I'm not talking about the change you get when you pay with a bill for something that is worth less and then you get change back. And I am not talking about me changing, I've talked about that a lot before, but not now...well not really.
Summer has just slipped through my fingers. It was so much to hold, so much to bare, and so much to live with (now). But now summer is over. It is over length wise, since I've been celebrating summer ever since I quit my job in Scotland. And if anyone knows, that happened at the near-end of May (!!!).
I then had my amazing cycling trip, which has so far been the best choice I've made in my life. I gained more than I ever expected to gain from such a trip. Some things to mention, I challenged myself; it was a real physical and mental challenge. I met some really amazing people, and a great diversity of people. I got to stay with people and see how things differ between neighbouring countries in Europe. I had plenty of me-time, I had time to think, I had time to worry, and most important, I had time to be happy!
Once I arrived home I had to change my point of view, I had to change who I was. I had been living totally independently for the last two years, and I had been living away from everyone I knew for three years. So now I had to adjust to a different life, I was (am) now dependant on other people, and as I am present here I have much different expectations from other people. I celebrated Latvian midsummer, got to see Song and Dance festival events, I met people that I hadn't seen in a while, I went places where I hadn't been, I got a job in a hotel... AND I signed up for university and luckily got accepted into Sociology!
Then August came and I was yet again set free (by none other than myself) to go on another trip. This one was of a much different nature, and I did not travel alone. I went with a friend-of-a-friend and we went on a hitchhiking trip through several countries. We begun our trip by taking a plane to Milan. From there we went to Slovenia, Austria, Slovakia, Hungary, Ukraine, Poland, Lithuania, and eventually back to Latvia. This trip took us two weeks and two days. It was, again, a really nice trip. I got to see places where I had been when I was younger, I got to see places where I had not yet been, and I got to see roads that I had cycled not too long ago. It was a diverse trip, we had ups and downs along the way, but all in all, we were happy. We had no terrible accidents along the way, and no life threatening situations. We met some folks that we might see again someday.
When I arrived back to Riga, I hosted some people from couch surfing. That, of course, again, was new for me, a very interesting experience to be the host, not the surfer. I showed people the city, we had some drinks, and I cooked some meals. I also met a special person that changed a part of me, or should I say he changed the way I see certain things. It was a very happy and sad encounter - an all-in-one, if you may.. It was great! I got back to work, went to theatre, met people, went out of the city couple of times, participated in Latvia's Universities student celebration...
And now it is September. I have yet again begun school. It has just begun and I feel like I'll like it, I might even love it! I know how to manage my time, and I know what to do to get good grades, and how to learn as much as humanly possible.. now it is simply up to me to use all the previous experience and knowledge for my own advantage, and then things will keep up, things will be good again. I'll be a busy bird, and in my experience, the more I have to do, the more I get done. So yeah, you want me to do something, sure, no probs, BRING IT ON!!!
So that's my amazing summer in a summary... but I could honestly write an entire book about the last few months!
Showing posts with label bike. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bike. Show all posts
Wednesday, 4 September 2013
Saturday, 22 June 2013
One-Way Track
I've been on this trip for almost a month now. I'm sad that it will be over. This time has allowed me to think, think so far out of the box, so far from what I had been used to..
Often I think about the choices we make in life. We make them every second of every day, even in our dreams we still make choices. Then we see the outcome. We buy a new shirt, and we see that it looks good on us, and people like it. We say something controversial and someone in the crowd reassures that that is a great way of thinking. We decide to speak to a stranger, and he turns out to be a wonderful person. We take no umbrella when the weather-man said it will rain, and it turns out to be sunny all day. We decide to cross the street on a red light because we see no cars around. .. But what is the choices we make bring bad consequences? WHAT IF the shirt we got will look bad on you? What if no one back up your opinion? What if the stranger turns out to be a psychopath? What if it starts raining cats and dogs on a day when you don't take the umbrella? What if a car comes from around the corner and doesn't see you when you cross on that red signal?
