You Know Who You Are

I love you because you are awesome,
..you are awesome because I love you!




If I could build a fortress with my bare hands. If I could build a whole palace, just me all by myself.. Would I?
There are infinite questions, and just as many answers (if not even more). But which answer belongs to witch question? I wonder if it is even possible to build a whole fortress by myself.
Would I have enough strength? Who would sponsor it? Would I have to earn it all, just me? Wouldn't I have to learn about building, construction, architecture and all that jazz?

Or could I just get up, take all I need form where ever it can be found, and start building it where ever I feel like doing so?

When you break every day things into tiny details, into steps, when you elaborate the seemingly simple things, it becomes clear that it is not really as simple as might look.

We're not always allowed to do the things we desire just because we desire them. We are forced to think of the other factors. We are forced to think of consequences. We have to think about the others, what will happen to them, how will a certain action affect others.

And sometimes it isn't so easy to just say/write I don't care.
Surprise, surprise. 
I suppose that there are times when I do care.



I'm too tired to think.
I'm too lazy to be bothered to pre-read this post before posting.
I should, since I wrote it over a course of several hours,
but don't want to.
Bite me! 

This is Rubbish

This will be me ranting, consider yourself warned. 

I'm at work now.
This place is seriously starting to get on my nerves. I don't even know where to start.
I'm not sure if I've mentioned this, but I work at a hotel as a receptionist. I've been here since end of summer. The job is really fine, I have a list of responsibilities, not just one task to do over and over again. During night shifts I also have to prepare the breakfast. I also have to work in the restaurant as a waitress. And when there is no chef in, then I also have to make food for people. Now this is where the rant starts. Two people went to the restaurant, I tell them that there is no chef in, however, I can prepare something for them form the weekend menu. Now they make a face that makes me think that I've told them something so offensive that they are about to get up and walk away without saying a thing. But no, they just sit there with their... unhappy eggplant faces and unwillingly start to view the Weekend menu. Why the un-satisfaction is aimed at me? Is it my fault that the hotel is low on money? Is it my fault that they can't afford a chef for all times? Is it my fault that due to lack of clients it is inefficient to have the chef in? Yeah, I didn't think so!
Meanwhile I'm hoping they don't pick something that we don't actually have available. In a lucky case, they do pick something I have in the kitchen. Then I ask for drinks. There can be various scenarios;
1) They ask for beer, I ask what kind of beer. Many of them then ask something that they know (example, Carlsberg) - sorry, we don't have that, I can offer you some Latvian beers. - Emm, ok. - Then I usually ask if the want dark or light, and they usually don't know what they want. Other times they ask for draft beer, which is also something we don't have. Then often I bring them the first beer (the brand doesn't matter, as tastes vary from person to person), and they don't like it, and ask something different next time. And then for the third beer they go back to option one, assuming that every next beer I'd offer them would be worse and worse.
2) They ask for coffee or tea. That's not as difficult. The tea simply takes more time, as I need to boil hot water. But then there is no tea that they want. Then they say they don't want sugar, but turns out they wanted it after all, same story with milk.
3) They ask for something that I don't have (and that isn't even in the menu) - for example - fresh juice - any juice other than apple or orange - smoothies - ice cream cocktails - some other random drink.
4) They ask for spirit with something. Well, I am still not aware as to what goes in what glass. Then there is also the issue of lack of right sized glasses. I believe there is about two glasses that fit a shot with a full small glass bottle of coke in it - and they are always dirty. Same thing with G&T, I know I should pour the two together, but I don't have such a glass that fits it all!!!
5) They ask for just water, I believe that in any normal place they'd bring water for no charge, but we give the small bottles, there is 300something ml (or 400somthing, I don't care TBH), and then sometimes they are unhappy that I charge them for water.
6) Cola! Yeah, the cola problem is that about 50% of the time there is no coca cola available, because it is the most requested drink and finishes very fast once delivered. So here the question is, why not order more?? You gain more in the long run!!!
So then they pick something to eat, salad, soup or some hot dish, what ever it is, I have to go and make it for them. But wait! Who's doing my real job? Who's working at the reception, you may wonder! It's me! I'm supposed to be everywhere doing everything.
Now here is more bullshit - the reception is open 24/7, for guests that is ideal! But for us, not so much. There is a lot to do in the morning, and a lot in the evening. But middle of the night and middle of the day are usually quiet and there is nothing to do. So you sit on your ass for some hours and then you have to run like a horse for the rest of the time.
I often get comments form the guests asking/wondering how it is that I am all alone and have to do all the tasks. Well, I wonder too!

And who knows? Maybe it's time to get a new job?! I work hard, and I really try to do things well, but the thing is that nobody cares, no one seems to notice that you do so much. And the salary is an absolute joke! It's like a spit in the face. I can't imagine how I'd survive if I was living all by myself. It would be a nightmare.

Anyway, my shift is over in ten minutes. Then I'm going home for some sleep, since I've not had a normal night sleep for a week now. Oh, my colleague will be late, isn't life great?!

Fuck weekends. Fuck work. Fuck men. Fuck people. Fuck music. Fuck the sunlight. Fuck the moon and the tides. Fuck the polluted oceans. Fuck life and fuck death. Fuck all this bullshit.

I'm not satisfied with life today and everything seems to be wrong, everything makes me sad.
I don't even want to apologize for all the swearing.

--Basta.

It's March!

Well, well, well.

Time sure flies. So many things have been going on, I don't even know where to start.
First, last month my first niece was born (after four nephews you'd think it's about time!), and that has been on top of my happy list lately.
I also begun my driving theory classes, so far they've not been awesome. I am learning things, but the dude teaching me and le group is some old fart who has zero faith in young people and he thinks that Latvia's current president is the only decent president he's seen in office ever. (To put in in a perspective, the current president has the worst rating off all the presidents we have had.)
But lucky for me that I study from books, and it's basically just memorizing so I don't really have to give a damn about what he says or doesn't say. Just have to be at the class twice a week.
Later this month I'll be going to Portugal again! I can't wait. I am so excited, I just want to make flips like a small puppy, but then I realize that I can't do that.
My friend has moved into a flat, and her boyfriend has arrived, and to be honest I am jealous of her. But she knows it. :D
And I have a job interview next week, and I am so worried, but it's good that I've not quit my current job, so I don't have to panic too much.
Life is moving forward at a speed that I can't really follow along to, just keep playing catch-up with it. I've also been sick for two weeks or so. Bad cough, had high temperature and the past two days my head just keeps aching. Oh well.

Work has become really dull. I'm at work now and I seriously can't be bothered to do much. Blah! Have to reply to yet another complaint, people are just ridiculous!


Also winter was gone all February, ha, I've even forgotten what snow feels like. Winter was gone before it actually got here. The migratory birds have started to come back. The pussy willow has begun to bloom. The sun leaves later and comes right back up around the time I get up from my sleep. The lights in the city dim off soon in the morning. People seem to ditch their warm coats, hats and mittens. I guess spring is here.

Good morning!

Dear _________,

Thank you for choosing __________ Hotel.
I have booked a room for your guest __________.
Please see reservation confirmation letter in the attachment.
Does your guest require pick up at the airport, if so, could you please provide flight details?

If you have any further questions, do not hesitate to ask.

Best regards,
_________ Hotel
Receptionist ________
Tel ______________
Skype ___________
Other blah, blah, blah stuff