How?

I've heard people say that I am too young to have no faith to the world. And maybe so, it could be that they are right! But how can I have any faith at all? I don't even believe myself, I have let myself down countless times, and I keep on doing so. I've been let down by others even more times than I've disappointed myself. So how can I keep on believing people, when I know that I'll be disappointed? That just doesn't make sense. So it is just logical to have no faith in human, in people.

Who knows, maybe people are, in general, nice creatures, but deep-deep down we all are selfish. When it would come to it, we would all be willing to kill someone for our own good. We would not risk our heath or wealth for someone else without own benefit. We all seek for self satisfaction, even if it is on the expense of others. And YES, there will be those of you, who will think don't judge everyone based on yourself. Yes, I am selfish too, but I am also kind, and I've given a lot, and I feel like I've been let down too much for what I have done. It's not physical pain, but emotional pain, people playing with feelings. I am weak this way, I've become weak. So I will not let any ass-holes betray me. No, I've had enough of that bull shit.

And yes, I have done wrong, and I have let go the wrong people in my life. But there have been so many.. and mostly I just feel like they will not care. So I give up, I give up before the battle begins. All because I don't want to be let down.


I've got high standards, so what, sue me!