Life is so trivial, so fragile, the smallest things can change who you are and what you will do. But how can you know if you make the right choices in life? By trying of course, you should always try new things, take the risk. You will either succeed or you will gain experience and some sort of perspective. You will then try again, try something different, or try a different approach. But what if it is too late? What if the choice we made is there for good, can't be undone, or altered? What if we make the wrong choice and see it when it's already too late? We go down a one way track and there is no way back.
I like to think that there is a way out - through different doors. I believe it's important to not get stuck, there is always a way out. There is always new things to try, new journeys to be made. So it comes down to DOING things, to stay out of the comfort zone, to try new things, taking risks. It comes down to changing yourself by yet another gram. One day I will not know who I was, I will be a different person. This journey has changed me a lot, it has proved to me things I never knew possible, it has showed me how possible it is to do something when you actually get up and try. It has given me hope about people and myself. Most importantly, it has risen doubts about things I always was very certain of.
Often I think about the choices we make in life. We make them every second of every day, even in our dreams we still make choices. Then we see the outcome. We buy a new shirt, and we see that it looks good on us, and people like it. We say something controversial and someone in the crowd reassures that that is a great way of thinking. We decide to speak to a stranger, and he turns out to be a wonderful person. We take no umbrella when the weather-man said it will rain, and it turns out to be sunny all day. We decide to cross the street on a red light because we see no cars around. .. But what is the choices we make bring bad consequences? WHAT IF the shirt we got will look bad on you? What if no one back up your opinion? What if the stranger turns out to be a psychopath? What if it starts raining cats and dogs on a day when you don't take the umbrella? What if a car comes from around the corner and doesn't see you when you cross on that red signal?
Life is so trivial, so fragile, the smallest things can change who you are and what you will do. But how can you know if you make the right choices in life? By trying of course, you should always try new things, take the risk. You will either succeed or you will gain experience and some sort of perspective. You will then try again, try something different, or try a different approach. But what if it is too late? What if the choice we made is there for good, can't be undone, or altered? What if we make the wrong choice and see it when it's already too late? We go down a one way track and there is no way back.
I like to think that there is a way out - through different doors. I believe it's important to not get stuck, there is always a way out. There is always new things to try, new journeys to be made. So it comes down to DOING things, to stay out of the comfort zone, to try new things, taking risks. It comes down to changing yourself by yet another gram. One day I will not know who I was, I will be a different person. This journey has changed me a lot, it has proved to me things I never knew possible, it has showed me how possible it is to do something when you actually get up and try. It has given me hope about people and myself. Most importantly, it has risen doubts about things I always was very certain of.
Thursday, 23 May 2013
They See Me Rollin'
It's a nightmare. My mind is like a roller-coaster; there are too many thoughts all in one. It's driving me crazy, literally crazy. I lack significant amounts of sleep, I lack rest, moral and physical rest. There seems to be no such thing as rest in my life. I am emotionally unavailable. I am cruel and tired. I am back in a crying mode. For all I care it's because I will be leaving again, leaving for good. And, fuck (excuse my language), but I've said so many goodbyes in my life, it's just absurd. It is so odd to see people now, people at work and other friends, and know that in a few days I will be gone, and I will probably never see them again. It's like a huge part of my everyday life is going to be torn out of me. It will be gone. I can feel tears build up several times throughout the day. I can feel falling due to lack of energy. I can feel that I am working too hard, I am ignoring my senses. I just keep moving even though I should stop for a moment and take a deep breath. I should ignore haters, cut them out of my life. Cut the cord. I should fight for friends that are worth keeping. But I am scared, I am scared that I actually deserve to be hated. I am scared that if I keep the good friends I will be hurt even more. It is just so much easier to become distant, to be cold. I am so tired of being forgotten. I don't want to be just another face in the crowd. I want to be different. I am different.
I will not change, I will keep going until I collapse. But I will rest as soon as I physically get away from here. My mind is still going to wonder about, I will always be thinking about things I did, and choices I made. But I need a new view, a new setting, somewhere where I can think thoughts that count, thoughts that make at least a little sense.
