdens kritumu. Zābaka augšu mēs aizšūtu ciet, lai lietus un sniegs nekrīt uz galvas, un, lai skudras nezog brokastis no galda. Mums būtu nelielas kāpnes, kas vestu līdz guļamistabas logam, lai pēc nakts pastaigām var doties pa taisno uz sapņu zemi. Pirmajā stāvā mums būtu glauna dzīvojamā istaba, kur mēs uzņemtu viesus. Tai būtu aitādas paklājs, lai pēdām allaž silti. Un uz maza galdiņa vienmēr būtu karsta un pilna tējas kanna. Tai blakus nelielas, trauslas porcelāna tasītes, un saldummīļiem, svaigas īrisa konfektes. Mēs klausītos latviešu tautas dziesmas, kas spēlētu vecā radio kastē. Mums būtu iedomīgs kaķis, kas sēdētu istabas stūrī un vērotu visus ar niķīgu skatu. Mēs pa dienu ietu lasīt sēnes un ogas, vakarā dzertu tēju, bet naktī mēs sapņotu par to kā būtu, ja būtu. 

It's March!

Well, well, well.

Time sure flies. So many things have been going on, I don't even know where to start.
First, last month my first niece was born (after four nephews you'd think it's about time!), and that has been on top of my happy list lately.
I also begun my driving theory classes, so far they've not been awesome. I am learning things, but the dude teaching me and le group is some old fart who has zero faith in young people and he thinks that Latvia's current president is the only decent president he's seen in office ever. (To put in in a perspective, the current president has the worst rating off all the presidents we have had.)
But lucky for me that I study from books, and it's basically just memorizing so I don't really have to give a damn about what he says or doesn't say. Just have to be at the class twice a week.
Later this month I'll be going to Portugal again! I can't wait. I am so excited, I just want to make flips like a small puppy, but then I realize that I can't do that.
My friend has moved into a flat, and her boyfriend has arrived, and to be honest I am jealous of her. But she knows it. :D
And I have a job interview next week, and I am so worried, but it's good that I've not quit my current job, so I don't have to panic too much.
Life is moving forward at a speed that I can't really follow along to, just keep playing catch-up with it. I've also been sick for two weeks or so. Bad cough, had high temperature and the past two days my head just keeps aching. Oh well.

Work has become really dull. I'm at work now and I seriously can't be bothered to do much. Blah! Have to reply to yet another complaint, people are just ridiculous!


Also winter was gone all February, ha, I've even forgotten what snow feels like. Winter was gone before it actually got here. The migratory birds have started to come back. The pussy willow has begun to bloom. The sun leaves later and comes right back up around the time I get up from my sleep. The lights in the city dim off soon in the morning. People seem to ditch their warm coats, hats and mittens. I guess spring is here.