May, Wait, What, June?

Ok, if I was to have a child now I'd call it June, because it came unexpectedly.

Ha, bad humour stops here.

Dear Bob,

I own you an apology. I know it's been a while, but they say it's better late than never, so here is my apology. Bob (if that even is your real name), we met a very long time ago. Some years back. It was when I was still living in Ottawa. You most likely don't recall but we met in Rideau Center shopping mall in the food court. That day we both were there to attend an improv-everywhere event, the banana war. Remember now? Yes, it was funny, hilarious even. Random people shooting each other with bananas.

And so I found it, your iPod. Yes! It was me, I took it home, I could have went looking for you, Bob, but I didn't. I just swiftly put it in my pocket.
For four years I never touched it, never even tried to switch in on. And then one fine day, thousands miles away from Ottawa, I charged that little thing, and now it's me who is listening to all those songs on your list.

I bet you went looking for it on that day. But I want to apologize. And I want to thank you, Bob! Yeah, I like the small blue thingy, I think it will become a good friend of mine, and my laptop. Yeah, we'll all be good friend. But not you, only a tiny ghost of you remains.

But Bob, why is the memory space so small, huh?

Never yours,
me.

P.S. Clearly, I won this banana war.

"I'll Miss You! ♥"

I'm too lazy to search for a quotation that would say something about time, but You can just imagine I have a quotation here to start of my today's writing. I do realize that I have been writing about time too much, but it is something that I don't get enough of. Alright, instead of writing a quotation about time, I can insert a quotation about friendship. Ok? Sounds better already, doesn't it?

It takes a long time to grow an old friend.
/John Leonard/

I'm leaving the following Thursday. I am happy because I will see my friends and relatives in Latvia, but I am sad because I have to say goodbye to all my friends here. I still can not swallow the fact that I will most likely never see my Canada friends ever again. I can not imagine a day when I would want to chill with them and would not be able to meet up in a few hours. I can't believe there will no more be drunken nights with tons of booze and ridiculous conversations that somehow end up involving my boobs (don't ask :D) or other just as random topic. I refuse to accept that there will no more be emotional dramas and fake meanassness, lateness and evil prank calls, and other even more unforgivable actions. I simply can't imagine not tweeting about how I feel when with them. So there will no more be greedy eye glazes, and fighting about things I should be thankful existed. No more dancing at clubs where all you hear is the TOP 50 chart songs and so are able to sing along to every song, no scratch that, yell along to every song. There will not be any "mystery guests" at parties, and no more dares like making a girl turn on a gay guy. There will never be a group of people who comprehend jewish and black, and communist jokes on the level that we do,  nor will there be any new retarded inside jokes (I guess this is where the boob thing comes in).

This is THE END to an era, but as the old times go, new ones are about to unfold. And even though it is extremely sad to leave everything behind and move on, I am looking forward to the future.

But for now, let's forget about the past or the future. I adore this moment and there is no way I will give it away. so... LET'S LIVE IT UP!!

This is What I Wish to Give to You ..

Ever heard of something called nothing?! Well, that is what I am going to give You. Don't be upset, it is nothing personal. Let's face it - I have no idea who You are and I have not even a clue of where You are. So there is no chance of me giving You anything at all. I am very sorry for that.

You see my life has been changing so much that I can't even tell You it all. First I know when I will be leaving Canada. That will be happening very soon. Too soon. But before that comes, there will be goodbye parties, thankfully. Also, I still have to finish my summer school classes. Yeah, I might have never mentioned that before. I am taking summer school to boost up my average, so that I can get into the University.

Now a while ago, I graduated. Yeah, I managed and I survived (as You can see). Many of my friends have left already and it makes me sad to my guts and I feel like crying when ever I think of it. My best friend in Canada left last week, I never realized how good friends we were until the last few times that we met. It is almost insane, unimaginable, but true. I am gonna miss him so much. [See, my eyes are filled with tears now!! :'(] But we had some great times together and I will never forget it all.

The other day I found a letter that I wrote for myself at the beginning of my last school year (to be precise, 8th of September, 2009). I started this tradition on the February of 2007 when I wrote one that had to be read on the December of 2007, but I only read it in 2009 September. The last letter was to be read now, or in June. It described how my life was then and what I think of the thing that were happening. To keep the tradition rolling, I wrote a new letter. That one has to be read no earlier that 2011 August. I wrote some bullshit there, but I might blog about it, when I read it.

I still have so much to do in a very short time period. I have to pack, not only to go to Latvia, but also pack ALL my stuff. I have one suite case that I will have with me when I go now, while all my other things will be travelling only in November. Other than that I still have loads of stuff to do regarding to my education. As I mentioned, I still have to finish summer school. The last day is Monday the 26th of July, so only a week left. Exams are on this Friday. All I can think about is how I can kill myself before Friday (joking, I do not want to kill myself)! As summer school will be done, my next BIG step will be university, but I still have some things to sort out regards to that, send in applications to live in residence, as well as get in the university (since I got a conditional offer from two universities). I am scared that I will not get into my first choice, but I really want to, so let's keep our fingers crossed.