I can't let them bring me down. I am not going down. I feel like giving up, and at some points it is unbearable, but I know that it is crucial to keep going, to keep going for the things I've set for myself in the near future. I deserve to do things for a better future for myself, no one will make me believe otherwise.
P.S. I've created a new blog called Must Keep Going. On the new blog I will, hopefully, be posting things along the way. Here's the link: http://my-cycling-trip.blogspot.co.uk/
I will not change, I will keep going until I collapse. But I will rest as soon as I physically get away from here. My mind is still going to wonder about, I will always be thinking about things I did, and choices I made. But I need a new view, a new setting, somewhere where I can think thoughts that count, thoughts that make at least a little sense.
I can't let them bring me down. I am not going down. I feel like giving up, and at some points it is unbearable, but I know that it is crucial to keep going, to keep going for the things I've set for myself in the near future. I deserve to do things for a better future for myself, no one will make me believe otherwise.
P.S. I've created a new blog called Must Keep Going. On the new blog I will, hopefully, be posting things along the way. Here's the link: http://my-cycling-trip.blogspot.co.uk/
Saturday, 18 May 2013
Honesty
To all the haters and non-believers.
There is no such thing as impossible. That's what winners call giving up. "Quitters never win, winners never quit." You can all tell me otherwise. You can keep calling me crazy, because that's what I am.
But it's hard to always stay strong. It's hard to stay positive when no one has the courage to back me up and believe in me. It's hard that instead of supporting me, helping me you do the exact opposite.
For every gram of strength I gain, there is someone who hatefully takes it away. I need all support possible, but even the people who I expect it from are simply not there for me.
"The worst part about being strong is that no one ever asks if you’re okay."
I'm trying so hard to transfer all that negative energy into more will power.
Despite you all, I still believe in myself, and there is no way you can take that away from me. You can try, and it ill only make me stronger. "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger."
One day this will all be gone and I will remember that I did something that others would never even think of doing. I am, and will be different. I will succeed.
I remain as the girl that said goodbye before saying hello. I will be gone and most of them will not even remember my name or my face. But I'd like to think that they will remember something, a small thing I did or said. Everyone I've met has helped me to form the person I am today, they all have made changes, alterations, if you will. Some for better, some for worse, either way I am here now the way I am. And I'm happy not because I like my life or everything around me. But I'm happy because of the way I can make people feel. It is power, it is a special trait. I know I've made people feel bad, but I've also made people feel good. It is a conscious choice how you treat people. It doesn't just come as an instinct. It is your choice how you make others feel. It is your words and your action that matter. You simply have to pick the right people, you simply have to pick the right people..
So here I am now, ready to yet again say goodbye. I'll put on that smile. I will walk tall. I will make you all believe that I am happy. But it's important that the message is out there I will miss these days, I will miss the people, and the comfort I am in. I am scared for it all, and I know things will be tough. I know I will struggle during the journey and after it. Couple of very hard months are coming right up. But I know that I will be proud of myself. And in the end of the story called life, it will all be worth it. "Nothing worth having comes easy."
There is no such thing as impossible. That's what winners call giving up. "Quitters never win, winners never quit." You can all tell me otherwise. You can keep calling me crazy, because that's what I am.
But it's hard to always stay strong. It's hard to stay positive when no one has the courage to back me up and believe in me. It's hard that instead of supporting me, helping me you do the exact opposite.
For every gram of strength I gain, there is someone who hatefully takes it away. I need all support possible, but even the people who I expect it from are simply not there for me.
"The worst part about being strong is that no one ever asks if you’re okay."
I'm trying so hard to transfer all that negative energy into more will power.
Despite you all, I still believe in myself, and there is no way you can take that away from me. You can try, and it ill only make me stronger. "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger."
One day this will all be gone and I will remember that I did something that others would never even think of doing. I am, and will be different. I will succeed.
I remain as the girl that said goodbye before saying hello. I will be gone and most of them will not even remember my name or my face. But I'd like to think that they will remember something, a small thing I did or said. Everyone I've met has helped me to form the person I am today, they all have made changes, alterations, if you will. Some for better, some for worse, either way I am here now the way I am. And I'm happy not because I like my life or everything around me. But I'm happy because of the way I can make people feel. It is power, it is a special trait. I know I've made people feel bad, but I've also made people feel good. It is a conscious choice how you treat people. It doesn't just come as an instinct. It is your choice how you make others feel. It is your words and your action that matter. You simply have to pick the right people, you simply have to pick the right people..
So here I am now, ready to yet again say goodbye. I'll put on that smile. I will walk tall. I will make you all believe that I am happy. But it's important that the message is out there I will miss these days, I will miss the people, and the comfort I am in. I am scared for it all, and I know things will be tough. I know I will struggle during the journey and after it. Couple of very hard months are coming right up. But I know that I will be proud of myself. And in the end of the story called life, it will all be worth it. "Nothing worth having comes easy."
I'll prove them all wrong!
Thursday, 9 May 2013
Cycle
"Life is like riding a bicycle, to keep your balance you must keep moving."
And that I will do.
I'm planing to get back on my bicycle, just this time i'll be better prepared.
So here I will make a list of things that I have, things that are on the way and things that I still should purchase.
-Spare Tube
-Tools
-Travel Insurance
-Pannier
-Rack
-Speedometer
-Mudguards
-Padded Shorts
-Safety Vest
-Gloves
-First Aid Kit
-Emergency Blanket
-Handlebar Ends
-Helmet
-Lock
-LP
And that I will do.
I'm planing to get back on my bicycle, just this time i'll be better prepared.
So here I will make a list of things that I have, things that are on the way and things that I still should purchase.
-Spare Tube
-Tools
-Travel Insurance
-Pannier
-Rack
-Speedometer
-Mudguards
-Padded Shorts
-Safety Vest
-Gloves
-First Aid Kit
-Emergency Blanket
-Handlebar Ends
-Helmet
-Lock
-LP
Wednesday, 18 July 2012
Monday, 4 June 2012
Estimated Damage
Friday night I went to a friend's place. He was celebrating that her flat mate (also ex-girlfriend) had moved out. We ended up having a few drinks and playing table games (yeah, actual table games). most of us were up almost the entire night. Anyway, I stayed the night there, and then during the day I had finally gotten home. I was so tired that I locked up my bike downstairs, as I had done some times before. Sunday morning I had a bad gut-feeling. The moment I woke up I went straight to the window to peek at my bike. And then I was that the back wheel was up, and somehow shoved into the bushes. Then I decided that I should leave timely for work, just in case I'll have to walk. And right I was, the seat had been taken off the bike.
Once I got home from work I took the bike upstairs. I had also gotten the seat back, Kaspars saw that it was outside in the grass. Well, here is the full list of what the hooligans have done:
I got this bike for 30 pounds. Don't know if I should sell this one, give it away, or try to fix it, or just get a new one.
AND, YES, I do blame myself for leaving the bike outside. However, I am raging that people would just destroy someone else's property just for the sake of it. I secretly wish someone had rather stolen it. Because then there would at least be some use of it.
Life is life. Blah.
Once I got home from work I took the bike upstairs. I had also gotten the seat back, Kaspars saw that it was outside in the grass. Well, here is the full list of what the hooligans have done:
- Pulled of the seat
- Took apart the brakes
- Turned around the light reflector
- Changed the speeds around
- Kicked about the wheels
- Punctured the tires
- Destroyed the lock
I got this bike for 30 pounds. Don't know if I should sell this one, give it away, or try to fix it, or just get a new one.
AND, YES, I do blame myself for leaving the bike outside. However, I am raging that people would just destroy someone else's property just for the sake of it. I secretly wish someone had rather stolen it. Because then there would at least be some use of it.
Life is life. Blah.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)