One more thing. Saying goodbye is so hard!! Yeah, I have done that before, but as I get older it gets harder since that bond I create with people is much stronger and way more meaningful. It pains me so badly that sometimes I cry only because of the idea that I will never ever see them again. Oh well.

So goodbye for now, but I promise You will hear form me again some time. I know I have become a lazy blogger lately, but I barely can find any time or inspiration to write anything, so please forgive me.

Oh and by the way, I hope You all are very into my SONG OF THE DAY blog. I have not ditched that one, not yet!

York Street and Graduation

I am officially a graduate of secondary school. Yeah, I have a diploma now!


ugh. ill finish this tomorrow. or the day after that. or ... some other day. but i really have loads to say! :)

Tu jūti?

Nu un ko. Kolekcionēt ir forši. Es vācu atmiņas mazās kastītēs. Četri reiz četri - kantainās, citas tādas nesimetriskas, citas ar velna raksties virsū. Bet lielākā daļa kārbu noputējušas pagrabu bēniņos stāv.

Vakar uzgleznoju raibu aitu. Nē, es meloju. Bet tik ļoti gribējās man uzgleznot raibu aitu. Ar spodri tīrām stikla ačelēm un mēli izkārtu līdz zāles stiebru saknēm. Zaļa. Ne zāle, bet mēle. Zālei krāsas nebūtu, jo kam tad vairs rūp?

Aplami es muldu. Man patīk muldēt. It sevišķi tad, kad grūti saprast kur pakārts veselais saprāts. Laikam atstāju uz plauktiņa, pirms došanās uz zemes virsu. Ko lai saka? Nemelošu, man te patīk. Un ļoti pietrūks, kad būs jākāpj atpakaļ gaisa kuģī, lai dotos turp, kur palicis veselā prāta pūrs (un tas arī, pieputējis).

Un tad man pēkšņi visi pietrūkst. Tik ļoti, ka elpa aptrūkst un ķermenim par maz skābekļa tiek. Plaušas sāk kost sānos, jo nezin kā strādā bez algas. Sažņaudzās neesošais ādamābols, tādā mezglā, ka pat jūrnieks atsiet nevarētu.

Ne no kā man gribās uz Romu un pie Venēcijas smirdīgajām ielām.

Un gribās man mājas.

Kur ir mājas?

Es vakar uzzīmēju raibu aitu. Tai mēle stiepās pāri ceļu galiem, aplīdusi man apkārt kā pāraugusi sēne. Tā (mēle) līda tālāk un tālāk un es nezinu kur tā stāsies. Pelēka zeme raudzījās manās zaļajās acīs. Spalgi iekliedzās mirstošās vārnas un acu vietā iedzēla plūdi. Aizskaloja manu aitu.


Un tagad bez krāsas, bez mēles, bez prāta, un ar aizelsušos elpu es tupu blakus mirušajām vārnām, jo nekā cita jau man nav.

Viss tač tas pats. Is that so?

I don't know what is up with me and questions lately. All I do is ASK, ASK, ASK, ASK, but no one is giving me the answers (that's probably because I ask my self, not other people, yup, never smart). Todays question, as You can see in the title is Is that to? Now, You might me wondering what exactly I am talking about, since it can get REALLY annoying when people go on and on about WHO KNOWS WHAT! So, for the first time (I think, the first time) I will get straight to the point. (HAHAHA, FAIL, straight to the point would be me finishing by now.) Either way, I am talking about the topic that I fear to even think about, UnIvErSiTy.
As I expected my marks did not stay on the ball. (Remember, I told You that the semesters are too long, so I lose motivation and the willingness to try by the time there is about one third of the semester left?) Unless universities practice the method It's ok, we don't care I am pretty much doomed to not get into the university that I wanted to get into so badly. But since I try to live a positive life, (Yeah, right, that's why I am so depressed. Gosh, i make no sense.) I understand that I still can get in the other university that required lower marks. Which is ok, after all it was one of my choices.

I can't wait for school to be over. There are 8 school days left. Then there will be the exams ANT then I will be done with school! :D It all sounds good, but then I think about taking summer school to improve my English mark and it makes me feel more depressed than I was in December 2008. (Those were bad times.)

Sorry, I can't stop babbling about school. But You gotta understand me, at least try to!

Life.. Life is all the same. As I read on someones blog a few minutes ago: "Same shit, different day." So give the pile of shit, I can hold it without braking, trust me. I mean, i haven't failed for the last 18 years of my life. The difference now is that I understand more than I did yesterday. (Or do I?)

With all the love I can possibly share right now,
Marta Viola.

P.S. Having friends over tomorrow, well, today, since it is past midnight. We plan to have a lot of fun! If You know where I live (OMG, please say You don't), You are welcome to join, but give me a heads up! ;D

The Truth

Actually I wanted to talk about:

• School & Exams
• Ottawa Green Bin! (yeeeey)
• Friends
• Facebook
• Universities
• Life
• The bus ride to school today
• How much life sucks
• How hard life is
• Sleep
  
• Movies
• Shakespeare
  
• and other stuff ...

Ohh well, some other time, when the exams are over, until then You will probably read some crap like in the previous post or no crap at all..